I have a 3 1/2 month old son, and at 1 month he stopped nursing, and would only eat from a bottle. He would nurse at night though when he slept with me in bed. But last night he wouldnt nurse at all! He turns his head and screams like a girl in a horror movie for as long as I try to get him to eat. He turns his head away and starts grabbing and scratching at his head and face. His pediatrician says its just a phase, and as long as he is growing fine, not to worry. Hahahah... I am a mom with an infant that violently opposes nursing, and you want me to not worry.... Is this just a phase? Or is there something I can do to help. I have tried different positions, different rooms, different lighting, tried to get it as dark as it was at night when he would nurse. Tried right when he woke up from naps simulating when he would nurse at night... My husband thinks its funny and says that he is afraid of my breast because they are so big... he has even tried covering his eyes, so he cant see what he is eating from, but just makes it worse. I am very tired of pumping every hour or two and constantly washing bottles and pumps. It also seems that when he did nurse during the day that he swallowed a lot of air somehow. He was latched on properly, but breathes very differently than when he eats from the bottle. DOnt know if this would matter, but he is a VERY big boy. He was over 11 lbs when he was born and is now 18 pounds, but not fat. I was not diabetic, but he had low blood sugar when he was born, and delivery was via emegency c-section. They started him on formula immediately. Before i was even out of the operating room he had several ounces with dad feeding him, and then they took him to the NICU for a few hours to continuously check his blood sugar till it was normal. He was very colicky for the fist month when i started brestfeeding, but is much better when he eats from bottle. Doesnt that seem backwards? Any ideas would be greatly appreciated!!!
Please, please, please contact La Leche League! They CAN help you with this problem. You can attend a meeting and connect with a leader who will be available to call throughout this time. This is exactly what they are for.
###-###-#### help line
www.lllofaz.org for local meeting information
Blessings~
Hi Kristine
The first thought that came to me was perhaps your little one was having difficulty breathing while he nursed. That would disuade anyone from wanting to partake. When I nursed my little ones I absolutely had to pull some of my breast away from baby's face otherwise he'd smother. I saw so many other mothers nursing hands free--but I couldn't. When I tried different positions, baby just pulled away and became extremely agitated, like your child. Ended up nursing first child for 12 months, then weaning. I know my suggestion seems too simple, but take a second look at him when he latches on and be patient, if you're upset or nervous that carries over to him. Good Luck! M. F.
Kristine, you probably have had lots of advice by now, but I know how frustrating nursing problems can be and how great it is when it works! I have 3 boys that I nursed with different experiences each time. I would get a lactation expert (are you in tucson?) to see you nurse. They have seen it all and can be very resourceful, though sometimes the problem works out without following any advice. my 3rd son was smacking his lips making things very sore and slow to feed. He got over it, but it was painful and stressful for a few weeks. one of the positions that I had luck with was lying down so that the breast does not "lean on" him. the lactation consultant was always telling me to hold my breast while nursing. it is much easier to get the milk from the bottle so your little guy could just be too smart or a little lazy:) They had me buy special bottles that were like the breast and took a harder to suck from. I can't remember the name, I got them from Babies are us. my thoughts were to make it the same effort to take make either way to facilitate your nursing. Your stress is hard to mask while trying to feed and this might make it harder for him to feed. when I pumped for my first son when I worked, I had to use relaxing music and really focus to get this done. Good luck and you are doing something so great for your son! A.
Kristine,
I ran your question past my friend who is a chiropractor, mom of three and natural childbirth educator like myself -- and this was her idea:
"Could be that it's his TMJ [temperomandibular joint dysfunction]. I've seen MANY babies with jaws misaligned, less than a true dislocation where nursing is difficult and less effective than just taking it from a bottle. Especially with a C-section or any delivery where the OB uses the head as a handle, there frequently can be jaw issues. Not that the bottle at birth helped the situation. What does LLL call that? Nipple preference...rather than what they use to call it - nipple confusion. It's not a phase - there IS something wrong - moms know."
