Help Getting My 12 Week Old to Sleep

You are doing the right thing, but he just came from your body three months ago. My daughter slept on me most of the time. My son slept six hours his first night home. Give him some time to understand routine. Babies don't know the diffenence between day and night. Rest when he rests and enjoy this time where you are just a mommy. You can get your work done when he is too busy playing with someone else. In two years you won't be able to make him sit in your lap.

12 weeks is way too young to try the "cry it out" method, (if at all), so keep trying other things. At that age I would guess he's either too tired or not tired enough, or maybe going through a growth spurt and really still hungry? Whatever you try, it will take a few days of consistent routine to see if it will work for him. I have been sleep deprived for years on end, so know how you feel about getting a baby to be a "good sleeper", but at that young age, maybe you just need to hold him more. My babies slept in my arms, nursing/sleeping while I watched TV with my husband at night or read, etc. and then off to bed together later. Between 9 months and a year I did the big transition to crib at night, and it didn't take long (less than a week with minimal fussing). Each baby is different, and your needs do count too, but in the big picture just remember that your baby is very small and really just needs you more than anything else right now.
hang in there and enjoy it! (My boys are 7,5,and 3...I never thought those tiny baby days would be gone and here we are! wow)

I heard about getting your baby to sleep threw the night on a CNN morning show. Keep the room dark with only enough light to walk around with, buy a black out shade, use white noise, and have the room cool 68-72 degrees. The last one we dont do because it would break the bank for us. We do all the others and as soon as I took his lamp out of the room he started sleeping better. I am also not a fan of cry it out. If my son cries its because he needed something. Best of luck.

He may have a problem transitioning from REM sleep (active sleep) to a deep sleep. Many babies wake up instead. It usually happens about 30 minutes after they have been asleep. I've been told to do whatever you have to do to get him back to sleep as quickly as possible. Nurse him, run in there and rock him....whatever you think is best. Just don't let him become too aroused and awake. It should train him to transition on his own. Another thought on sleep...my son was an excellent sleeper. He started sleeping 12 hours at 4 months of age. I did let him cry it out some but it was more of a fuss it out. My daughter on the other hand was used to being held and rocked to sleep. I was such a sucker with her (knowing she'd probably be my last). She had a really tough time learning to fall asleep on her own as an older baby. At 8 months of age, I tried to let her cry it out. I couldn't. She wasn't like my son, she would get completely hysterical!!! I couldn't do that to her. Every few weeks, I would try it again. By 11 months of age, she started fussing it out. It would only last 5 or 10 minutes. I stopped nursing her or rocking her to sleep as well. She is 14 months old now and just as great of a sleeper as my son. I'm not a zombie mom like many of my friends who have 2 year olds who are still getting up at night. Do what's best for you but I just wanted to tell you what worked for me. I myself was searching for answers when my daughter was depriving me of sleep. :)

What I was told when my son was little is if your baby is fed, changed and it is bedtime....they must cry it out otherwise it will get MUCH harder the older they get. They are smart...they know if they cry someone will rescue them. If you know he is fed, changed and not gassy and it's bedtime...he ahs to cry it out! I promise now is the time to break the habit of rescuing him everytime he crys otherwise it will be SUPEr hard later!

He may not be sleepy enough, or maybe you need to make his last nap a little earlier. At this age their sleeping habits can vary. Also, by cosleeping, do you mean he's in the bed with you, or is he in a little bed next to your bed? If he's sleeping with you, that's likely the problem. He can't learn to sleep independantly if he's use to mom & dad in the bed with him every night. If he's in a little bed next to your bed, he may be ready to move into his own room or his crib. Does he nap in the same place that he goes down for the night? If not, that could be part of the problem. Be consistent with where he sleeps (put him in the same place for naps & bedtime), keep him up a little later & if he's sleeping in your bed, move him to his own bed & see if that helps. Best wishes!

