I'm a 41 year old mother of a 3 yr old and am wanting to have another baby. But after my dr's appt today I am extremely discouraged. He told me he was very nervous about me having another baby. Background: My son was born 7 weeks early due to preeclampsia brought on by problems with my kidneys (which I didn't know about before). I also had high blood pressure, and gestational diabetes. My son was in the hospital for a month, me a week. Right now I am dealing with being overweight, high blood pressure (which is now controlled by meds) and mild kidney disease. I see an internist every 3 mths and he is who I spoke with today. He told me my husband and I really need to discuss whether or not we want to take the chance and if so, he would refer me to a specialist in Greenville. Am I crazy for wanting another baby? Is there any other women out there who have dealt with health problems but were able to deliver a healthy baby? Please give my any advice you can. thanks!....
I've read some of the responses and thank you all for your responses. I have been losing weight to get in shape for pregnancy and my dr. took me off one of my meds today because my bp is stable. So today was a day for good reports. And I want to say after going through one premature birth I would never put a baby through that again. I was just hoping to hear from women who had health problems but was able to deliver a healthy baby. thanks again.
I second everything Krista said, including the possibility of adoption.
You're not crazy for wanting another child, but you need to make sure a few things are in place before trying to do so. I understand you're operating against a ticking clock, but you really need to get to your optimum weight before trying to get pregnant. Many overweight women have perfectly healthy pregnancies, but with your background and currrent issues, you don't want to stress your body any more -and although our bodies were made to reproduce, pregnancy is a HUGE stress on your body! I'm not so sure with the kidney disease that you should ever entertain another pregnancy again. That would be up to your doctors to decide regarding the risks. I wish you luck, but look into alternative methods -surrogacy and adoption would give you another child without risking your health any further.
First...of course you're not crazy for wanting another baby! With that said, right now is not the correct time. It's not likely your baby would be born healthy and at full term. On top of that, your health would be in danger. At your age there are already high risks, add on the other high risks you have...and I'm very sorry to say this...the situation is not good. Your 3 year old will go through difficulties adjusting to a new baby, your new baby will need all of you. Your health would most likely be depleted and you might have a preemie, or other health issues in the baby. That is setting yourself up for huge challenges you can avoid...and should avoid. trust me, I understand wanting a baby. But, when you KNOW it's likely your baby will be brought into the world early, sick, or with special challenges...how fair is that to the baby? It's not. You can avoid giving your baby a hard early life. You need to.
See the specialist, do what they say. Get your body healthy and THEN and only then, try for a baby.
Don't forget to factor-in your own health. If another pregnancy is going to put significant strain on your body and well-being you will need to know that ahead of time. Remember too that you will have a school-aged child needing your love and attention in addition to that infant.
Seeing the specialist wouldn't be the end of the world, but make sure you are thinking with your head not just your heart. Can you do another high-risk pregnancy?
I hope that you find the answer you are seeking- and remember that adoption is always a wonderful option.
I am not trying to be harsh... beacuse goodness knows I know what it feels like to want more children!
You MUST face the reality of your situation. You have illnesses that will not get any better and can only get progressively worse and even turn fatal if a pregnancy was put on top of all that. You must think of your child you have NOW, not the ones you wish to have.
There is always adoption, surrogacy, etc... You may even be able to use your own eggs - with a surrogate.
Hi Lesa,
I was so sick when I had my first child (suffering from Ulcerative Colitis and Kidney problems) and the OLD doctor that had been praticing in our community told my mother that childbirth HELPS our health. It comforted her and made me think about a lot of things at that point. Most of the things you mentioned can be healed or managed fairly easily going the natural route. Medical doctors treat symptoms and don't go for the root causes.
No, you are not crazy for wanting another child. It's natural and normal. I'd be glad to talk about some basic "good health" measures or you can contact a naturopath in your area. Sherman Chiropractic College is in your area and can help a lot. It would equate to a teaching hospital in chiropractic circles. I would also recommend going ahead and getting on a good absorbable prenatal vitamin. It will help you and protect the baby as well.
God bless,
M.