So, trust your instincts. It's likley NOT a "phase" or that there is anything about your breast or milk that is putting him off -- it is more likely an imbalance in his jaw that can be easily corrected (TMJ rebalancing or an actual adjustment) by a chiropractor who specializes in this. After getting that taken care of (and possibly even before), I would also recommend you slow down on giving him the bottle as a concession to his objections (but keep pumping until you can sort this out) and let him get hungrier and let him know the breast is how he's going to get his food. The docs and nurses have set you up for failure by introducing a bottle at birth (which, by the way, was totally unnecessary even with his blood sugar issues, which is a whole other story....), but that doesn't mean you have to give in to this. You CAN turn it around with persistence and getting the right help. Going to a chiropractor would be the very first thing I'd try.
S.
Hello,
I'm not sure of the answer to your problem, but I know someone who can help. It sounds like your baby got used to the bottle. I would call Doris, she's a lactation consultant that knows EVERYTHING about breastfeeding. If I had to guess I would say Doris may tell you to stop feeding from a bottle, your son will have no choice but to nurse (of course coupled with Doris' advice on a correct latch - for certain). I've heard of people that are told they have a good latch, have problems, but I recommend Doris and problem solved. Her number is on her website at: pump-n-go.com
Tell her L. sent you. She has a wonderful mom's group as well. Good luck, let me know how it goes! ~L.
____@____.com
I know it is a pain to pump, but if he is not taking to breast feeding it might be for several different reasons. First my son wouldn't nurse, tried but he would be so exhausted after 2-3 sucks, that he would fall asleep. Turns out his tongue wasn't strong enough and the bottle was easier for him to get milk out. It could also be that your breast are so engourge w/ milk that he is haveing a difficult time staying properly try expressing some milk before you nurse him. Lastly try filling a bottle with just a little of your milk, but be ready to switch him to a breast befor he is done. It may take several attempts, but he will eat when he is hungry.
Good Luck
C.
Hi Kristine,
I had an issue with breastfeeding my then 10-month-old when he had a cold. His nose was pretty blocked and he had trouble breathing when he was latched on. He'd try, then after a few seconds he'd let go and start to cry, and since he was teething at the time he would bite my nipple instead! Ow! I really wanted to keep breastfeeding him so I pumped and fed him with a sippy-cup for a week, until his nose cleared a bit and the biting stopped. He'd usually breastfeed OK at night, I think partly because one nostril would be clear, having drained down. Anyway, after that week he went back to breastfeeding with great gusto. It doesn't sound that similar to your situation, but perhaps you'll find something useful in that story! I hope so. Good luck, great job and well done for working so hard at the breastfeeding!
Wow Kristine! All I can say is it's a good thing you work from home. You have the time to be with your children and work out these types of issues. Your child has probably become accustomed to the nipple on the bottle which is a complete different shape than your breast. I had to stop breastfeeding both of my children because they were so colicky. Come to find out, many years later, they had a lot of allergies which became asthma for one of them. The thing that really changed their health outlook was switching my entire household to non-toxic eco-friendly brands. Both of my sons allergies have diminished to the point of not needing meds and inhalers. It's all but disappeared and that's a good thing.
Hi Kristine,
Wow, your situation sounds very similar to what I went through. My baby was given formula in the hospital ( against my requests) and would not nurse after that. I pumped around the clock (she loved drinking bm from bottles) for the first 3 months. I saw multiple lactation consultants, tried advice from books, and asked other moms for advice. One lactation consultant that I saw fitted me with a nipple shield ( they are available at Target, Babies R us, & breastfeeding supply stores), and it has worked wonders for us! They are not meant for long term use, but my daughter is now 10 months old and nurses with the nipple shield on 5 times a day and is happy & healthy. Best of luck to you- keep up with it!
It sounds like you might benefit from seeing a good lactation consultant. Peds don't know much about breastfeeding in general and you do need someone to help you find an answer. Possible trush? I would call. Lori Isenstadt at ###-###-####. Very knowledgable, would be worth the trip. good luck,
P.
