Help - Sarasota,FL

Dear Jodi,

My two year old daughter did not like her school for the first few months and wouldn't tell me why. Finally, she admitted that it was too loud with all the other children and she felt sad there. I made her finish the rest of the school year but switched her school this year to a monitorssi environment. She loves school now and has not asked one time to stay home. She is happy when I drop her off and happy when I pick her up. Maybe you could consider switching schools? Or a nanny if you could afford it for a few months?

Can you volunteer in her class to see what is going on?

My son did this too in kindergarten. He didn't want to get out of the car, cried when I left after volunteering, didn't want to go to aftercare. When he started first grade, he changed 180 degrees. He jumped out of the car, didn't want me volunteering any longer, and didn't mind aftercare. I'm not sure why he changed. Perhaps next year will be different for your daughter.

I'm curious what her teacher thinks.

oh man! my daughter did this to me at this time of year in kindergarten. the teacher and i could NOT figure out what it was! on the LAST DAY of school they had to literally RIP her from the car at drop off. i spent time with her inschool, she had friends...noone knew why she was reacting like this. I think it was just a hard adjustment for her, and after a few months the novelty of school had worn off and she just wanted to be home with mommy. please be patient and firm ith her, make sure there is nothign happening at schoool. good luck!

Try visiting the school ands seeing what is going on. I don't really think it is seperation after all this time. It could be antother child picking on her. She may just not like the teacher. But if you give in and don't make her go then you are losing the battle and it will be twice as hard next year.

Hi, I just read your post and my heart goes out to you. That is really a tough situation that you are in and I am sure that it breaks your heart that she is unhappy. I am curious about some things. My daughter just started school this year as well, she is in Kindergarten at Lithia Springs Elementary in Valrico, FL. Do you live in the area? What school does your daughter attend? I am my daughter's classroom mom, so I see firsthand what goes on in the classroom from day to day. We've been blessed - we got an absolutely awesome teacher and my daughter LOVES to go to school. It's not always easy to get her there because she is NOT a morning person at all. But, once we get there, she hops out of the car as happy as can be and goes to class without even looking back at me. Even in preschool she was very easy to drop off and loved going to school. I was very involved in preschool as well - class mom and volunteered as much as I could. I see that you have 4 kids, so that may be hard for you to do. I only have one, my little girl, so I have made it a priority to volunteer at school as much as possible.
Why is she being held back to repeat Kindergarten - is it due to social issues or has she had trouble learning as a result of the problems she is having adjusting? Could summer school get her on to first grade? I would definitley make her finish out the school year so she doesn't think she can do the same thing next year and get away with it. Those routines are so important to establish and stick to. I sent my daughter to summer school the summer between her last year of preschool and her Kindergarten year to a Kindergarten readiness program offered by the school just to keep her in the routine and get her really ready for big girl school. She loved it and I really think it helped her with being ready for Kindergarten and made her more comfortable with the expreience. By the time she started Kindergarten, she had two years of pre-school (not a daycare facility) and a summer of pre-K -- I really think that made all the difference because she is really a mama's girl. That is the only time we've ever been apart. And still, she loves school, learning and has been truly reading since just after Christmas break. Her whole class is on or above level. I would really take some of the other mom's suggestions and look into the school and the teacher and see what problems may be going on that you are not aware of and your daughter hasn't told you about. Good luck!

I would go there for a day. Hang out and get to know some of the kids. If you let the teacher know, maybe she can organize a project for you to help with while you're there.(learning games with small groups, etc.) There might be something going on. Maybe nothing bad, but she could be excluded in some way that hurts her feelings, like at PE- who knows... you don't know and can't find out if you don't go there. Also, I used to eat lunch w/ mine once a week at the table with the other kids. It helps to observe and then talk about the experience later. You also get a clue on what they are learning and from whom.

Yes, make her complete the remainder of the year. Stick to your guns... if you give in and don't make her finish the year she will think she can manipulate you to let her stay home next year too. Making the situation worse.

Spend time with her when she comes home and just talk about her day. I used to do this with my daughter and I found out all kinds of things. Most of the time we would lay down and rest together and she would just open up and start talking.

Good Luck

(could be anything, makeing her be like that.) maybe you can talk to her teacher, and see if she has noticed any reasons why. and maybe changing to another school could help? T., mom of toddler son.

Hi, I found really great help at ChildrensBehaviorHelp.com
They are wonderful!
Best of luck, Kia

Before children, I was a school counselor and there could be a number of things going.
Is she repeating next year b/c she hasn't made the academic gains? If so, she is probably frustrated b/c she knows she's behind and feeling stressed b/c of the work she is expected to do. I had students who went through this and the teacher and I worked together to find the child an older student who could serve as a mentor/tutor in the classroom a few times a week.

Another thing that may be causing it is if someone is bullying her.Could be another student in her class even.

I'm not sure what schools she's at but there should be a school counselor there. I would reach out to the counselor and see if he/she can help. They can spend more time observing in the classroom than you since you are working FT right now and may be able to figure it out. Or just being a "big friend" to your daughter, she may be more able to express what's going on.

Good luck