Help for Getting a 2.5 Year Old to Sleep on Her Own

does she nap on her own? this is a good place to start the seperation, I think. Maybe try going to sleep in Mom & Dad's bed, but then move her once down. . . . and everytime she wakes up, gently take her back to her own bed. This will require patience!
what ever you do will take lots of time and patience as the habits are so ingrained (this means patience with the little girl AND with Mom and Dad).

I wish your inlaws the best,

I was in a similar situation myself about two years ago. I let my first son sleep with us until he was about 2 1/5. Since I was pregnant with my second and didn't want two kids in the bed, I decided that I had to move the first into his own room. I nursed both until a year so I wanted them in bed with me for convenience and comfort as well. Anyway, what I did to get my first in his room was a process. It was hard, but it worked. He cried almost every night, but now at 4 1/5 hasn't tried getting back in bed with us since he was trained. So, first I slept with him in his bed. All night long that first night he fussed because it was different and not what he wanted. Then the second night, I slept on the floor next to his bed. All night he cried and kept getting up to make sure I was still there. The next night I moved close to the door. Then out the door. And eventually, I was back in my bed again. And what I found out worked the best is to take his nap away while I was sleep training him. When he had had a nap, he fought it for hours and hours. But when I took the nap away (and you only have to do this until the child learns to sleep in her own room), he fussed for only a little while since he was so completely exhausted. I hope this help. I learned these tricks on the web myself and hope they work for your family.

I had to train my children, then 3 and 1 to sleep in their own bed. All I did was put them in bed left a light on, tucked them in and kept reasuring them everything was alright. It took about a week, to get them use to the idea, however it worked. Yes they would scream and cry. However its just like a newborn you are tryin to get to sleep on theri own. Let them cry a few mins check on them, go a few more minutes than the time before. ext. They end up wearing them self out. And they realize that it is ok. My older 2 children are now 5 and 3. Some kids just do not sleep through the night till they are ready on their own. Hope this gives you an idea to share with your sister in law.

A baby's brain develops to be able to do REM sleep around 6 weeks old. So, their two and a half year old daughter is capable of sleeping through the night. This next phase for them won't be about whether she can or not. It will be about getting their healthy, respectful limit setting skills up and fully operational. Which is a fabulous journey to go on as a family as families find the wonderful, rich resources that are available =).

Here are some of my favorites on learning the basic structure for healthy limit setting with children which parents can then add their own creativity to. Parenting with Love and Logic is good. I Don't Have to Make Everything All Better by the Lundgrens and Teaching Your Children Responsibility by the Eyres are both winners too. Raising Self-Reliant Children in a Self-Indulgent World by Glenn and Nelson is a must read.

These books are great for helping grownups work though any lingering, negatively experienced, authority-issue challenges from their own childhoods so they can go forward respectfully with their own families.

This has happened to me too.... almost the EXACT same thing. LOL!

What can help to transition her to her own room, is to get her her own bed and room decor which SHE helps pick out.
Then, talk with her and explain that this is her room now, she's a big girl etc.
Let her in turn talk about what she is going through and comfort any worries in her....and it validates them too.
Then, put her to bed in HER room/bed... and have a regular routine, the SAME routine EVERY night... for example: read to her for about 10 minutes, then tuck her in, give a kiss, then (what me & Hubby did) is we sat in her room with her in a big comfy chair, turned off the lights, gave her her own girly flashlight to keep in bed with her, then explained that it's quiet time... no talking or playing etc.
Then, we agreed that we would sit with her in her room to keep her company, until she fell asleep, then we would leave. We ALSO explained to her that we would not scold her and if she was scared or needed us, we were there for her, or she could come and get us.

And yes, as the previous respondent said, it's important to have some kind of ROUTINE and structure pre-bedtime, and for bedtime. Kids need this and so that they "know" what is coming up. My kids have a routine and like a clock, they know it. Also though, your sister-in-laws girl is in the 2's age... so it's naturally and developmentally a hard age.

