Help!!! 21 Month Old Needs to Be Potty Trained by September!!!!!

I have a 7 year old daughter and 4 year old son. I can't believe this school expects a child to be potty trained so early! Usually a school would say age 3. My son was almost 3.5 years when he was ready. That's the key - they need to be ready and not traumatized. It's hard to push a child to be potty trained. But this spring or summer, he could play outside near the potty in a long shirt with no britches. When he needs to go, he will be close enough to the potty and will not like the way it feels going down his leg. It has helped a lot of other moms I know. Good luck! :)

Have a potty chair ready downstairs. Once he starts using it you may want to reward him with an m & m.

Hello my name is T. and My daughter is 17mos old and potty trained the way I got her to be that way was by giving her a piece of candy everytime she used the pot and not her pants....only problem I have now is she tries to make herself go for the chocolate.

Try the book "Toilet Training in Less than a Day". I have five children and it worked for all of them (some of them literally in 4 hrs). It requires intense focused training for a day, but it is worth it. Best wishes!!

Whatever you do be consistent. I have all girls but I do have nephews that I helped potty train and we used Cheerios for them. Throw them in the potty for the number 1 and tell him to sink them. I know it seems silly but he will love it and it will be easy on your septic lines. As for number 2 that goes along with the number 1. Once he gets the number 1 down the number 2 will come naturally. Don't be wishy washy though, stick with the big boy pants.

Good luck!

Well, they say it can be done I've read potty books that really say do say 18-20 months old can do it. I have not yet in my life had the experience before I had children or when I babysat for others. There are some really neat books about potty training if you look up Barnes and Noble book store they have a large selection there's even a book that has children potty training as early as 6 months....yes I said 6 months old. Wow...more power to 'em. There's even a book for boys or for girls. I suggest you check it out. I did have a book can't find it, it was potty training in 3 days. The book needed to be reprinted it talked about special needs children and it was by a doctor he said that they can even be trained in 3 days, he went on to suggest getting a doll and letting the child give it a bottle and see that the doll wets then have the child put the baby on the potty then the child sit on the potty with under pants on it went through the whole thing start out at 5 mins sitting on the potty giving the child lots to drink and eat so they go. It was very interesting it didn't work for me but hey it works different to me for each kid. I also had a situation that made it difficult at the time each child needed to be potty trained the 3rd child was my easiest by age 3 he got it poop and pee really about 2 1/2 he was on his way. I think you can do it the book I read said we now a days wait to long, now remember that was a doctors opinion I didn't say that however born in the early 19sixtyish years my mother had us girls potty trained both poop and pee before 2 1/2 we had no pampers then and my dear old mom (god rest her soul) washer diapers with a ringer washer hung them out on a clothes line to dry in the summer (for those who don't know what a ringer washer is ask your grandma lol lol). My best wishes to you just have faith and try it, try it, try it..Also go online to Barnes and Noble....

I had to put something in the bathroom to entice my son to go in there. They can't always go right away so a book or something to keep his attention is good. We actually used books and his etch a sketch (for it, it was the only place he got to play with it so it was special and when he learned to potty he got to play with it elsewhere). They also say put cheerios in the toilet to get boys to pee in it... it works on aim pretty good. Myself, he wouldnt pee except in his diaper so we taught him to pee on a tree (we lived in the middle of nowhere and he always played outside). Hope this helps a bit.

I let my daughter wear big girl underpants and she only had two or three accidents and she was over it all. I had her potty trained at 18 months and she regresed after the birth of our third child. I was sick and in the bed for 14 weeks, and Erin had a big problem with that. I knew that I coulnd't let her regress too far. After a few accidents, she was a "Big Girl." That was over 20 months ago, and she had done great!!!!
We also let her go to the store and choose her underpants. She didn't want to have accidents on Dora or on a Princess, so that encouraged her as well.
Good luck with the potty issues and I hope that your little man does great.
Don't get discouraged if he doesn't meet the "deadline," all children mature differently and he is still a wonderful addition to your family. Take Care!!!

