Hello, My Daughter Is 17 and Almost 18 and She Hasn't Started Her Period at All

Is she underweight? I had a co-worker who was underweight and she'd get her period about once a year, if that. She said that when she was a teen, she never got it, and then when she eventually did get it, she'd get it about once or twice a year. She was underweight (about 85 lbs. or so), and may have been anorexic, though she didn't disclose that to me. When she wanted to get pregnant, she had a lot of difficulty because of this anomaly with her reproductive system. She put on some weight and slowly, her reproductive system started to normalize and her periods became more regular.

'so many different doctors' and they all just threw up their hands and admitted utter ignorance, eh?

i don't buy it.

i guess you could ask strangers without medical degrees who have never laid eyes on your daughter to diagnose her.

seems smart.

khairete
S.

Did the doctors say, "Everything is normal and there's nothing wrong with her," or did they say, "We don't know what's wrong with her." Because there is a difference.

If they said, "We don't know what's wrong with her," that implies that there is something wrong and they just haven't found it, yet. If that's the case, you need to say, "What's next?" You need to keep asking questions, find out if there are other tests that need to be done or a different angle to pursue or a different specialist to see. But you don't stop asking until they either find out what is wrong or they say there is nothing wrong.

Now, if what they really said is, "Everything is normal and there's nothing wrong with her," then you need to hear the part where they said that nothing is wrong. If they are repeatedly telling you that it's ok that she hasn't started yet, then you need to accept that and relax.

Just because most girls would have had their first period by now doesn't necessarily mean there is something wrong. If the doctors tell you nothing is wrong, try to trust that.

If no one has detected a problem I'm not sure there is anything anyone can do.

This question came up before a few years ago - those answers might help you:

https://www.mamapedia.com/questions/9349174316362694657

Really? Not one doctor, from the so many different ones you saw and all the tests you did, had any idea? If they didn't know, we sure don't.

There was a question just the other day on this.

If it were my daughter, I'd want to be assured that her reproductive system was all ok, and the questions I'd be asking would be - how long do we wait? What would next step be at that point .. kind of thing.

If all the tests to this point have been ok, I'd feel relieved (that's comforting) - but it's good to have a plan. So that's what I'd want to know. When our kids have had medical concerns - or we have (adults) - we always just need to know 'And then what?'.

Sometimes you have to ask them directly and not let them off the hook - if they say "It's wait and see" - then say "If we wait and see, until she's 19 and she still hasn't, then what's the next step?".

You can ask these questions. Then you're not looking it up on the internet. You're asking the people who know. Put it to them!

Did the doctor do an ultrasound? If not, go get a second opinion and ask for an ultrasound.

You didn't mention whether or not she has shown other signs of puberty. There's usually a progression of things that happen before a girl gets her period. It usually starts with breast development, body hair, and so on. The period is usually the last thing that happens. If she's been a late bloomer her whole life, this isn't necessarily abnormal. When I was a kid, my period started but stopped for a year or two. Then it came back. I was very physically active though.
You should ask your doctor for more information. They actually have rating scales for which phase of puberty they are in. For example they have numbers corresponding to the level of breast development, body hair, etc.
If they were really concerned, they would have sent her to an endocrinologist. If not, perhaps you could ask for a referral.
If everything is normal, I would consider her lucky that she hasn't had to put up with mood swings, cramps, running to the bathroom, etc. I would have been elated to not have my period in high school!

A.

Welcome to mamapedia! Now leave your daughter alone. Really.

There was a question here this week about a 15 year old that hadn't started her periods yet. Is your daughter concerned?

"so many doctor's"? And none of them said anything was wrong? Hhhmmm.....your daughter might be a late bloomer.

Is she VERY active - like runs a lot?
Is she overweight?
Is she underweight?

What exactly to you expect a group of strangers to do for you that doctor's haven't? We cannot examine your daughter. We can't run tests on your daughter. i'm really not trying to be rude. But it's frustrating when someone new comes here and doesn't give much information and seems like they expect us to fix it somehow.