Help for Autistic Son Needed!

This is a need that he is going to have. Period. I know that it isn't something you can make him stop. So I suggest you get his IEP team to address this issue and get an aid with him so they can redirect him or give him something to touch that is appropriate. Teaching him how to touch in a good way is okay too.

I had to work with a certain young man that like giving hugs a bit too much, full on frontal hugs with too long of a connection were uncomfortable even for close friends.

I spent training hours with him on side by side hugs, touching the shoulders and grasping a little tiny bit tighter. I worked with him on job skills, household jobs like doing dishes and laundry, writing numbers and basic math skills so he could understand money better, and how to interact with people. I spent about 5 hours a week with him through my job.

He learned over about a year of weekly training hours and to this day he still knows what is acceptable with family hugs, friend hugs, and compassionate touching.

I was an HTS, Habilitation Training Specialist. I worked in a business that served people of all ages with developmental disabilities. I worked in almost every aspect of this career. Aids in the school system probably won't have the training I did and know all the ways of retraining someone so even if he does get an aid to be with him during the day he still needs to work with someone through an agency providing services for developmental disabilities so he can receive specialized services developed just for him.

I would use a goal-oriented approach. Every day a small reward for keeping his hands to himself. Something which will motivate without devastating. Our son has a huge 'resisting temptation' challenge right now (he is NNT, though not spectrum) and we have offered a small surprise after school for each day that he can meet his behavioral goal. These range from small toys/art supplies, a treat, or a privilege (getting to choose his dinner that evening from reasonable choices or getting to choose a video, choose the family game we'll play that evening, etc.)

I'd also look into more social stories about this as well, to continue to support this concept of keeping one's hands to oneself. I think it's typical for us to say 'it's expected behavior, we shouldn't reward the child for doing what they are supposed to'... and I think, for a long time, we thought this was the way to go with our son. There is a lot of research about intrinsic motivation being the best thing going, but for some of our kids, that just doesn't compute. So, think about how well your son does respond to small motivators... for us, we remind him of his goals every day as we walk to school and all he knows is that there is a small surprise at the end of the day in which goals have been met. The nice thing about the 'small surprise' is that he doesn't get into the 'it's worth it/it's not worth it' sort of thinking.

Maybe they can sit the verbal kids around him so they can tell him to cut it out if he gets out of line.

An IEP a.s.a.p.!! I would find a website like this that helps parents with autistic children so you have access to information and support as well. I made a mistake by going into ARD meetings expecting the school to do what was best for my son. Knowing what I know now, do not go to those meetings without someone (another Mama who has mastered it or perhaps an advocate) who knows the ropes inside and out.
If he is in a public school, consider a private or special needs school. 4th grade is killer so act fast.

ADD: Question - has he been evaluated for Sensory Issues or Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD)? The reason I ask is everything you mention is him looking for more sensory input. My son is a sensory seeker - he needs more input than the average kid. Though it doesn't get in the way of his day, he does need more physicality in general.

He wears a compression shirt - you can get at sporting goods store - they're the tight lycra and feel very close- it helps.

Also, he has this cushion- which the school provided - on his seat to help him stay in his seat. It helped him a LOT - he went from standing up several times a day to sitting through the day within 2 days of getting this: http://www.amazon.com/Stability-Cushion-Diameter-Balance-...

If he has sensory issues, there should be sensory care in his IEP as part of his day every day. Get the book The Out of Sync Child to find out more. If he can get sensory input from other places, he may be able to stop looking for it from the wrong places.

ORIGIAL: It sounds like he needs a 1 on 1 aid to help him. And only go the ABA route if they are respectful of the child's needs and it's not more like dog training. There are good ABA practitioners that work WITH children, and not so good ones that basically make kids perform like pets.

There is a facebook page - parenting autistic children with love and acceptance - post your question there.

And Autism Spectrum Explained is a good one (they also have a website - autismspectrumexplained.com - run by sisters - one is autistic, one isn't, but is a special needs nanny/caregiver.

Also feel free to visit my facebook page - autistikids - and look around. There are links to autistic pages and bloggers - you may find a page where you can post this question and get some answers from other parents of autistic children, OR from autistic adults that had this challenge and were able to overcome it.

Please PM me if you like and I'll see what other pages I can find.

ABA Therapy.
https://www.autismspeaks.org/what-autism/treatment/applie...

Does he have a BIP (behavior intervention plan ) at school? If not request a FBA in writing. I'm guessing it's attention seeking behavior. My son use to have similar issues an This helped over time and also set thibgs up do that the school wasn't requesting a more restricted setting - which tends to happen in these situation.

Find social skills groups that will help him learn how and when to engage other kids