Unfortunately, children really can't be potty trained "on demand." Physically, they don't know they have to "go" pretty much until the very moment they HAVE to go...until they've developed ability to relate those urges from the brain to the physical urge; but I won't say it's impossible with total dedication. He's got a great start, knowing that pee pee and poo poo goes in the potty...And it was and excellent idea when you caught him trying to go in his diaper to take him to the potty. It is a good idea to start taking him to the bathroom with you when you go. Also, you could put him in underwear only (without a diaper, and take him to potty every hour or so. Asking if he has to go may or may not help, but taking him on a routine to the potty, whether he has to go or not may help him relate the potty to his urge to go. It's my experience as well that girls tend to learn alot more quickly than boys when it comes to potty training. Gather up some of his favorite books, and make them "potty time" books. Have him go sit on the potty for a few minutes and allow him to "read" his potty books, or you could read to him. Another trick that I've heard is successful with boys is: throw a few fruit loops (cereal) into the potty and get him to aim for the fruit loops...Ususally little boys will start out pee peeing sitting on the pot, but you could get him a step stool to stand on and see if he prefers going that way instead...If putting him in underwear doesn't work out, I've heard some moms say that during the summer, they let their children run around without underwear or a diaper during the day...it could call for a mess or ten, but it worked for them. The major thing, I believe, is to get him use to not wearing diapers during the day. Maybe if he gets wet a few times he will want to go to the bathroom and potty. One more thing, kids tend to immitate what they see, and if you have a male figure that can take him and demonstrate using the potty, it could help out. Lastly, a simple reward like his favorite cookie or keeping a little toy "grab bag" in the bathroom may help - each time he is successful, allow him to take a toy from the bag and tell him what a big boy he is! And remember...potty training can be tedious and frustrating for both of you - patience is key!

Sorry this is so long, and I hope you have success very soon!

I don't believe that you can make your child 'potty trained' until he is ready.... Put his underpants on under his diaper... then he can feel when he is going.... give him alot of praise when he gets it almost right... avoid disappointment.... he might think it is him that is disappointing you

I had some what the same problem, except it was a year later, but DS refused to go in the potty fr quite awhile. What I did was start hyping up the "big boys go to school and the potty", and telling him he could go to school like a big boy but he must go potty before they will let him go (it may work, but might not b/c of his age). Two other things I would recommend from your request is to get a small potty and put it in somewhat of a hidden area near where he is playing or spending most of his time during the day. It will be extremely hard for him to hold it until he gets all the way upstairs, at least untill he gets the hang of it. I also recommend letting him be naked at home while potty training, or at least letting him wear only his underwear. I also recommend reading the book "Potty Trining in One Day", I checked it out at the library and it is full of great advice, unfortunately my stuborn little man did the day and refused for awhile after that, I just stuck with the ideas and theories of the book and it took a bit longer for us. Good luck and lots of patience, you will need it!

Consider letting him go around naked from the waist down. (You may need to stay on easy-to-clean floors). He'll become very aware very quickly of what is going on. You may need to have several potty chairs available in various places. You could also set a timer and take him to the potty whether he needs to or not when the timer goes off. Then reward him with something small (an M&M, for instance) each time he tries and with something slightly larger and lots of praise when he is successful. It's probably not impossible, but don't push too hard. If it becomes stressful for him rather than a game, you could have a fight on your hands and a very long haul. If he starts resisting, back off for a while so it doesn't become a stubborn contest. Good luck.

I'm sure you've had lots of replies but i can't not mention gina ford's book - called potty training in one week - it worked like a dream for my son (though he was a bit older) but i've had so many people tell me how great it was for them - good luck!

i don't know if this helps, but it worked for me and my two girls. I figured the best way and easiest way to potty train was to do what my mother did with me. I used the training britches. I put a plastic cover over the training britches at night. The daycare wanted me to use pull ups and I refused. I brought plenty of clothes for accidents and by keeping track of her drinking and knowing her "potty" schedule, I was able to have them trained with in a month. Now I have to confess with my youngest, I ended up having to take 3 days off of work, in order to stay behind her, cause she was a little resistant to the training. I wish you luck and you and he can do this!

