Help/Advice About My 20 Month Old Sleeping....

A good place to start with parenting issues is a wonderful DVD by Barbara Coloroso--Winning at Parenting--Without Beating Your Kids.

I know it is rather late in the game to try and put your 20 month old to sleep but this worked from the very beginning for mine.When we got up we did our little things during the day and when she was really tired I kept her up and played until she was tired and hungry I fed her gave her a bath and she went right to sleep

Well, first you have to stop taking her to your bed to help her get to sleep at night. It may take a couple of hours of her screaming & crying, but don't give in. It will take anywhere from 3 to 6 nights of this, but eventually she will get the picture that you are not going to bring her into your bed. Don't cave in or you will have to start all over & it will take even longer. As far as the nap, she may be ready to give it up. My daughter gave up her nap at 22 months. It's hard to tell until you fix the night time sleeping issue.

It seems your little precious is spoiled to sleeping with you and your husband. Since you are a stay at home mom, try not putting her down for her naps and find something constructive for her to get into even while you work. Unless she falls to sleep on her own if she doesn't get the nap, when bedtime comes she will be so tired that when you put her down for the nite, she won't be able to fight sleep.

I think kids can be psychological enough to get what they want and what she wants is the comfort of her parent's bed. See what happens if you don't make her take a nap. One thing I have learned is that kids don't want to miss nothing and unless you make them go to sleep (nap) they will stay awake forever. You may need her to take a nap but if you find something to keep her confined but busy (childrens t.v. programs, movies, or interesting toy activity) while you do your chores, she will stay active. After dinner, she will be zonked.

Just try it for about 1 week and see what happens.

I have a 20 month old daughter as well, and have had the same problems with her. Have you checked to see if she's getting in any new teeth? I know when my daughter is teething, she cries her head off when I lay her down for naps or diaper changes. I would NOT bring her in your bed to fall asleep as you'll be setting yourself up for more problems as she'll get into the habit of sleeping with you. Here's some things that work with my daughter, I put in different "babies" in her bed to sleep with, a new book, one of my old t-shirts is very comforting to her. I know it is really hard to hear them crying, so I go in every couple minutes to assure my daughter I'm there for her and gradually increase the time your going in & she will get the idea & fall asleep. This has passed with my daughter, and she's acting a lot better. I'm convinced its a phase & you just need to ride it out. Good luck!

She knows that you will eventually take her into your bed. The only cure for this is not to go into her room at all and let her cry as long as she needs to cry. It usually takes a few days but then they learn to fall back to sleep without expecting to get into mommy and daddy's bed. good luck.

ummm you aren't a lone. My 2 year old did and does the same thing. Sometimes the only way to get him to calm down and go to sleep is to take him in our room. I thought it was because we had a baby but now I am just thinking it might be one of those things at that age. It does get better and then you will have worse days but hang in there...

I have one son and thank god he's 14 now. I went through the same thing. My son never took naps during the day and there was no such thing as laying him down at night to go to sleep. I never rested or could get any work down because he never went to sleep during the day. I worked from home and rocked him in his basket with one foot while one hand held the phone and the other was on the computer. I sat him in the bathroom with me while i used it and took a bath. He would not go to sleep at night either. He was a very tall baby and he was almost two feet tall at birth and one day climbed out the baby bed and fell on the floor and i thought for sure he'd broken his back, needless to say i took down the baby bed because it had already been lowered as far as it could go and he would climb and i bought him a regular twin bed and put the railings on the side so he would not fall to the floor and i put the child gate across his bedroom door so he would'nt climb down and come out the room. He would cry, yell and scream while standing at the gate. He would not stop crying he went on for almost an hour until my husband and i could not take it. Then he became smart enough to climb over the gate and then i would hear the little fast running feet all the way to our bedroom. He also did not sleep in preschool when the other children slept. The teachers told me he always would keep the other children awake and he never went to sleep he just laid on his cot until nap time was over. I got no relief the first year of his life and then my mother in law moved in with us and he began sleeping with her because she couldn't stand the crying and she would get him and put him in bed with her. He slept with her every night until she moved away and he was seven years old. It was still very difficult transitioning him to his own bedroom even at seven. We have an extremely large home and his bedroom was on the second floor and the master bedroom was on the third floor. So after mother in law left we let him sleep on the futon in our room for four months and told him as soon as he reached eight he must sleep alone in his own room. He stuck to the agreement and began sleeping in his room by himself the night of his eighth birthday. Now that didn't include nights when there was thunder and lightning because he'd still ease into our bed until at least 10 years old. My aunt told me that its not written anywhere that kids have to take naps you know. So good luck.

I'm glad that you found something that works for you all. In case the situation changes again, or in case you'd like more info, here is another resource...

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp

Best wishes,
J.

I found "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley- there's one for babies and one for toddlers/preschoolers. It helps you make your own personalized plan for addressing lots of different sleep issues. It does not involve letting your little one "cry it out," which means that it takes some extra time while you shape your little one's behavior. I'm on day 13 of implementing some of the strategies with my 13 month old, and we have had BIG improvements in her sleep (although still some work to do), and she has not had to cry it out. Good Luck!

Maybe it is time to cut the nap. My son as done with naps by the time he was 2 years old. Some children do not need all the sleep during the day. It helps them sleep better at night when they don't nap.
I learned that when my son wanted a nap he would just lay down in bed or on the couch and take a nap. He did not need to be told it is time for a nap.

S.