Help! 3.5 YO Son Learned How to Get Out of His Carseat!

Updated on July 09, 2010
K.J. asks from Westmont, IL
7 answers

We have an Evenflo Triumph XL that has been AWESOME for us, until yesterday when my son figured out how to open BOTH the chest clip AND the buckle! He got out of his carseat twice as I drove on the expressway. As if that weren't dangerous enough already, our car does not have child-safety locks on the doors, and he knows how to open the doors as well.

How the heck do I handle this? He's the type of kid that will try even more if I make it a big issue, so so far the only solution I can think of is to pull over every time he does it. I'm especially fearful because next month we'll be making a 7 hour car trip, so I know if this isn't nipped in the bud he'll be trying to Houdini it the whole time. Any ideas, mamas? Products-discipline-home fixes??

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P.M.

answers from Portland on

I think you're doing the best thing. Pull over every time, and plan extra time into your trips until he's got the message.

I'm not sure what you mean by making it a "big issue." Heavy discipline? Talking it through?

If it's punishment that makes him more defiant, try emotion coaching or empathetic parenting. You can google these terms for instant gratification, or get the practical book How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Kids Will Talk. These techniques work, and you'll reach for this book often.

This approach teaches you how to give your child an opportunity to apply his own understanding to find appropriate solutions (yes, kids can do this, and will, when given the chance!). And it's NOT lenient parenting – you can also learn how to present your own needs and limits most effectively.

Good luck and happy parenting.

4 moms found this helpful
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T.W.

answers from Denver on

My first boy did this too. It is very scary. We stopped every time he did it which helped after a while. I also did a reward system for every time we went on a trip and he didn't undo his belt. I was sure to try to take a quick 5 to 10 minute trip a few times a day to reinforce the reward. I considered getting another car seat but was certain he would eventually figure out how to undo that one too. Ultimately the reward system worked and he quit getting out of the seat. Hope this helps.

Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful
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K.E.

answers from Denver on

How scary. At 3.5 he is old enough for understanding consequences. Explain why its important and how dangerous it can be for him not to be safe in the car. I understand about having a child that loves to get reactions, but he needs to know you will not mess around. Your doing the right thing by pulling over. Find out what he values most as a privilege at home and take it away. Maybe try to have a special toy just for the car, but he only gets it when he stays buckled. If you have to pull over he loses it for the rest of the the ride. You could also try a reward system if he stays buckled he can earn a treat of some kind. Good luck.

2 moms found this helpful
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K.C.

answers from Wichita on

Definitly pull over & maybe you need to try another carseat. I have a Graco Nautilus 3 in 1 carseat & my 4.5 y/o can't get it open yet. He can do the chest clip, but the main buckle can even be difficult for me to open. You could take him with you to see which ones he can & can't open. It could be much longer that a 7 hr. trip if he keeps getting out.
Remind him that it is very dangerous to ride without being buckled.

God bless!

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M.O.

answers from Chicago on

I think at 3.5 he's old enough to understand NO. This is not optional. He just can't do it. If he does, don't take him anywhere unless absolutely necessary. And let him "earn" trips to the grocery store to pick out a cereal if he's behaving.

I agree with the prior posts, but I think discipline is required here. This is a safety issue. When it comes to cars, running off, etc. I think you just need to be "mean mom" and not deal with ANY ill behavior. Get Dad involved...let him help lay down the law about this issue. IT'S NOT OK. Period.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Have you explained to him that its the "law" that he be buckled in? And its for safety? And if a Policeman stops you, you can get a ticket?
That is what we did to our son, when he did that. He was about 2.5 and would unlatch himself. He thought it was funny.
We explained the 'rules' and the 'laws' an then he understood.
He does not do that anymore.

all the best,
Susan

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A.P.

answers from Houston on

Wow. My 6 year old can't get out of the Sunshine Radian80. Maybe try a new carseat?

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