Both my kids were potty trained before they were two. My way may not be an option for you but thought I would share anyway. I just put them in regular underware with out a diaper and let them mess them selves. They did not like the feeling and in a weeks time it was all over. The problem is the clean up. One of them even peed on the couch. I had to take the cushion to the cleaners to get it out. It is a good time to start though because the weather is getting better and you can let them run around during the day in only their underware. It make them much more aware of what they are doing. It just seems like you have a dog for a little while in your house. One week is all it takes. It sounds like you are already more than half way there anyway. Good luck!

this is prob not what you want to hear but unless he really is ready it will take longer to train him.
That being said here is a potty training readiness quiz
http://pediatrics.about.com/od/pottytraining/l/bl_potty_r...

and here is a message board about potty training , the ladies on here can give you all kinds of ideas.

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-prrealpt

good luck

let the child run around the inside of ur home with out any clothes on their bottom hafe. after they go to the bathroom once or twice on the floor, they will soon rilize. okay it is befor THIS happens that i need to run to the potty.
did it like this w/ all 3 of my kids and it worked.
i let my son run around sometimes w/ his boxers on, the most important thing is to let them feel all the wetness running down their legs. they will quickly learn, its befor this happeneds that i need to run to the potty.

I know this doesn't help your situation, but I can't believe that he has to be potty trained by 2. I just asked my daycare this morning about training my 19 month old, and they said that they don't even start to work with the kids on it until they're in the 2 year old room.
Sounds like he is ready, though. Just keep working on it, and maybe put a potty closer to his play areas.
Good luck!

before 2 years is way too early for him to be ready!! I would advise you not to do it since it may probably bring the both of you more trouble than good. Potty training shouldnt be a training at all, its something we all do when we are ready.... I have serious issues with my 7yr old because i pushed her in the famous potty traingin when she wasnt ready
:( so plis dont do it with your baby, no school is worth his emotional wellbeing

Try drawing targets on onion paper and make a game out of it,telling him what a big boy he is everytime he hits the target.

Every child is different and some are not ready at this age, my advice as a mom of 5 is to out his needs first, and be careful not to push too hard, that can be more harm than good sometimes. I would also speak to the pediatrician about this, I am pretty sure they would tell you the same.

With my little guy, we did exactly what you are doing. As soon as he could verbalize that he had to go potty then we would take him. I also set a timer for every two hours during the day and I would sit him on the potty regardless if he said he had to go or not. I would do this even if we were out. After a while he got used to doing this and he would start going. It took a while for him to do anything on the potty but the consistency was the key. I also went cold turkey with the diapers during the day. I put him in "big boy underpants" and just a shirt when we were home. As soon as he would start to pee he would realize that the diaper was not there to catch it. I had many accidents to clean up but he learned quickly. At night I would use only a pull up that looked more like the underpants. Hope this helped. Good luck!

K.

I was in your spot last year. I had to potty train my son in basically 4 weeks. After initially showing interest in his potty he flatly refused to even sit on it. I bought two books. (I'm a book mom). The first was The Everything Potty Training Book. The second was How to Potty Train your child in One Day. The second one was full of antiquated gender role references but was very helpful in the quick training technique. He didn't get trained in one day but by he end of the day he had the jist of it. My next move was to put his potty on our big potty instead of making him use it sitting on the floor. That got him interested in sitting on it again. We kept a constant vigil out for signs of his need to go and stopped using diapers during the day and only used pullups at night. Whenever it was obvious that he had to go we walked him to the potty and made him sit on it until something came out. We sang to him, read with him, let him watch his DVD player. If he insisted on getting up before he went we didn't push it. If he immediately had an accident we just followed the techniques in the book. We made him clean it up and then practice going to the potty several times. We did use rewards, chocolate chips, goldfish and a special big boy potty song my husband made up, to reward him when he was successful but we never scolded him when he had an accident. We just firmly reminded him that pee pee and coo coo belonged only in the potty and made him clean up his messes. One day it all just clicked and he was trained. He had some accidents still for about two or three months afterwards but not every day and usually during his nap. He miraculously got peeing and pooing in the potty at the same time, something that is very rare with boys I'm told. Just be firm, consistent, matter of fact and remind him that accidents happen but to keep trying to go in the potty. Some parent disagree but rewards work. He eventually stopped asking for candy and was satisfied with the gushing praise we gave him and was proud of being a big boy. Seeing other children at school go also has helped cut down on the accidents and reinforce it. I also used the Elmo potty time video. Great songs. It treats the subject in a way that he understood and found entertaining. The kid-targeted potty books didn't really do it for him. He was 2 and 7mos when we trained him. One big key is to suck it up and forego diapers for good. Only pullups at night. It's messy but worth it. Good luck.