A few ideas:
1. Since this is a very new problem, I agree with the mom who said the check for a stuffy nose.
2. It's much easier to nurse from a bottle than a breast, and your son is stubborn enough to insist on the bottle. You CAN teach him to suck correctly again. La Leche League will be able to show you how.
3. What could be on your skin that smells and/or tastes bad to your son? Check the following things: Soap, bath oil, moisturizer, powder, laundry detergent, fabric softener/dryer sheets and new bedding, towels and clothing, particularly bras, that might have manufacturing residues on them (even if you've washed them once or twice.)
Just a thought....my 3 1/2 mo old grabs his ears and often refuses a breast. He got two teeth this weekend. I think the ear grabbing was his teeth moving and coming in. (He's been grabbing at them for about two weeks now.) I thought for sure he had an ear infection. Be patient and just keep offering the breast first. Good luck!
I know you said you have tried different positions but have you tried feeding him while he is lying on the floor next to you (each of you on your side). That way you can be more relaxed and he doesn't sense the stress in you.You can also talk to him and distract him and he doesn't feel cramped. All 3 of my kids would only breastfeed like this which was a bit of a pain but got the job done! Good Luck!
Hi Kristine. I am sorry I cannot help your issue/question..but I am dying of curiosity...LOL..your text lingo is above what I know..=) what is dd? & ds? & WAHM is working at home mom or working mom? I just wanted to learn. Thanks & good luck.=)
Here's my thoughts....
Your son is used to a bottle, but probably also gets the milk faster and so he doesn't want to wait for breastmilk and take the energy to get it out. So.... maybe try an adiri natural nurser that is boob-shaped to get him more used to the shape, but also try a lower # bottle (like maybe a 2), so that he doesn't get the milk so quickly. Just my thoughts :), no clue if it will work.
Congrats on sticking with it! Many moms give up so quickly, but you really are doing what is best for your baby!
My son didn't particularly like breast feeding either. I tried everything, bought every book, it was insane. So I decided that he knew something I didn't and just pumped. It was frustrating to pump so often and clean so many bottles all the time but he did so much better. I hated the pressure from other moms that I wasn't technically breastfeeding, but I got over that and he is now a healthy little boy. Good luck... I completely understand your frustrations.
Let him feed a little bit with the bottle - to help his tummy feel somewhat satisfied so he'll be able to "try" breastfeeding without going into hysterics. Have him swaddled so he won't flail or scratch himself. A great product I always recommend is www.miracleblanket.com it's a lifesaver!
An option that worked for my daughter and I....I would take her in a warm bath with me. Dim the lights - maybe even candlelight, soft music, and a washcloth to keep dipping into the warm water to put over her, and viola! She was calm enough to breastfeed. You may want to combine this with the start of a bottle feed, or just see how it goes.
If neither of these suggestions work - contact a certified lactation consultant through your hospital or birth center. There are products through Medela that can be used (like a supplemental feeder) that help re-establish breastfeeding. Here's a great link to breastfeeding help/advice too: www.breastfeeding.com
Best,
C. - Doula, Lactation Educator, Childbirth Educator and Mom to 4 :)
the forums at mothering.com have the best breastfeeding help and advice. go to www.mothering.com and then go under the "discuss" tab. scroll down the page and you will see a number of forums dedicated to several subjects in breastfeeding. good luck!
My daughter always preferred breastmilk from the bottle. I was never able to successfully breastfeed her. I did go to lactation consults and tried everything to no avail. I finally gave up and just fed her breastmilk from the bottle. I pumped for a year and she had nothing but breastmilk during that time (well I introduced solids at the normal time). I had so much milk in the freezer that she went another 4-5 months with breastmilk although I started mixing it with whole cows milk at 1 year in increasing amounts until I ran out of breastmilk. That way she never really noticed the change to the cows milk. She is very healthy. So, if you want your child to have the breastmilk, it can be done. A few years later my son was born and I had no trouble nursing him at all. Some kids are just different I guess. Good Luck!
