Help Getting 2 Year Old Out of Family Bed

I would recommend getting her a twin bed. Skip the toddler bed. I did this with my kids, which allowed me to lay down and read with them in their own beds. This helped with the transition. IMHO - toddler beds are a waste of money.

I had my daughter sleeping in our bed, but got her out when she was still an infant. However my friend did not. The way she got her son out of her bed was she brought the toddler bed into her room and put it right next to her bed. Then she slowly moved the toddler bed further and further away from her bed until he was in his own room. It took a while, but it got the job done.

Yes, I have. Try having your daughter sleep in your room in the new bed. If that is not physically possible, create a floor bed using the mattress from the bed. If that isn't posssible make a sleeping pad near your bed using a sleeping bag. Tell her she is getting very big and the bed is not quite big enough for all of you now. Make it fun and like a game. The idea is to get her to sllep by herself yet in the same room, so she doesn't suffer trauma from the separation. Next after she has made the transition to her own bed, give her a few weeks, then move the bed into her own room. It helps to really make a big deal about her room. Paint it, decorate it,play around together in there, so she will feel positive about the move. Have fun with her! It will all work out. JW

Check out the book the No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers. Elizabeth Pantley is great. Lots of good ideas. I also recommend going to a twin bed, so you can lay with her and read, etc. It may take a while, but you've given her something wonderful since birth, no wonder she doesn't want to change. Don't spoil the great connection you guys gained with a rough end! My daughter got out of our bed just after age 2.5, after her sister was born. She decided it was too crowded, but she still loves to come snuggle with us in the mornings, and she can't wait until her sister is old enough to sleep in their room together!

K.

I would recommend starting the process by putting her toddler bed mattress on the floor next to your bed. Let her get used to sleeping out of your bed, but close by. Gradually move her to her own room. You know the old saying....baby steps. Good luck.

My husband came up with a wonderful idea that worked like a charm. Our son has alwasy slept in his crib since birth. He is almost 3 and stil sleeps in his crib. But when he turned 2 he was in a habit of calling for us around midnight to crawl in bed with us. It became a habit and it was every single night for months. We had a hard time getting him back to his bed. Well, he is a paci lover,,,, big time. My husband made the rule that the paci could not leave his crib because he was a big boy and big boys only use the paci at night. It took a few nights to remind him that if he comes in our bed, there is no paci. It worked like a charm and he never asks to come in our bed anymore.

C., I understand where you are coming from. I have a four year old son and a 1.5 year old daughter. My son did not sleep in his bed until he was a little over 2 (around my due date with my daughter), and she slept with me up until this month. The first few nights for both my children, I had to camp out in their room next to the bed. Although I don't condone television in a toddler’s room, I did find that both children handled the separation better with the television (something that they both enjoy). I also waited till they were very sleepy (but still awake) to place them in their beds each night. It was a little easier with my daughter because my son and I set up a tent in her room and played with flashlights, read stories, etc, until she became tired, then I placed her in the bed. I also had to close my bedroom door while we played in her room so that she knew it was off limits. It wouldn’t hurt to buy a sheet set with her favorite character if she has any. My first objective was to get my children accustomed to being in their rooms and having fun, during both day and night. Then I focused on making them feel safe and comfortable enough to sleep in their rooms. I hope that something in this response helps you. Keep us posted and good luck!

Have a big girl party!!

Invite her favorite friends and family one night for dinner and celebrate her big girl bed party. Balloons cupcakes or a homemade cake to celebrate her having her own bed now. Maybe try it next to your bed for a week or so then slowly move it into her room, you may have to lay down with her as well. Sometimes have a big stuffed animal next to them helps them to feel the comfort of having mommy or daddy with them.

