M.R.
Our Aspie is 19. Her interests are TV and a computer website where she writes and reads about Narato charachters. She could do this all day, never bathe, eat, watch Myth busters, Animal Planet, the Travel Channel...she would be perfectly happy if she never saw any of us or did anything, as long as she had food. She does enjoy other activites and likes to go to movies, amusment parks, out to eat...but we know several kids who would just assume never leave their homes and who have the screen obsession too.
My advice is that this is a very difficult time, age 11 to the late teens is going to be rough, no matter what you do. Just as soon as you think you have it figured out, it will change. That is kind of the nature of the beast. I do not say this to make you feel bad, but it may get worse before it gets better, and I would really step up seeing his psychiatrist more often, and making sure that you are able to see the psychiatrist as often as he needs too, because we found that she needed a great deal of adjustment durring these years. I would be speaking to the psychiatrist about his mood, most of the Aspies I know will need extensive help with mood in the decade between 10 and 20 years if age, you will see significant improvement.
Cognative behavioral therapy and social skills classes are great too. We did these things on a weekly basis for a long time. Our daughter still has friends from the social skills class, and it may be the first time in his life that he is in a group of kids who all get what he is about. We got lucky. We also found a school that is half kids with ASD and half peers. While we were very excited to have her go to school with peers that would not make fun of her, what we really found was that she finally had a peer group with the kids with ASD. They get it each other in a way that we don't. and they are actually happy and have fun together. It is not what I would call fun, but it is for them, so if you can find some peers with ASD, you may find that he has other interestes too. The good news about it is, you can quit worrying that he will be a lonely hermit who never have friends, because there is a whole community out there that will welcome him, where he is just like every one else. You just have to help him find it. Speech therapists often run these social skills groups, and so do therapists, so start asking around.
As for the behavior, you kind of need to back up. We still cannot do anything long term with our Aspie, she does not have that kind of grasp on the way time passes, and every day is a new world for her. I would make him earn time on his devices. Target the most important behaviors, simple ones that you can say in only a very few words. If you have to explain it, you have lost him. Prove you did all homework...you can play for 60 minutes. No angry tone of voice while getting ready for school...30 minutes. Read a chapter book for 20 minutes...you get the idea. He does not have the freebee taken away when he slips up, he knows exactly what to do to earn what he wants. He won't like it, but if you are consistent, it will work. Rewards, not punishments, and nothing that is not almost imeadiate, they really do not get it that something they did last week is causeing them a problem now.
At the ADDwearhouse they have a device called the Time Machine. You hook it up to electronics, and it takes coins that you dole out and he can have 1/2 hour at a time. That may help.
Tony Atwood is a terrific resource and I like Russel Barkley's tolken econemy too, which is kind of what we use, without the tolkens, because she would just lose them!
I went into her room when she was 12. Took a snow shovel and a trash can, and took everything away. All she had was a bed. She had to earn the things she really wanted back. Getting rid of all the junk she did not care about helped her to organize her thoughts too, and helped her to focus on earning exactly what she wanted.
I wish I had advice on how to make them interested in other things. When they are not, they are not. It is best to go with the flow, because you will be fighting otherwise. They really never give up...unless they want to. Nature of the beast.
Good luck!
M.