Help at My New Career!

Yea, this is one of those "ti's not you, it's me" situations, and she should be saying it. I think she is to blame. HER work wasn't done right, so she is looking to deflect the blame off of her, you got it this time. Next time it will be someone else.

I'm all for getting along with the people you work with, but I also don't try to be best friends with anyone. This is my first job where I have not connected with people outside of work to hang out, and I'm MUCH happier. My personal life is my own and no drama follows me in the door.

So my point is that I would not ask her to lunch and try to be her friend, I would just keep it casual and friendly in the office. If she can't handle it, maybe she isn't ready for a big girl job yet.

Don't assume it's you. It may very well be her.

We have one employee who we have told multiple times "If you're overwhelmed or need help, just ask and someone will assist you". She continues to squirrel away unfinished work and hide errors. I told my boss four years ago he should let her go or, at the very least, reduce her title and her hours, but for a variety of reasons he keeps her on. She has made some costly mistakes. Drives me crazy.

Continue to act professional but don't go out of your way to cater to her.

I work with a group of all women too, and at my office someone is always blowing up at someone. It is very stressful. Maybe this girl was upset at the thought of the 'new girl' checking her work. This is her issue, not yours. I would not ask her to lunch right now. I would wait until the situation calms down a bit. Then I would steer clear of her. She sounds like a trouble maker. Especially if she blew up at you instead of talking to you calmly. That says a lot about her. Good luck.

Personally, I would allow her a little time to cool off and see what her intentions are before you approach her.

I would carry on as usual, say good morning to her and talk or assist her as you normally do.

All woman in one office is almost always difficult. Hopefully, she will get over her ill feelings, then the two of you can have lunch or break together.

Just my thoughts.

There's always one person like that... the person that causes drama & blows things out of proportion, trying to make everyone else look bad, just to mask the fact that they're kind of a crappy employee. I would still be nice, but I wouldn't try to be BFFs with her.

You share something personal about yourself. It should be humble or self-deprecating. And it should show empathy for her position.

(just like making friends!) :)

"ya know, when I was in my early 20s, there weren't many offices that had a majority of women. I remember a misunderstanding I had.....blah blah blah. But I think you made a good point yesterday. We can all be a little more approachable. So I just wanted to let you know that I thought you had a good point."

Mom:

It's NOT you. It's HER. She took offense to her work being checked. So instead of accepting that she MIGHT be wrong or that someone asked you to do it - she has to put blame on someone else and that someone else is you.

If, in the future, someone asks you to double check something or a list - go to the person who is doing the job and say "Lisa - John asked me to double check this list as there was a mix up in the past. Let me know when you are done so I can do what was asked of me."

Going to lunch might be a good idea. I don't know...it's not about becoming "closer" as to understanding the way she works, etc. she might not know how to communicate with you...so this might give you both an opportunity to understand that. You do NOT need to be "close" in a work environment - professional and friendly is always great!!!

So when you approach her today or tomorrow for lunch - say "Lisa - I think that things got a tad confused yesterday. Would you like to join me for lunch so that we can learn more about each other to avoid this problem in the future?"

I would not change yourself yet..... just go on, let her settle down and then next week ask her to lunch. smile

Hi Mom of 4,
It sounds like you are an approachable co-worker and someone that cares about relationships.

I admire your invitation to go out with that coworker to clear the air.

I would be yourself and be honest. I would take a deep breath and share how much you want a good cooperative relationship, so it is good for the company and good for their careers. i would then ask openly how she thinks you can help them together work more fruitfully. How would she want you to approach her? and so forth. Honestly and openly. without criticism and judgement.

good luck. i am sure you guys will make an awesome team.
jilly

Updated

Hi Mom of 4,
It sounds like you are an approachable co-worker and someone that cares about relationships.

I admire your invitation to go out with that coworker to clear the air.

I would be yourself and be honest. I would take a deep breath and share how much you want a good cooperative relationship, so it is good for the company and good for their careers. i would then ask openly how she thinks you can help them together work more fruitfully. How would she want you to approach her? and so forth. Honestly and openly. without criticism and judgement.

good luck. i am sure you guys will make an awesome team.
jilly

I think she is just making excuses.