Hi,
My son Roman is 15 months now, and as of few months ago he has started throwing serious temper-tantrums. As of the past month they have escalated to him banging his head against something (usually the floor) when he gets mad. Things that make him mad are just, basically, if we take something away from him, or tell him no.
He is generaly pretty happy guy, but when the kid gets mad, he gets MAD! What do I do? He often seems to bang his head harder than he meant to, and I am worried about him hurting himself. Also, I would like some help with temper-tanrums in general.
Thank you so much!
Thank you all so much for your advice - I greatly apreciate it.
Majority of our apartment is pretty safe (carpeted and baby-proofed). His tantrums happen always when he gets frustrated, so al ot of time by the time I walk to him, it is over. Or atlesat head banging part is. He never hits his head more than twice, and never too hard. Sometimes his forhead stays red for a few minutes, but he never bruised. I guess, I just did not know if this was common or not.
Again, thank you all for your kind words and good advice. I will keep you up to date.
A.
My son, also 15 months old, does the same thing. He has been for a couple of months now. I attribute his tantrums to the birth of my newest son but still, it is loud and frustrating. Any help you get, please forward on to me as I would love a solution.
J.
Hi A.,
I have an 18 month old myself and her favorite word is "mine" so when she takes things that don't belong to her I redirect her. I either tell her "oh bring that over here". An example is at night when she doesn't want to give up her toothbrush. I tell her "you put it in the cup" this way she puts it down and she thinks she has the control. Another is when she grabs my cell phone. I tell her in a nice voice..."put the phone on the table". It really does work. I guess it would depend on what you need to take away from him. Another suggestion would be to give him something to replace what he has to give up. When a child is told "no", they don't know what to do. "No kicking"....but if you give the child a suggestion..."kick the ball" that is more concrete for them to understand. I was always taught to tell them what to do and not what to do. I do this when my daughter throws food on the floor from her highchair. I tell her to say "I'm all done"...I give her the language she needs. These are all types of behavior modification. I work with children with special needs so I've had a lot of practice but trust me...all children test their caregivers. Ignore the trantrums but in a safe way. It depends where you are. If you are in public, you may need to remove the child. If you are at home, just keep him safe. Remember...behavior is communication. Try to figure out what he needs/wants? Hope this helps.
Ah, the wonderful temper tantrums! How we all dread them. No matter how many kids one has, or how many times one muddles through this phase, it is always painstaking and challenging.
Everything you've probably been reading about tantrums is true. However, each and every child is different. I would just worry about keeping little Roman safe (like putting him in his crib or holding him tight) and about letting him know that you know that he is mad and why he's mad. There really isn't much else you can do except stick to your guns and whatever you do, DO NOT GIVE IN. You will live to regret it.
My youngest is 19 months and she has started her tantrums big time. She usually spends anywhere from 5 to 10 minutes (depending on whether or not she's got a sympathetic ear around) throwing her tantrum, then she basically ends up doing what I asked her to do in the first place and accepting the status quo. While she's screaming/crying/throwing self down I remind her that she's not going to get any attention and that we can talk about it when she's all done. That may seem pointless, but I think eventually they do get it.
Hope this helps.
my daughter started doing the same thing around 1 yr, and is still doing this (just not as much) at 1 1/2. it started with her bashing her head into anything and everything, especially when in the crib (which caused many bruises and fat/split lips). we had to pad the railing and that stopped after about 2-3 months. she still slams her head into the floor, furniture, and (most painful) US! i swear it feels like my shoulders are broken from her slamming her head into me. she's almost broken a few noses. it gets bad. the WORST thing to do is try to reason with her, because it just makes it worse...also no laughing! i know it sounds stupid to say, but my MIL laugh EVERY time my daughter had a tantrum, and it only makes it worse (and i'll admit maybe 3 times outta the 100 or more she's had, i've had to walk out of the room, or cover my face to hide my laughter). all depending on the situation, i either ignore her, redirect her to something else, or just pick her up and put her in her crib. usually (lately) she throws the tantrums when she's starting to get tired. if you notice that, just put him in his crib for some "me-time" or down for a nap...just because she's starting to get tired, doesn't mean she's ready to go down, she just needs to rest and maybe watch some tv. at this age, MOST of the tantrums are related to frustration, and the easiest way to go around that is to redirect them to something else. i hope some of this helps. good luck, and try to be patient.
I went throught the EXACT same thing with my now (15yr. old) son. I immediately took him to his medical doctor (made an urgent appointment). He referred us to a pediatric neurologist, who ordered an MRI of the brain. My son had an abdnormal MRI. Please take your son to his Doctor immediately...Something could be wrong, and it's best to catch it early...I wish you the very best...
Teach him sign language. Start with simple signs like eating, drinking, washing, changing of the diaper, and playing. YOu can add hurt, pain etc. This will help them communicate more efficiently other times that they will get less frustrated in general. If he has a hard time communicating all the time when it gets to something like a toy they will freak! It really works. Lu
To my experience, the way to deal with a temper tantrum is to ignore it. I would just make sure he is in a SAFE environment, and he can't get hurt. I used to stick my son in the ball pit, and we only had about 2 to 3 tantrums. At first I tried talking to see what's wrong, and I noticed I was fueling the fire. This has worked for me, and a few other people I know. Please just make sure he is in a safe (maybe even padded since he bangs his head), environment and he can't hurt himself. I did stay in the same room, but pretended to watch TV and not notice the screams.
Has your sons speech progfressed normally? tantruming is normal , of course , but kids that are having speech issues tend to have much more severe and frequent tantrums ....
also sensory integrationissues will also cause head banging...some kids do it when they are experiencing sensory overload
Hi, I'm a Mom with lots of head banging expierence. I would move him to a safe place, a carpeted room or give him a big pillow to help cushion the banging. Encourage him to use his words but then walk away and not give him attention. He's seeking your attention when he's head banging in hopes of getting his way. Once he see's your walking away and ignoring him, he'll find another way to get your attention. It won't happen overnight but he'll eventually stop. Just get him to a safe area and leave. Good Luck
Hi A., I had a head banger too. I asked the Dr about it and he said there really isn't much you can do about it except when you know they are going to do it to try and avert it. Take them away for it...pick them up and draw their attention to something else. My daughter used to bang her head on her crib besides other things. I had to wrap her crib rail in cloth diapers..not a pretty sight. I found she usually did it when she was tired or frustrated. The Dr said that she would one time bang her head hard enough and it would register in her brain that it hurts and she wouldn't do it any more. He was right. She did hit it really hard one time and she didn't do it any more. Before that did happen though she often would have a slight black and blue mark on her forehead from time to time. Good luck. I know that all of this can be so hard. It all does go away in time.
