Help Getting Toddler to Stay (And SLEEP) in His Bed!

At that age, we just let them come into our bed. Our philosophy was that our kids need us at night, too. We wanted them to know that our door was always open. And we realize that kids get scarred at night. When our kids had trouble sleeping, they just wanted to feel safe.

I can tell you that they are now 7 and 10 and both sleep through the night, every night, in their own bed unless they are sick.

It wasn't always easy to have an extra body in our bed, but we chose not to make it into a battle. For us, it was totally worth it in the end.

yes, you've complicated matters by allowing a family bed if you really don't want a family bed.
when a little person can climb out of a crib, it's past time to get rid of the crib.
help him set up a Big Boy bed that's low to the floor and safe for him.
then you have two basic choices. you either walk him back, silently and relentlessly, every single time he comes into your room, or you make a little nest beside your bed and allow him to curl up there until he decides he wants to stay in his own big boy bed all night.
neither is better than the other.
the first will cost you sleep for a few nights (possibly a few weeks) but don't take it out on him. you set this up. the second will mean it takes longer for him to stay in his room, but everyone will get more sleep.
i agree with not locking him in.
i don't agree with stubbornness being a valid out for being a helpless parent.
khairete
S.

I am with Gidget.

Imagine yourself in his shoes and how it would feel that someone rejects you when you need comfort.

My kids are 7 and 9 and still come sometimes at night just to feel this unconditional love and that they know they are safe.

If he is too squirmy keep a mattress on the floor in your bedroom

I think they ALL do it at some time or another.
I really think this is some sort of left over instinct that toddlers have back from our caveman days when unattended kids were prey.
Being close to an adult insured survival.
A bed of his own might help a little - but he's going to keep coming to your room possibly for a few years yet.
Decide what your goal is - keeping him in his bed - or getting some sleep.
Set up a sleeping bag near your bed so if he wakes up he can come sleep in your room but not in your bed.
Eventually he'll come there but not wake you up when he does.
After awhile - and this phase varies so much -some get over it quickly while others take longer - he'll want the comfort of his own bed.
Hang in there!

use the same routine that got him to sleep in his crib. then every time he comes to your bed. take him by the hand and walk him back to his bed. lay him in it and gently pat or rub his back for a minute then quietly leave the room. do NOT turn on any lights. do not make a big deal about it. just walk him back to bed.

i also used a baby gate installed across my sons door to keep him in his room. the only thing in there was his bed and some toys so i was not worried about what he was doing as long as he was in his room.

I think that for safety at night, you should ultra-toddler proof his room, and then confine him to it. I wouldn't lock him in, but I'd put a baby gate across the doorway. That way the door can be open and you can peek in and make sure he's safe, but he can't wander the house.

We used a gate. We didn't want him to have free reign.

F. B.

Mine came into our room when they were a bit older - closer to three, but it was a short lived phase. They were welcome to sleep on the floor (we didn't encourage the bed). I made sure the baby gate at top of stairs was locked and nothing they could trip on, left a night light on in hall.
For us it was not the norm. Where this is every night, I'd wonder why he is waking up around 1 am consistently. Does he wet his diaper? Maybe cut back on drinks before bed .. etc.
My sister's kid woke in the night - for her the heater was switching off and the kids got cold after kicking off blankets. Sometimes there's a reason for waking.
My kids all had a night light/bubble machine that they could press to turn on soft music/water sounds - if they woke. I could hear it go off in the night and know they'd woken but gone back to sleep. That worked really well for us. I got rid of it once they were sleeping through well.

Put a baby monitor in his room so you can hear him if he gets up. Put a baby gate across his doorway that he can't get over. If he is mobile when you are out of sight you must make sure every bathroom door and exit from the home is shut and locked with childproof locks. Kids can tip over into toilets and drown and if he gets a door open he could end up outside.

There isn't any way I'd feel bad about making sure he can't get out of his room, I expect that you do have his furniture secured to the wall so that if he climbs on it he can't topple it over, right? And that if he has any shelves there are L brackets under each shelf so it can't come out and hurt him? No toys for above age 3?

Then his room is safe for him to be in without you hovering. He can wake up, play, lay down in the floor even. If he is safe then it won't hurt for him to be up. A baby monitor will let you hear him if he wakes up.

Make sure he's eating a good snack before bed so that he isn't waking up hungry. We put the kids to be later in the evening and they had a snack before brushing their teeth and going to bed. When they had a good snack they seemed to sleep much better.

Welcome to mamapedia!

So your TWO YEAR OLD won't stay in his bed?

Sounds like you need to make his bed time later.

When he gets out of bed, quietly and nicely walk him back to his bed and tell him it's still bed time. Tell him you love him and sweet dreams. Then tuck him back in bed and go back to bed.