Help Dealing with Shy Kiddos

Maybe the best thing is to keep in mind that it's OK for a kid to be shy.
They seem fine after drop off so just keep doing what you're doing.
All kids are different. This isn't something that needs to be "fixed" just accepted. Good luck!

my daughter is shy the only thing that helped, is a drop and run, tell them to say goodbye and hug and kiss in the car and drop and run=) the longer they stand there feeling bad the more upset the shy kids get
she used to cry when i dropped her off when she was 3 and they mentioned she didnt cry when my ex dropped her off at all...he would send her in and say goodbye because he was late...big diference from M. babying her

I agree with the others ... make sure the drop off is quick. I was very shy as a child, so I relate to these children. One thought is to maybe give them a task when they come in: "Billy, can you set up the paints at the table?" "Ethan, can you find the box of Legos?" If they're focused on a task, that might make the transition easier.

Don't take any of it personally. Shyness is about them, not you. I was very shy and rarely talked in class, but loved every minute in school.

I have a shy daughter. Over the years she has gotten better but don't take it personally. My daughter LOVED her 1st grade teacher last year. However, towards the end of the school year we saw her at a grocery store outside of school and my daughter hid behind me. She gets embarrassed and scared and shy easily.

The only thing I could think to do is to have your parents do a quick drop off without a long goodbye. Perhaps even get into a routine drop off. For my daughter she clung super bad the first few days where the teacher had to peel her off (this was in preschool) But I made the goodbyes quick. Eventually we got into a routine where I would check her in, help her put away her coat and book bag in her cubby, walk her to the carpet. Then hug and kiss goodbye. However, she would not allow me to miss any of this routine...so as long as we kept it the same it was good.

So keep the goodbyes short & sweet
And stick to a routine check out

I dont agree that this is a 'shy' thing. My son did this at the same age and was not shy in any other way. I think it was just a separation thing and it turned out to be a phase that completely just stopped at 4.5 I think you guys might be making too much out of it and he is enjoying this extra attention. HAve the fathers ever taken them? This works for many in this situation to prove it is a thing with their moms. They love the concern and attention that they know they will receive.

In these situations, I try not to talk about the situation in front of the child, nor to label the child as 'shy' in front of them.

Do not take it personally.... this is about them, not you. (I say this as a preschool teacher myself as I've seen a lot of child/parental anxiety around separation and transitions. )

What I did was to help the parent by having the hand-off happen right at the door. I'd walk out, take the child's hand, say 'goodbye' for the child, if need be, and then walk them in. At that point, I would invite them/point them toward something interesting, much like you are doing. If they didn't want to participate, I allowed them some 'warm up' time and let them either sit in a safe place where they could look at books or to work at their area with a small, fine motor activity (crayons and paper, play-dough)-- whatever works in harmony with your classroom routine. AND at that point, I stopped coaxing, just made myself available.

Looking through the NAEYC handbook on developmentally appropriate practice, they suggest that children this age should not be forced to join the group/circle activities, so do allow them to sit out, but it is fine to insist that their individual activities should not distract from what's happening at circle/gathering. I would not give *extra* attention to a child who is choosing to withdraw, because then we accidentally give validation/encourage the behavior. (now we are confirming they might have a reason for their apprehension.) Just give a friendly smile or wink directly at them when the do join in the group, and say no more about it. This non-verbal show of pleasure that they are coming into the group should be positive message enough.

And never, ever ask the child 'why' they are having this challenge. They likely don't know, and will only be further discouraged--both because you will be confirming to them that 'something's wrong' and because kids of all ages have a harder time understanding their deeper worries/motives. Their not having an answer will further add to their sense of self-doubt. We want them to believe WE are confident that they will get comfortable at school and get past this.

I don't know if you are just starting this pre-K group, but do remember that it takes about a month or so for kids to transition. Remind the parents that their children need lots of sleep the night before and a good breakfast. These two things may or may not factor into the child's mood, but they are always essential to a child's ability to participate and enjoy their day at school.

I'm wondering if you incoportated some sort of surpise in to your daily routine, something they looked forward too. like mention the class before that they next time they come you'll be reading a book and the book has to do with a machine that is Yellow and they can guess if it's a bull dozer or a submarine or what ever. But that could back fire if they hate bulldozers.

Also having them responsible for a job they LOVE to do every day right when they come in will help. Do you have a class pet? maybe not feeding it but greeting the pet.

get the grown up on board with a calm morning routine ( plus lots of sleep) and a quick but loving, good bye.

Have you read the kissing hand? books might make it better or might let them indulge their sad feelings even more, you kind of have to play that one by ear.

do the kids know about your likes and dislikes, if he knows you ride a motorcycle to school some days he might be really thrilled and start warming up. lol not that you have to go get a hog, just saying make a connection.

I bet you are doing everything right, already but it is a real problem because i'm sure the parents feel the childl's tension and that can make everyone worked up.

Judge the success of your day by how excited they are to tell mom and dad about it.

Some kids are just like this. Don't take it personally... new situations and transitions can be hard for different reasons and the fact that they are fine after a few minutes once the parents leave and don't want to leave at the end of the day is a sign that you're doing a good job with them.

My daughter was like this in kindergarten and my recommendation is to meet them at the door for the handoff. It sounds impersonal and mean, but it's really better. The parents can give a quick kiss and hug at the door and say, see you at the end of the day and in the classroom they go. Quick transition and no drawn out drop off in the class. Then try to engage them in what you're doing or (if they aren't ready to participate) allow them to get used to class how they need to (reading a book, playing with legos, or anything that isn't disruptive to what the rest of the class is doing). Ask the parents to give it a try and see if it's better. It's probably more about the dynamic with the parents and the personality of the kids than anything to do with you or your school.

Good luck!