Heavy Drinker Vs. Alcoholic

I honestly am not sure why his drinking habit is your business, unless it is directly negatively effecting you, i.e. he is driving you or your kids while drunk, yelling at people, or otherwise engaging in destructive behavior.

Everyone has their vices, and they are theirs to have, unless they effective others negatively. I honestly am appalled at women who strive to be a size zero when they have young daughters at home --weight issues are as serious as drinking issues, if you ask me. But, no one asks me because really it isn't any of my business.

At the end of the day, people do what they need to do to live their lives to the best of their abilities. Unless they want help, there is nothing, and I mean, nothing you can do, save for trying to take away car keys in this case.

Your concern is commendable, but really, he is a big boy and he WILL make his own decisions, no matter what you say or do.

T.,
You can not help someone that doesn't think there is a problem. Be supportive of the family and be there when they ask for help.
Until then take a small step by not serving alcholic beverages of any kind at your family party.
Best Wishes to your family!

He sounds like he is an alcoholic. You unfortunately can't do much about it. You could not invite him and then the entire family will get mad at you, you could include byob on his invite so he doesn't drink up all the other guests drinks and you are doing the right thing not letting him hold the baby if you think he is too drunk. I would suspect even mom is aware that her son is heavily drinking and chooses to look the other way. In a lot of families there are people who excuse this behavior "Oh, he doesn't drink that much, oh you know after that happened last year, oh he got bad grades twenty years ago" And there are legitimate losses and things one might have seen in service for their country or in dangerous jobs, but that doesn't always mean a person is an alcoholic or that they chose to use alcohol to cope on a regular basis. His wife has to live with him, and I am sure she knows it too but copes the best she can. It sounds like he is an alcoholic even if he isn't living on the streets in dirty clothes. They come in all shapes and sizes and it is an illness. He is not a bad person. He needs some help. If you think his wife is looking desperate enough do talk to her and point out that she can go to alanon meetings. Prayer is helpful. Pray for guidance and him to open up his eyes. I will pray, too.

My father was an alcoholic, my stepfather was an alcoholic,
( what's wrong with my mother?).
My former BIL is an alcohlic and harrased me in front of the entire family,nobody did anything.It was really bad and I said I would not go to family functions, if he would be there.Thank god, my SIL got divorced shortly after.
I know the feeling, that you want to help, but I wouldn't.
Denial is very strong and like the oher posts mentioned,
if the wife wants help, she would hopefully reach out.
I think he has a drinking problem,which doesn't automaticly makes him an alcoholic.
But nevertheless is just as bad and obnoxious.
If the drinking bothers you,and you don't want them in your house, I would say something, but be ready for some family problems.
I have not talked to my husbands family for 8 years !!!
We are back to normal,is not easy with the family sometimes.
Good luck