Healthy Age Differences

If you can do it now, I would. Money problems will all work out. It is nice to have kids close so they can be friends. It is hard to stay home with my kids but I am grateful to be able to do it in this stage.

If my body would allow it, I'd not wait.

It really varies, and inevitably a Mom gets used to any ages apart that their children are. My kids are 4 years apart, not planned, just so happens to be 4 years apart. I love it. It is perfect and the kids love it too.

And then, you can't always "plan" if/when you get pregnant. And it also depends on your age too, often times.... and how long you "wait."

Then, if you stay in the workforce... you will need to turn it over to Daycare at some point... or wait until your son is old enough to just go to school, and then the 2nd child, if you are still working, will need some kind of Daycare... OR you get an in-home Nanny for the child. Assuming that you will be working outside the home.

Finding the right fit for you, per supplemental or replacement income, can take lots of time... to research it out. So start now. I am assuming that to you "supplemental" or replacement income means working from home??? If not, then a 2nd job can be supplemental or replacement income too... or a job that offers telecommuting, from Home.
And it depends on what income level you are talking about, for replacement or supplemental income.

Or if you become a SAHM, stay at home mom... then you won't have to turn your kids over to Daycare. BUT, still researching how to supplement/earn an income.

There is also the factor of when "you" are ready for Daycare, as you said. OR, when your CHILD is ready for Daycare or a school atmosphere. So which need will it be? Unless you home-school.

All the best,
Susan

Every person's situation is different. For me, once I had a baby I knew two things: I wanted two and that I wouldn't be able to re-start my career until the kids were both older. So we had two kids, boom, boom; they're 23 mo's apart. I spent my time with them, got through the baby stage and am now restarting my career. I wouldn't change it for me and my situation. For you, it will depend on what you want and what will work best for your family. There is no magic age separation for siblings. GL in your decision.

Hello, you sweet young lady,

I personally would never plan on having a baby and putting them in daycare. I think daycare is something that should be reserved for people that have no other choice. I think that your husband (are you married?) is wired biologically to be the provider of his woman and kids. And when men are not expected to do that (that includes marrying their girlfriend rather than having illegitimate kids and a woman that he can screw over as soon as times are hard by walking out on them), then all responsibilities are shared (cooking, childcare, etc) and it actually causes more fighting than if you each have separate responsibilities. When both parents work, most of their energy goes into their jobs. The child is taken care of, during the day, by people that care for your kid for money and hopefully like your child, but never come even close to loving and cherishing him like you do. Not even close. And who knows what their values are? Plus, the child comes home from daycare feeling super needy for time and attention from their parents, and their parents are tired and still have all these chores to do, and just want to relax. It's not ideal. It's not the end of the world, but far from ideal.

It's actually easier to live on one income in a lot of ways. You don't go out to eat often, you buy your clothes on sales, you live a simpler life. Your babies need love, time and attention more than lessons, toys, vacations, friends, tv, or daycare.

I know I sound obnoxious, but I got this all from taking a child development class while I was getting my master's degree, getting ready to put my 3 kids in daycare so that I could work as a family therapist. After taking this unbiased class that is based on years and years of unbiased research, I looked at my kids and told them I would never divorce their father (unless extreme reasons) and would be there for them as much humanly possible!

And since I have backed off and take care of the housework and the kids, my husband makes good money and feels proud of himself for doing that for us and takes great pride in buying us stuff, spoiling us, and knowing that I am always around nurturing, loving, and teaching our kids.

And we hardly fight anymore because we each have our own domains of responsibility and neither of us tells the other how to do their job. I am so much happier, our home is more peaceful and less hectic, and my husband and I are closer and talk more, and love each other more.

Marci

It sounds like you need to think about whether or not you are wanting to put your job on hold or not. I think if you desperately want another kid than that is where your heart will lead you. I've been able to be home with my 3 year old (also turned 3 in Dec) since her birth. We have #2 on the way, due in May. I have a home-based business that has been incredibly fun and fruitful. I would love to talk to you if you want to look into it and see if it would be an option for you, too. I also think its such a shame to have kids in daycare full time. They are young for such a short amount of time and it is so precious to be there for them while they are figuring out the world. If you are interested in learning about a home-based business, you can email me at ____@____.com or private message me. Good luck milling over your options :)

I like to have my children between 2 and 3 years apart. They get along as playmates when closer in age, but some moms like their kids farther apart so the older one can help more.

EVery mom and child is going to react differently, so you just have to do what feels right for your family.

My sis and I are only 18 months apart and loved it.

Can I suggest why not do both have your child and work from home Im successfuly doing just that. I have plenty of time for my kids and this company has been around for 25 yrs and have remained completly debt free and are accredited by the BBB,if your interested in staying home and working I would love to help you get started visit my website http://wahjobfinder.com/green4us

You may want to wait a year just so you qualify for FMLA. However you also have to look at your finances. In a year you can save money. Here is my situation to give you some idea. Both my husband and I work and had our daughter 2 year ago. I am currently pg with our 2nd due in July 2010. If you were to lok at my income and pull out the child care cost I am stil bringing home a reasonable amount of money that it makes sense for me to work so we can provide the best life for our children..and I do nt mean material things, I mean like for them to get involved in sports and go to college. W stil tdo nothave to worry about where then next season clothes are coming form or putting food on the table. We can take them on trips and go camping. So yes it lowers your spendable income but what is more important to you and your husband having more expendable income or a sibling for you current child. Every family is different I would go for it as soon as it fits. But I do know you ahve to work for your employer for 12 mths to recieve the FMLA aggreeemnet. Good luck and all the best

I have three kids and the first two are 6 years apart the last two are 2 years apart. I fully prefer the 6 year difference. The best part is that the older one is more independent and you can give the baby the time you were able to give the first one. With my two smaller ones, I feel like my time is much more divided because their needs are greater.

Now that being said, I have a thought for you. I graduated college and worked for 10 years after before I had my first boy. By the time I had him, I was a VP at a huge corporation and made well over 6-figures. When that baby was born I stepped down from my position and went worked there part time. Within a month or so I quit all together. Now my decision is not for everyone. Giving up that kind of income was painful to say the least, however, I knew at the time that I will NEVER get that time back with my kids and I can always go back and get the real money. Just remember that you only need about 5 years of time to get your kids to school, then go get the real money. Believe me, it will be there then too ya know?

Good luck to you! And remember, any time you have a baby it is a blessing, so no worries.

Do you have a career that you could network from home? Maybe you could work part-time at home & part-time at work, or work totally from home for a period of time.
We had our boys 2.5 years apart & I don't regret it. It was rough for a couple of years-especially when hubby deployed-but they're great friends now (most of the time, they ARE still siblings hehe) & they'll always have a playmate if friends aren't available.

Guess there is no right answer to this question..
Do u have anyone who could maybe watch baby while u work?.
I was lucky went back part time and doing nightwork so my hubby was able to look after our little ones.
But I think maybe you shld look at your options first.
I don't no what u are offered in terms of maternity leave?
Over here we get 6 moths off and still receive full wage or some work places offer 12 mnths.
We also have many diff choices of types of daycare, eg family, occasional, longday care etc.

As a wise friend once told me if you waited for the best time when you could afford the kid and all would be bliss there would be no procreation EVER! You know when the time is right enjoy the ride and have fun. Only good things will come for sure :)And it just happens I did not plan it this way but mine will be a WAY SURPRISING 15 months apart and that SCARES THE BAGEEBEES out of me but people say it can be done. So I have faith :)