Routine. This is what helped with my girl and what we did. HOWEVER, since your sister-in-law's daughter is used to co-sleeping with her parents... they need to allow the child room for error and to adjust to the "new" sleep routine. Of course, there are still times, when my girl is afraid of the dark or "monsters" etc. (this is all normal and developmental, they reach an age where night time things scare them and its OKAY). So with this understanding... we let her come to bed with us if she is feeling afraid of the boogey-man or the dark etc. But it is okay with us. We still sometimes all sleep together in the same room, my 22 month old son still in his crib in our room too. But, for the most part.. my girl has matured and is now used to sleeping on her own.

As a baby & toddler, and sometimes even now... my girl has always been very "active" cerebrally, even in sleep, and she even talks in her sleep, and she is bright & noise sensitive. She did not sleep through the night, until just before I had my 2nd child... and she was about 3 years old then. Her brain is just so active and she sometimes has night wakings...but as she's gotten older, she now can automatically go back to sleep without a hitch. Every child is different... I tend not to like "boiler plate" techniques in getting a child to sleep through the night...each child is different and responds to things differently. My firstborn and 2nd child are completely different from each other, and what worked for one, didn't work for the other. MANY children, even at this age, do not sleep through the night. Main thing is that the child is not "scolded" for it or made to feel negative about it.

Sure, it's the "habit" that the child is used to, and what is okay for the Parents. Each family is different. Some families co-sleep, and some don't. But, any sleep routine change is a transition. It won't happen over night. And, it won't be perfect every night. Each child is different and has different needs. ALSO, kids this age can have "night terrors" or "night mares" too... and this can scare them. It's all developmental.

But, getting them used to sleeping in their own room and their own bed, is just another "milestone" and it will happen sooner or later.

I don't sleep train my children, so maybe I can help. I nursed both my kids (8 yr old boy & 4 yr old girl) to sleep until they were 3 yrs, 3 months. That's when I gradually weaned them.

My son was in our bed till he was 2. Then he went to his own room. I used to lie with him to sleep and when he conked out, I went to my own bedroom. If he woke up at 2-3am, I went back and stayed with him (because it was easier on me).

Same thing for my daughter. Except she was MUCH better at "sleeping through the night" than he was. From about 2.5 yrs old, she would quietly walk across the long hall to our bedroom door and knock (typically 5 or 6am) and I would take her hand, walk her back and lie in her twin and both of us would fall asleep. (My son used to wake up screaming hysterical.)

IMO that's the best I can do.

Your SIL can start there. Have the dad continue to lie with her in her own new room, till she sleeps then he can leave. That way she feels the comfort she's always had. If he chooses, he can start to transition out of the room. But she has to LOVE her room/bed first.

I happen to like staying with my daughter till she conks out. I want my children to feel secure at night (no screaming, arguing, crying to sleep, stress hormones flooding their brains and bodies).

My son stopped needing me to cuddle to sleep around age 5-6. Since then I can tuck him into bed, hugs and leave the room! I never thought I'd see the day!

They are not allowed in our bed because DH can't sleep if they are there. So that's why I go to them. When he goes away, if I try to bring my daughter and son into my bed, my daughter wants to go back to her room because she's used to it!!!! So it's possible for her to get used (and miss) her room.

We never co-slept with our kids, but my older (now 5 and 3) we would hold until they fell asleep. We did have a problem when w tried to get them to fall asleep in their own room by themselves. We found that we had to do it gradually. We would put them in their beds and lay or sit on the floor next to it until they fell asleep. Each night we got farther from the bed and closer to the door. There were tears, but unfortunately that happens. It isn't going to be easy and it will probably take at least a month. We didn't want to go through the same thing with our youngest (now 1 1/2) so we had him in his own bed from about 6mo. I would encourage your sister in law to not wait so long to separate from the newest baby. I know it's hard not to snuggle them, but it's worth it in the long run.