Good luck on getting your guy potty trained before the age of three. I have a 4 almost 5(in March)yr old and we started at 28 months and went till three and a half. Boys tend to be harder than girls. Mine prefered the big pot to the potty chair. We got one of the child seats of his choice and he would just go and sit on it(with pants pulled up)to become comfortable and make it his time for quiet time.
The best video that helped the most was Bear in the Big Blue House Potty Time with Bear. Awesome.

My pediatrician advised waiting for boys to turn 3.

This is how we did it for my son when he was 34 mos.
Get a trainer potty and a movie about using the potty and let him sit on potty and watch movie as much as you can tolerate. Leave potty nearby at all times and ask often if he has any pee or poop to put in it.
With my son, any training pant or pull up etc was dirtied. Only regular undies or going naked worked.
Set aside a few days to have son stay in the house and let him go around naked. It took my son about 4 days to get it and his school was understanding of accidents.
Good luck

Hi L.,
It may help to do away with the pamper during the day, just use "big boy underwear". You will have a lot of changes during the day, but he will be more aware of the wetness. I keep a 2 1/2 yr old and we are working on potty-training now. Last week I put animal crackers in the potty for him to peepee on. In one day he was going peepee in the potty instead of on the porch. It may also be helpful to have a potty downstairs. Babies r us have great portable potties that even have flushing sounds. This way he doesn't have to hold it until he climbs the stairs. Hope this helps.

L.,

Not sure why you're trying to start school for him right now but potty training at 21 months, 9 times out 10, won't happen until he is 3 almost 4. I know some people have had success but most people I know who have boys, potty training is not done like it is with girls. It takes boys longer to get the concept.

P.S. I may be wrong but I'm sure this same opportunity will be around when your son is ready to potty train and go to school.

Best regards,
L. R.

We trained our son (at 20 months) by letting him go without his diaper. He trained in two days. Do you have a way to stay home with him two or three days? It is a high intensity couple of days where you have to really be paying attention to him. Once he found how wonderful it was to be out of those crinkly diapers, he was anxious to learn so he could wear "big boy" pants. I was ready for him to learn before my new baby arrived and I wouldn't have two in diapers. It was amazing how motivated he was after picking out his own cartoon underwear. Good luck!

Personally, I don't think that a school that requires a 2 year old to be fully potty trained is a good place to put your child. Most 2 year olds just aren't developmentally ready for that yet, and if the teachers aren't willing to change diapers, you should question what else they would consider a nuisance. Will they comfort your child if he misses you, or if he gets hurt on the playground, or if he's just plain having a bad day? Sometimes academics aren't the most important thing.

You can try rewards for using the potty - we gave our daughter princess panties and did a sticker chart with trips to chuck e cheese. However, she was peeing 100% on the potty for at least 6 months before she was ready to poop on the potty - that didn't happen until the month after she turned 3. So you can hope for the best, but realize that he may not make the august deadline no matter how hard you - and he - tries.

Hi L.,

I was just looking up some medical questions that I had and found a site by a Dr. that had some info on your topic. Check it out. www.askdrwarren.com

Instead of having to take him all the way upstairs you might put the potty downstairs.

I would really question any "school" that would tell me that my child had to be totally potty trained by 2, kids are ready when they are ready and you are only asking for serious problems and setting things back even further if you push it before the are completely ready. No school is worth it in my opinion.