I agree with several posts about not crying it out.. my son is 9 weeks old, and I won't have him cry it out.. A tip that I know, and haven't seen on the posts-- is if you think your baby is asleep, pick up his arm and drop it.. if he startles, or twitches, he's not deeply asleep.. so keep rocking.
I don't suggest adding the cereal until you check with the pedi.. usually they start at 4 months. From one sleepy mom to you, good luck!! We'll eventually get some sleep someday (I HOPE!!)

music in the room helped with both of mine. It got to the point that my son would fall asleep almost as soon as the first piece was finishing. Be sure that it is soft and restful. Have the room quite and the lights dim. Good luck Some sleep for the parents is good.

Honestly, he's only 12 weeks old. He may need some extra rocking or nursing. I don't think cosleeping with you is a problem, unlike other people. He doesn't need to "sleep independently" at 12 weeks old! My kids were rocked and nursed to sleep and eventually learned to sleep on their own - not by being cast out/aside, but by me listening to their cues and doing what they needed, as it sounds like you're doing now.

I strongly recommend "Happiest Baby on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp. It is in book AND DVD form! You can watch the DVD during those late nights! He advocates the 5 S's: swaddling (are you swaddling??? It is wonderful for these fresh-out-of-the-wombers.),side, shushing, swinging, and sucking (nursing or paci). He also talks about the "4th trimester" as babies get used to "our" world outside the womb. He's wonderful. You HAVE to read his book or watch the DVD!!! Here is his website: http://www.thehappiestbaby.com/ You can actually get some info there, too. But if you only have 1 book to read on infant development and sleep, this is the only one I would recommend!!! He is so understanding of how babies are!

****ETA: Please please please do not add cereal to his bottle. Don't let anyone tell you to do this. Except for babies with reflux, any pedi worth his/her salt will tell you cereal should only be fed off a spoon! Cereal should be held off as long as possible. The AAP recommends exclusive breastfeeding for the first 6 months, though pedis will tell you it's ok at 4. Cereal in a bottle is a huge no-no (i don't understand why people persist in spreading this myth) and much research shows that solids don't really help a baby sleep longer at night anyway. Breastfed babies are also different than formula-fed - growth charts and "normal" are based mostly on formula-fed infants and can be confusing if you're dealing with an EBF baby.

Also, a poster mentioned a growth spurt....My pregnant brain forgot about that possibility! Babies go through growth spurts at 3, 6, and 9 weeks, and 3, 6, and 9 months. Through this time, they need to nurse on demand to make your supply meet their needs. He may be telling you he needs to nurse more!!!

I also agree that CIO is not a good option at this age. I personally don't think CIO is a good option any time, but that's for each individual to decide for her family. However, many pedis will tell you don't think about CIO until 6 months or more. 12 weeks is definitely too young for that!

I really do recommend Dr. karp's book - it will give you lots of insight on your little man and how he operates!

I'm with Laurie. It might be time to get your son in his own room. My husband and I tried to keep our daughter in our bedroom with us too and ended up putting her in her own room at about 1 month old. She just wouldn't settle at night. At first I thought it was days and nights being flipped but she was awake during the day and had already seemed to have "un-flipped" a few days after we brought her home from the hospital. My sister suggested putting her in her own room for a night so we could both get a little sleep. Amazingly, she sleeps almost all the way through the night. I'm talking a full 6 hours here! At one month! Of course I didn't sleep much that night checking on her to make sure she was still breathing but I soon got over it.

Now, at 6 months, she sleeps through the night from about 10:00 to 8:30AM. Can't beat that. Trying the idea of facing her sideways in the crib might work too. We don't do this but our daughter will wiggle around pretty early in the night to where she is sideways in the crib. I think she is more comfortable like this. Something else she does, and has done from almost the same time we put her in her crib to sleep, is roll over and sleep on her side. Now it's easier for her to do but even at 1 month she would kick her legs until she flopped over. I made sure to check with her doctor because I was worried about this but the doctor said she was fine and just told me to watch to make sure she slept on both sides at least sometimes. She does but she prefers her left, just like her mama does coincidentally. Babies just have to find their own ways of being comfy just like us.

