My oldest was my real nightmare child. She stopped napping and starting climbing out of her crib at 8 months old. I am not kidding. I remember one day she was almost 2, I had buckled her into the high chair (5 point harness) and sat her in front of the TV so I could take a shower. While in the shower I heard my phone ringing incessantly..cell phone, home phone, cell phone, home phone, etc. So I figured something was up I got out of the shower and answered the phone. My neighbor down the block had my daughter and my dog at her house. She managed to unbuckle herself and decided to take my 80 lb dog for a walk. She also climbed out her bedroom window twice. Once was while in her bedroom for a 2 minute time out when she was 2. Timer was set, she has 2 windows in her bedroom, both of them were locked. There is a small window probably 3 feet above her bed which opens to the roof of our garage. When the timer went off, we caught her with her body out and her feet still barely in the room. She had moved a horse to her bed to climb on it and out the window. Second time she was 2 1/2, I had a newborn, I was feeding the newborn about 6 in the morning and afterwards thought that it was extra quiet in her room. Don't know what possessed me to check on her, but she had unlocked the main window which was wide open and goes down 2 stories to concrete. I flipped out assuming she was dead on the concrete and found that she managed to shimmy herself over about a foot out her window onto our back deck. She also would get up at 3-4am and sneak around trying to make grilled cheese, using the stove and all, etc. (at least yours wakes you up!) So, now that you know you aren't alone, here's what we did...
1) Doors are all locked with a hook and eye at the top of the door that they can't reach. Try to do this when he isn't watching you.. the real smart ones figure out soon enough that they can move a chair and put something on the chair to climb on and reach that too, but hopefully by that time you've found him!
2) This includes the bedrooms, once they are in for the night, they are in for the night. I don't have to lock the kids bedrooms anymore...after a month or so of trying to get out, she figured out that she couldn't.
3) I had to nail her windows shut, yes I know it's a fire hazard, but I weighed the odds on chances of fire vs. chances of her climbing out again and nailing the windows won (I have since taken them out, she is now almost 6 and my others wouldn't dream of doing that)
4) My problem with dinner..may be yours too..is that they thought they could take food all day long without asking. So all junk type food (chips, fruit snacks, candy received from birthday parties/holidays, etc.) was either completely removed from the house or locked in my closet where they couldn't get it (still is to this day)
4) These are all physical deterrents, and will help you know that your kids are safe where they belong so you can get some sleep and be less anxious, but you have to work on the mental deterrents also through positive reinforcement. We used sticker charts and rules charts and meal charts.
Sticker chart worked like this:
On a big poster board, write down all the rules that you want him to master on the left hand side. Don't try to work on too many at once, keep your expectations low for that age, and make it so that he can succeed in phase 1. I would start with the biggies..no going outside without an adult/without asking - should be easy enough with the doors locked! maybe add something you don't have a problem with like no hitting, biting, pushing, kicking, etc. or whatever else.
In this period, try to ignore behavior that you haven't made a rule about yet and focus on the behavior that is a rule. Always give positive reinforcement.
In the middle of this chart is where every night he puts a sticker on the rule that he obeyed every day.
On the right side of this chart is a list of prizes he can win when he gets 5 out of 7 stickers for the week or whatever your goal is (eventually work up to perfection!)
Prizes can be anything within your budget and even free.. go to the park, extra story at night with mom, pick out a toy at the dollar store, whatever it is that he is excited with. Make sure your prize isn't something you do every day or stop doing it every day during this period so he only gets it if he makes his goals. So you start by explaining the house rules, make sure he understands, and letting him pick out potential prizes. Follow through is key. You have to go over the rules and do the stickers every night and you have to give him his prizes.
The meal chart is just simple..
Mine says at the top "TIME TO EAT??"
and then I list when it's time to eat..
Breakfast 7a-8a
Lunch 11-12p
Healthy Snack 3p-3:30p
Dinner 5p-6p
When they ask me for food at any other time, I tell them to look at the chart and tell me if they can have it. You will have to explain further to him since he can't tell time yet. But the point is that if they know what the rules are about food, he will stop asking to eat at 3am. And if you eliminate any other snacking times, he will be hungry for dinner. Also make sure you are including him on the dinner preparation/choices. Now we don't want macaroni and cheese every night, but you might want to add another chart about whose choice it is to pick what you are having for dinner so he feels he gets a say. He can pick every Tuesday and Thursday for example, your other son on Monday and Friday, and you pick Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday or whatever. If he picks oatmeal, you have oatmeal (and then you can eat something else after he's fast asleep!)
Hope this helps! I can tell you that it will work eventually and that yelling and spanking don't work at all (we were there too.. it just encouraged her to yell and hit which was another bad habit we had to work through) Good luck!