REWARD, REWARD, REWARD!

With that being said, don't rush him either. That could cause more problems in the long run. He certainly sounds ready though. If you truly want to potty train him, buy the cloth training pants (they're really thick underwear) usually found by the cloth diapers. Spend a few days at home and have him only wear the underwear. No diapers or pull ups (except at night). You could also let him run around without pants all together.

Throw away the diapers!!! That is the first thing you need to do. Put him in big boy pants and put him on the potty first thing in the morning. Then every 45 minutes to an hour after that. If he goes pee pee or poop give him a treat. I used mostly m&ms. If he wets his pants just go "Oh no, we missed the potty" and change him don't make a big deal out of that but boy if he goes in the potty dance and sing and call grandparents and dad or whomever just to share the good news. You can let him run around naked for a few days because that helps them to feel the sensation a little better. Oh and I would get a potty chair to put downstairs if you only have one upstairs. He probably won't be able to hold it from the time he tells you until he gets upstairs at first.

http://candacej73.blogspot.com/2007_11_01_archive.html

I documented my potty training journey on my blog listed above. Just start at the bottom of the page though. He can do it as long as you are ready! You may have numerous messes to clean but it is possible.

hi, when I was potty training my twin sons, I checked out a book at the library "HOW TO POTTY TRAIN IN LESS THAN A DAY". I took the day and did as it suggested, not quite everything but as closely as possible. It really speeded up the process. I would say in less than a week they were trained (they are now 32). I have suggested this to other young Moms and it has helped them. Be sure as of right now that your child is in training pants and NOT pull ups. This, especially with girls, make them want to go. Girls typically do no like the "dirty" pants. It is a hassle for you but when I was sending my daughter to day care, the "seasoned" mom insisted on this and my daughter was pt very quickly.

Hope this helps, good luck

Put the underwear UNDER the diaper. This will allow him to feel when he has an accident, and motivate him to get to the potty on time. (But the diaper will eliminate any mess on the floor/furniture.) My 22 month old initiated potty training about 3 months ago and we have let him set the pace. Recently, he has started to tell us and his teachers when he needs to go in time to get there! Good Luck!

Hi, L.! I had two in diapers at the same time and that is the first thing they ever "competed" in!! I have a couple of suggestions for you because you don't want to feel like you are buying the diaper factory forever and the older they get, the most expensive the diapers also. 1. Always give some type of reward for making progress, such as having a chart in the bathroom that he can get a "star" or a sticker placed on it for everything he completes on his own. This worked great for me, but make sure you are always progressing to the next level. You will have to be diligent and work at it, progressing step by step. 2. Also, with a boy it seemed a little more difficult for some reason. If he can walk and he knows where the toilet is, he can use it, no excuses. Let him stay a little longer in his dirty diapers and he will understand that it will make HIM feel beter to use the toilet instead of his diaper. That will put the problem to him instead of all of it being your problem. AND ALSO, when he gets into school, pay close attention to the bathrooms at the school. I have noticed that there are many who do not provide soap, so check on that. When you get him to pre-K, you might get a few gray hairs!! Good luck with it all.

I'm sorry, but I think rushing potty training is a recipe for disaster. Your son is only 21 months old. Most boys aren't completely trained until after age 3. From my research it can be disasterous with long term problems to rush potty training -especially on such a tight time clock. Also, because he's only 21 months old, isn't there a good neighborhood preschool or something you can send him to? What about his current daycare situation or whomever is looking after him? He's not even two, so it's really not imperative that he be on a rigorous academic schedule this next year. Yes, he needs socialization and beginning learning skills, but I would wait until the 2009/2010 school year to put him in this place. That way he will probably be toilet trained and ready to go -at HIS pace.

That is a very silly rule they have. I work in a daycare center and it's not the norm for a 24 month old boy to be 100% potty trained and in big boy underwear 24/7. If they are that strict on this issue it would cause me concern about what else they may be "anal" about. A 21 month old boy needs to play - children learn through play, whether alone or with others. I'd check other learning centers. Kids that age need a maximum of 60 minutes of circle time per day and that should be broken up. Smaller kids have short attention spans. My experience has been that one day the light goes on for the child and you cannot speed it up. Be patient, supportive and it will happen. Best of luck. L.