Since your breast feeding your son may not sleep all the way through the night like my daughter did, formula baby, but he will start to learn that it's ok to be alone at night. Also what Laurie said about the diaper thing is true too. IF you have to go change the diaper or feed your son at night DON'T interact or talk or even make smiley faces at him. It's hard not to I know but when you do its just as good a tickle and they will wake up more. It was hard for me to not do this when I had to go in there because she would lay there smiling up at me with this huge grin and to not smile back is almost impossible. But to be as boring as you can be is better. You are his favorite person/play toy at that moment but to play with him will wake him up. I suggest, unless his diaper is falling off him or poopy, that you don't change it if you need to give him a quick feeding. Good rule of thumb is to change the poopy ones but let the wet ones do their job of pulling wetness away from them. I'm talking disposable diapers here and if you don't use them you might want to consider using them just at night. They pull the water and trap it off babies skin. My daughter wakes up with a "bubble butt" every morning but her skin is dry and she's never had a rash.

So hopefully it will all work out. Right now it sounds to me like you have a baby that is sleepy but since your always in the room whether it's during the day or night doesn't understand that sometimes you have to leave the room. My daughter wakes up all the time. I hear her squirm around but then she just falls back to sleep because there's nothing to do. Boring sometimes is good for babies.

Good luck!
Jen
http://www.mommysjoy.com

Try putting your son to sleep on his tummy. He can probably flip himself over by now (or close to it). Read Nighttime Parenting by Dr. Sears. Babies digest better when they are on their tummy. My first baby was the worst sleeper ever. She would spit up or the dog would bark, etc and it would wake her up. When she was on her tummy, she slept much better. The newest recommendation is to flip your baby so they won't have flat head. You are correct not to let your baby CIO. I don't want to scare you with the stories I have read. Hang in there, mama!

I agree with what another mom said...do what works best for you. I hated to let my kids "cry" it out. Seems very unfair.......they are supposed to be able to rely on us to rescue them. They don't know why they are crying just that they are and after being surrounded by your sound, your warmth and your smell for 9 months now they are in some big empty quiet bed. I'd be a little freaked out too! I'll be the first to admit that according to all the "experts" I did it completely wrong... my son slept with us until he was 2 and then in the same room with us until he was 5. I never could find an answer to his question..."Why do you and daddy get to sleep together but I have to sleep by myself?" My son is now 19 and you know what........he doesn't sleep with me (or anyone else!!). When you find what is comfortable for you and your family you'll know it and don't sweat what the experts say....your the mom, you are the one loving your family every day and believe it or not.......you will do great!!

I would wait to put him down so quickly. I actually had to leave the house a couple of times while my husband let him cry it out!
Nursing does make it harder!! I feel for you. I know you are not ready to go to the bottle, but........a bottle with cereal may help him sleep thru the night. Give him an ounce or two before you nurse.....Good luck!

How is he eating? Does he seem to be eating ok during the day i.e getting enough?

This is just a suggestion about how to finish your book. . . I think you'll get plenty about the sleep issue. . . Try reading while he's nursing. You can still bond with him while he's nursing and you read. My little girl didn't really pay me that much attention while she was eating anyway, so that wasn't a problem for us. Good luck!

He may not really be sleepy after being awake only 2 hours. Maybe he should stay up 3 hours now. Infants sleeping habits can change week to week. Are you ready to transition him to a crib? Could be he needs to be in his own bed.

To transition try this.
Place a rolled up towel at the top of his head so he will have that pressure on his head. Place him in the crib so that he is sleeping the width of the crib instead of the length.This will help to make the crib not seem so big.

If he wakes up in the middle of the night with wet diaper, or whatever, try not to talk to him, do not turn on the lights. Make it as uninteresting to him as possible, so that he will not be stimulated. You could also pat his bottom with light pats. It seems to lull them to be patted.

Our daughter never used a binky so we would place her fist in her mouth. Sometimes this would sooth her. I know many babies use the binky to sooth themselves to sleep. One friend had to place 3 or 4 of them in the crib, cause their baby would throw them out of the crib right before she fell asleep, if she would wake up in the middle of the night, as long as she could find a replacement, she would not cry.

Hope you can get some night time sleep.