Watch Supernanny. Stuff like that is on it all the time. SHe has parent put child in their own bed at bedtime and tell them that is where they need to stay and sleep. If they get up during the night, take child back to their bed. Sure they will cry and try to get right back up. then you continue to take right back to their bed (no talking during these repeated steps) Now, of course the first night will be the worst. BUt they will eventually stop and go to sleep. May take up to 3 nights,(each night less time before they know you mean business and are not going to give in). you will then have your own bed again.
It actually works. I do remember my 2 year old or a little younger I think, started to get up out of her toddler bed, and not wanting to stay in her room. Pediatrician had us put a baby gait in her door, so she couldn't get out and put her down to bed. She wasn't able to come out of room, and stood in doorway crying (we couldn't let her see us) make sure room is safe may have a tantrum, and will eventually stop. lasted 2 nights, 2nd night was 1/2 the time of the 1st night, then she didn't even get out of bed 3rd night on. 1st night she fell asleep at doorway. May need 2 gaits one on top of other if child climbs. I have heard of moving bed each night slowly out of your room, but pediatrician really recommended doing this, it worked, and solved in 2 nights.

We bought a twin bed (skip the toddler bed so you can lay or sit with her) and special sheets. Then a big routine that always includes reading books, praying, singing a song, and snuggling. Then we say good night and close the door.

Our first was out of our bed at 17 months and the second at 6 months and this last one at 6 weeks. Of course, they went to the crib before the bed.

If he got up, we walked him back to bed. After the point that he fully inderstood he was disobeying, we spanked each time he got up again.

Our 4 year olds routine (I do this one) - book, snuggle, pray, sing a song (I do this standing next to his bed and don't start until he's snuggled in and comfortable). He then has a nightlight and a fan.

Our 2 year olds routine (DH takes care of this one) - read a million books (we try to limit it to 5 to 10, and we just "summarize" quickly - like 3 sentences a book if we can get away with it!), pray, turn on his FP OCean Wonders music he has had since he was a few months old (it hangs nicely on the twin bed). Then say good night and close the door. We do the same routine at nap time.

Our 6 months routine - nurse, kiss, say good night, turn on the new version of the FP Ocean Wonders, and close the door.

Just stick to consistency and build a routine. Kids love routines and thrive when they know what to expect.

Hi C.,

We went through the same thing with my now 3 1/2 year old. We started by having her sleep in her bed for naptime. Then eventually we worked into having her start the night in her bed, knowing she wouldn't stay there all night (she just started sleeping through the night about 2 months ago!) And it all just happened slowly from there. If your intention is to truly make it an untraumatic transition for her, you could try easing her into it in this way. Just try not to have a schedule in the back of your mind.

Some other things that may help is having her pick out her own sheets, having a special night light for her room, etc.

I've also heard that starting with the bed in your room and slowly moving it into hers works too, but we didn't need to go that route.

Good luck!

M.

Our daughter slept with us til she was 7! My husband traveled for work for a few years and I liked her with me when he was gone and he liked her with us when he was home for the week. Now that he's home all the time and she's certainly old enough (enough already!) I paid her an allowance for each night she successfully slept in her bed. Took about 3 weeks to become a habit. All's well now yay!

i made the same mistake and i'm still paying for and my son is six when he wake's up at night it's right to our bed the only thing is put her in her cribb in your room that way she can still see you do that for a couple of week's then put her crib in her room she will probably have to cry herself to sleep in time she will get used to it.

With all due respect C., I think this is one of the biggest mistakes parents make. It seems like a good idea at the time, but all it really is doing is creating a situation that is extremely hard to break. Did your baby sleep at all in her crib? You did this to yourself, good luck.

Well I don't know if you will agree with this or not...but it's just a suggestions. When I got married my then 2 1/2 year old son had slept with me for quite some time. We put him in a twin bed, but the real key was the t.v. and v.c.r. that we put in his room. We let him pick out what movie he wanted to watch (usually Barny) and we would tuck him in and he would watch the movie for maybe 15 minutes and he was asleep. I think some people have to have some kind of noise when they go to sleep. Good Luck! I am getting ready to go through the same situation with our youngest son. He will be 2 in a couple of months and sleeps with my husband and I most of the night. We are going to put him in a twin soon.