What worked for both of my children (4 & 6) is really making a BIG deal about beginning the process. I suggest you take a week off and plan to be at home. I know this may not be feasible for you, but it will pay off!
I took my kids to the store to let them pick out "big girl/boy underwear and 1 "big kid" outfit of their choice. We went on a Friday and began the process on Monday. While "washing" up the new items (stalling technique)they kept asking me when they could begin "potty"training. I would tell them in 2 days, 1 day then this is the BIG day. The anticipation really helped with my kids. They also did not want to "mess" up their new items. They did not get to wear their cherished big kid outfit until they had a day w/o accidents.

My son was nearly 3 yrs old when I did this with him (he was "trained" in 3 days.
My daughter was 2- 21/2 and it took her 1 week.

Good luck to you,
A.

Hi L.,

I have 3 boys that I have potty trained. However, not every child learns at the same age. I had success by putting Cheerios in the toilet bowl and "aiming" for them. Also, I believe Baby's R Us sells a corn starch "target" called "PIDDLERS" or something like that. Now, that was for #1, for #2 I used to sit my boys backwards on the toilet. It gave them more stability at that age where they did not feel like they were falling in. I would have some sort of activity on the back of the tank and then would give a small reward or star on a chart. Good luck, and remember, don't push (just encourage), because the opposite result could occur if he is just not ready and willing.

C. C. - Bluffton, SC

Yes ma'am you are totally correct about your stance. That's absurd to only have expectations of your child being potty trained by 3 or 4, they are about to start pre-K! My son attended the same type of school, although he went a little earlier so they helped in training in his 1 year class. ALL of the little boys were trained by 2, some people have time and money for their kids to use pampers until they are 3 or 4. Don't feel guilty because you want something different, trust me you sure won't feel guilty when he comes home speaking spanish at 3 like mines did in a BECA program.

Try putting on the underwear first, under the pull-up, so he feels the difference of being wet, but you don't have such a mess to clean up. We potty trained our son at 26 months by just sticking him straight in underwear. By day 4, he didn't have one accident. Pooping on the toilet took a few weeks longer to get, but it didn't take long because he hated getting his underwear and pants dirty.

We potty trained my son this summer. We let him run around outside in the backyard in his swim trunks if he had to go he pulled them down and went. I tried to have him sit and that was the worst thing that I could possibly do. Once I figured out that he would rather stand he didn't have any other problems. There is no set age to potty train. Every child is different. You just have to be consistent. No diapers during the day at all. Be prepared to clean up some messes but cold turkey was the best way for us. He has been diaper free since the end of August. It took us one week to get the hang of going in the potty during the day and two to start going at night. I got up every two hours to check to see if he was wet when I narrowed it down to when he went at night I was able to get up every night at the same time take him potty and there were no accidents in bed. Now he makes it through the night.

Good Luck

B. M

My fist response is to question making potty training a stipulation for a 2 year old class. 3 year olds yes, but 2 seems pushing it. My oldest daughter was trained at 13 months day and night, my second daughter at 18 months day at night never an accident, my son well it took him until he was 3 almost 4 and still not at night. He is almost 5... The school he went to was a great experiencial lab school and their philosophy was that children will mature in different ways at different times. They felt their role was to foster independence not force skills that a child may not be ready for. If he wants to and can communicate well enough with you I would say go ahead and try but if it becomes a battle I would rethink the wonderful school and find a school where each child is allowed to mature at their own speed. One of the things you may do to speed up the training is let him be in underware without a diaper so he feels when he wets. He will feel like a big boy and that may also be a little motivation.Diapers seem to be too comfotable not enough motivation. Another friend of mine advocates no diapers or underware for a week she says it has worked for her 3 times now. The easier it is for them to go the more likely they will want to.Main thing to remember is that potty training has nothing to do with intellegence or future accomplishments and sooner or later they all seem to get it...