When my 14-month-old son is thwarted from something inappropriate he wants to play with/chew (power cords, Daddy's computer, etc.), he lately has been banging his forehead on the floor. Our instincts tell us to ignore this and try to provide him with a cushion so he doesn't hurt himself. Is this the right response? Usually, he'll do it for a minute or less, then find something else to do. He's always been big on using his head as a weapon--he head-butts the dog, your chest when you're holding him, throws himself backwards rhythmically in his high chair while waiting for his food, etc--but now he's stepping it up a bit.
My boy the same. I would direct him to go ahead and het his frustrations out but on a bed, pillow or sofa. He grew out of it...
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Scroll down for head-banging...
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Best wishes,
J.
I was taught a little game that supposedly helps with head butting. Not sure about head banging, but it might help.
You hold the baby in your lap and take his head in your hands. You pull your heads together as if to headbutt each others foreheads while saying Bar-rum (really any word would work). You do that twice and then do it a third time, but this time you say Butz (rhymes with puts not butts) and you actually do touch forehead this time, but gently. So you go Bar-rum, Bar-rum, Butz. You can play it over and over again as desired.
Oh, and btw, my 14 month old son is a headbanger and butter. I think it is just a stage. My 3 year old did the banging too.
As scary as it may seem to you, it is a basically normal response to someone who can not verbalize what they want! He is going to be your strong willed child!
My neice used to do this and I was petrified of watching her. She would also run as fast as her legs would carry her and slam her head into doors and walls. I refused to take care of her until my sis took her to the ped and asked them about this. Her Ped told her it was normal and that they will not do it hard enough to truly hurt themselves and if they do end up with a good bruise they likely will not do it anymore (this happened around 1.5-2 years with her).
The best thing to do is walk away and ignore it! There is no way to really reason with a 14 month old. When you redirect him and give him something acceptable to do and he starts the head banging etc if you give him any attention- from telling him no to putting the pillow down he will use it as a way to seek attention in other situations as well.
A few times in the store my daughter has thrown herself on the floor screaming and crying and kicking her feet. I just stop and watch and after a few I will ask her if she is done yet and ready to shop (I think she was closer to 2 though) When she realized I was not going to react the way she wanted to she stopped. You will also be surprised at how many parents will applaud you for not giving in or bribing your child!
One thing I learned the hard way... do not use the bed as a punishment- Oops!!!! I put her in her crib when she was having a tantrum one time and then regretted it for a few days afterwards! I now know the bed is for sleeping and that is it!
Remember that one day you will look back on all this and laugh... unfortunately it will probably be while you are coloring all the grey hairs he will give you! lol
Blessings to you and yours!
Ignoring seems to be the best response and putting a cushion on the floor when He does it on the floor. I don't know what it is with heads but my son used to like to head butt a lot at that age as well. He used to run into me with his head like he was a bull he thought it was funny. Your son will eventually grow out of it. but if you pay a lot of attention to it that will only add fuel to the fire cause kids seek attention and they will continue on with the behaviors that get them the most attention
It all depends on the reason he is doing the head banging. If he is frustrated then it might be an idea to talk to him about what is frustrating or upseting him and telling him you will be there to listen and you still love him if you day no. On the other hand if he is doing it just because you are doing something else and he needs attention, as long as you are giving him attention in other positive ways, its best to ignore it otherwise he will come to believe that doing negative things gets him attention.
Hope this helps. Goodluck
Yes, that's exactly what our pediatrician recommended when our eldest son used to do that (around age 1 1/2). The tantrums will pass most quickly if you don't acknowledge them. What was tricky for us was that when I'd move him away from one hard surface, like a wall, he'd move to another, like a table leg. Let's hope your son doesn't do that! The good news is that the phase passed pretty quickly. Good luck!
Brains are so fragile that I would hope there is a way AWAY from this 'habit'...Could you redirect him TO something more appropriate rather than just saying "NO" and leaving him to find another source of interest?
It has been my observation that young children, especially SMART ones , need lots of directed activities...Like being read to or playing with puzzles or shape boxes or fingerpainting with pudding or going to the zoo or nature center or to the YWCA's gym & swim programs or Montessori School or whatever to keep their active brains challenged in a good way...Counting cookies or being talked to or held or having the world explained to them....All this is your insurance policy that this young child will do well in school and have a wonderful career as an adult...
I know...Mine are grown and the ones that I put in the most time and energy are doing so very well that I am gifted with much in return!
YOu are caring about this so keep up the good work and it will pay off ! Hugs & smiles, MOM J
My son does this too (13 months). I usually call his name out and that will distract him from this. If he continues, I go to him and rub is forehead and say "don't do that" and that has been the most we have had to do to stop it. It is disturbing but from what everyone always tells me it is pretty normal.
My son was the same way. We have the benfit of carpeting in our house, so we tended to walk away from his fits, they eventually decreased. He also did the running into walls thing. a couple times he did it so hard he surprised himself when he fell down. that stopped it.
It sounds like your son is very physical in his need to communicate with you. Have you tried teaching him some baby sign language or making flash cards with pictures of all the things he might want to say to you. If he is given an alternate means of communicating with you and can be successfull in it, that will help both him and you.
Good Luck
ABOUT ME: Working student Mom of 3 phyically demonstrative children (ages 8, 6 and 3)
This is very common. Our son was also a head-banger. Some kids do it more intensely than others. Your response seems fine. He'll eventually grow out of it. It's funny though... parents whose kids aren't headbangers read about it and totally freak out. It's not a big deal. Remember that that part of the head is really hard! Even if he gets a bruise, that's about the worst that will happen. I remember getting head-butted in the face many, many times by my son at that age...