Transitt to a small bed next to yours or in your room seperate from your bed. be insistant. Dont give in. She may cry but just assure her your right there and not going anywhere. for a few weeks and then gradually convince her room is for big girls and do big girl things with her in there to get her used to it.

We've not had to cross that bridge yet...our little one is only 6 months. Dr. Sears has a great Baby Sleep Book that gives plenty of suggestions for gently helping your child learn to sleep in their own bed.
Happy Sleeping,
Jennifer

Hi C.,
You may want to check out a book called "The NO-Cry sleep solution". It talks about the family bed and the transition to one's own bed in a gentle approach. I think you will find it helpful!
K.

Our little one is almost 2. She is a horrible co-sleeper. She flails around and we kept ending up with toes and elbows in our eyes and ribs.

We helped her move to her own bed at about 16 months. We bought a full sized futon and put the mattress on the floor. I usually nurse her and then we read books and she will fall asleep, (we usually do this in my bed as that's the habit we are in) then I lay her in her room.

She is still waking up at least once a night, so when she wakes up I go in and help her get back to sleep, if I'm still awake when she falls asleep I go back to my bed, if not I just sleep in her bed until morning.

The futon worked really well for us because she was pretty young and she moves around so much in her sleep. (we thought she'd fall off the bed).

It's a bummer that we have this perfectly good crib that converts to a toddler bed that's only been used a couple times. :(

Good luck, don't forget it doesn't have to be all or nothing.

J.

Hi C.,

Well I haven't allowed my children to sleep in my bed BUT right now I am doing the battle to keep 2 of them in their beds. So the first thing I can tell is that it is all about consistency.
So start by laying her in her bed and tell her night, night and see her in the morning. There are 2 ways to go about it neither of them are enjoyable but here they are:
1) you lay her in her bed tell her goodnight and walk out. Most likely she will follow you, so you again tell her goodnight and put her back in bed, you may do this 20 times, a couple hours who knows.
option 2) You put her in her bed and sit next to her until she falls alseep BUT as you lay with her you start moving closer and closer out the door and 5 minutes sooner then before.
I have done option 2 but the problem we have now is that 1) my 15 month old (she sleeps in a toddler bed) thinks that I now need to be in there sleeping also and if I'm not she comes looking for me and/or lays down in my bed. The other problem I have is that my 3 yr old now thinks I need to sit on her bed until she falls asleep also. They both share a room. At this point I have made it to the hallway and tonight my youngest only got out of bed once. The 3 yr old goes to bed at 9:00 pm and she is currently doing the cry it out method. So no matter which one you pick they won't be easy and it doesn't mean you won't solve one problem and then create another. All I can say is consistency and work toward her sleeping in her bed without you laying down with her in about 1 month, thats what I should of done. Hope this helps you, W.

Hey C.--
Been there done that. At one time we had both of our kids(2 & 3 at the time) crawling into our bed as well as a 75lb Lab. mix. and we were only in a full size bed! Talk about being uncomfortable. One day after my husband and I woke up with foot in his face and an elbow in my rib we decided this just had to change. It took quite awhile for them to finally stay in their own beds but consistenly walking them back to their own rooms finally paid off. We also bought them a cheapy little alarm clock and told them that when it said 7:00 it was okay to get out of bed and come in and wake us up or climb in so we could snuggle and wake up together. Good luck!!!

C.

I would begin talking to her about a new bed because @ 2 it is time to sleep in your own room. Make it rule when you are 2. Then she might accept the move it is not coming from you or your husband but a "2 year old rule" And then make a gradual move one night @ a time. I think she will love having bed of her own. Let her choose the bed spread too. M.

i had the same problem. we made it a big deal about getting the bed and let her pick out her sheets. you'll just have to keep putting her back in the bed and it will take time but well worth getting your bed back.