Help! Daughter Will Not Listen to Me

Seriously, I know it sounds harsh, but you have got to be the parent. I'm in your same boat. My 2.5 year old would rule the roost if I let her. And I am in a constant power struggle with her. But at the end of it all, I am the Mom and she is the child and what I say goes. Trust me, if you don't get it under control now, it will only get harder as she gets older.

Make sure you are spending quality one on one time with her during the day. I notice that my daughter acts out the most when I too focused on my daily tasks and I haven't given her some undivided attention. At least 30 minutes of sold straight through Mommy time usually cures any outbursts that arise during the day. It's a great time to read some books, do an art project, go for a walk, or just let her talk...even if you can't understand her. You know how girls are. ;-) We need to express ourselves and we need EYE CONTACT.

Good luck!!

Boy oh boy has she got you trained!
Are you going to let a 2.5 year old tell YOU what to do?
Be the parent.

stand your ground!

repeat after me.. the 2 year old will not win!!

don't give in!

Don't give in...no matter what! If she learned that crying will get her what she wants, then the behavior will never change and will most likely get worse. You have to be consistent and make sure there are appropriate consequences for unacceptable behavior and stick with it. And if she is going to cry and cry, then just let her. The last thing you should do is give in to crying or bad behavior. Time outs worked for us at that age, or immediately taking action, like taking a toy away if she threw it.

Just make sure she knows the consequence...i.e., go get your shoes on or you'll have to take a time out...I'm going to count down from 5 (counting backwards always got a better reaction for us - I don't know why) if I get to zero and you haven't started getting your shoes on you're going to have to stand in the corner for a time out. And then follow through. There's is nothing worse than saying you're going to get a time out, or you're going to be in big trouble, etc. and then not following through.

Stand firm now and you will eventually get to a point where you won't have to even threaten time out because she'll know that when you ask her to do something, you mean it.

Of course, when she is a good listener make a big deal about it.

Good luck!

Your 2 year old needs to understand that you are the mommy. You are in charge, not her. The only way my children learned this is when "Mr. Paddle" came out and gave their behind a little visit.
Sounds like you may want to give this a try. Believe it or not your daughter will love you for it. Children thrive when the parent is in charge and loves them enough to do what it takes.

I'm right there with you. I've a 2-1/2-year-old daughter, who has started to get quite defiant. I got so tired of time-outs and punishments that I started a sticker chart. Now there are specific things that she can do to earn her stickers. So many stickers in a week earn her a special treat, which is a carousel ride for us. First week worked really well. The second week is this week and it's not as great. But, my husband has been out of town for the past 5 days and she's always worse in his absence. I still have high hopes. Basically, I'm trying to reward just as much, if not more, than punish. Seemed like we were getting into such a rotten cycle. Good luck!

Now is the time to set the boundaries and be perfectly clear every time about them. I also think it's good to acknowledge she's upset AND still stand your ground. Something like,"I see you are upset and the answer is still no. When you are done with being upset, then we can play again." Then leave her alone with her upset self and she'll come around sooner than you think. When she does, let her know you are glad she's back and you love her. This works very well if you are consistent, but terrible if you are not. It takes a little time, but you'll be glad you did. (Threes can be just as bad if not worse!!!)

You also may want to find ways to give her some choices (forced choices.) For example, offer cereal or oatmeal fro breakfast NOT ask her what she wants for breakfast. This gives her the feeling of empowerment without giving her anything and everything. Part of the "2's" is about feeling empowered and independent, so it helps to find ways to allow her that yet you still maintain ultimate control.