Head Banging - Shrewsbury,PA

I second Denise's advice. The BEST dvds for signing are "Signing Time" (award winning). My dd knows at least 20 signs, and it's great for reducing tantrums in kids. You can get these at the library or www.signingtime.com. Good luck! :)

Sometimes it is hard when they are that young because they can not voice their fustration. I know because i have a son also who does that sometimes when he is mad. I think putting him in time out is a great idea. may be put him in the crib for time out. Try to talk to him the next time he has a temper tantrum or hold him when he gets mad. he will scream for a few minutes then he will calm down. when he can talk more and communicate more he will bang his head less.

I would discuss it with your pediatrician. If there are no identifiable reasons I would suggest you can:
•Continue to ignore it (If he gets hurt, the learning curve is very quick to stop it!)
•Teach him some basic sign language to help him express frustration or anger
•Keep working on verbal ways he can express himself
I think, in most cases, all kids go through this and they grow out of it eventually. Paying too much attention to it just gives him reason to do it as kids this age see ALL attention (pos and neg) as a good thing! Good luck!

I wouldn't worry about it too much. My son did this and so did my nephew, he also held his breath to get attention (to the point of passing out). We thought the doctor was crazy when he told us to ignore it but he did stop doing it when he stopped getting attention. We would just tell them in no uncertain terms it's unacceptable behavior and then put them in a safe place (like their bed). Once they were finished we would talk about why we don't act that way, etc. We wouldn't say a word to them during the tantrum. Don't just ignore it and not say anything about it at all. Make sure to explain why it's unacceptable and help them come up with acceptable ways to communicate once they are able.

Ok, I'll be the odd man out since most of your posts are from the school of thought that because tantrums are normal, they should be allowed, so you should wait until they outgrow it, and they won't hurt themselves too badly in a padded area. And they're right, banging heads is very common in tantrums.

This is strictly a discipline issue and kids have no problem learning not to do it if their parents don't turn their back and ignore it. Time outs are not effective unless people feel that the child having the tantrum while sitting in a specific designated place is working.

Most of my friends use the ignore method. It's unbearable to be around the kids for long-especially in public-and not fair to the child who works himself into frenzy's all the time in an effort to be heard. It's traumatic to my kids, who aren't allowed to have tantrums, and don't know why their kids are acting that way. They quit going to restaurants and certain places with their kids because they can't predict how their child will act. They leave parks at the drop of a dime when their kid "starts".

It's not expression, it's not creativity, it not mental defect, it's normal behavior they need to learn not to do, for their own self confidence and pride in achieving self control as they mature. The sooner the better. Don't short change your child's intelligence by thinking they're too young to learn right and wrong behavior.

My whole extended family of Christian homeschoolers (I'm not a christian homeschooler but I use their method) with 10-12 kids per family have a simple system to teach kids at about age 18 months-2 years old not to have tantrums and NONE of their kids have tantrums. No one questions that it is wrong behavior that parents need to teach has consequences.

My daughter is 3 and 1/2, tried her first tantrums at 18 months, and has never had an extended one because we trained her with this method. If she tears up and starts huffing and puffing out of normal defiance or anger at not getting her way, a calm verbal warning is all it takes to make her calm herself down. This is not a fluke, I know many other kids raised this way as well. The key is not letting it escalate in the very beginning, but you can curb it once it's out of control with a little more effort.

We don't need alternative methods of venting and communication, because she doesn't have tantrums blocking out her creative growth. We spend no negative time allowing her to indulge in this, so there is much more time for fun. So far her 18 month old brother is easy to teach, because he sees no tantrums or mayhem in the house. He already puffs up with pride when he decides against an episode (and he has tried a couple) and gets praise instead. It will get harder, especially for a boy, as is normal, but it will not be ignored.

My best friend's son is 7, still throwing tantrums, and my friend has been ignoring them since he was 2 (because it was NORMAL to have terrible 2s and 3s and 4s and 5s and 6s). Now he also smarts off and has other regular angry outburts-hits other kids and his parents-AKA more mature versions of tantrums. She and her husband are the kindest, gentlest, smartest people I know. They've read every poisitive discipline book and she spends every waking hour being nice and attentive and supportive to him, thinking up rewards etc, and then ignores him when he does this. She's a full time stay at home mom, her son has seen no hardship in his life that would be causing this anger. It HAS NOT WORKED. Some kids outgrow it faster. Some develop other uncontrollable behaviors. Why gamble?

Nip it in the bud! One is the perfect age to start.
If you're interested in how, let me know.

My son used to do the same thing (he's now 2 and has moved on to a different tantrum technique). We tried ignoring and that would work sometimes. Try distracting him with something else as soon as he starts the tantrum. That seemed to work most of the time for us.

Amber,

I wouldnt worry about it. My son who is now 7 used to do the same thing and he is fine now, no hyper activty or mental issues. My daughter who is 2 is now starting to do the same. With her she usually is on a carpet and if not 9 out of 10 times she moves herself to a carpet area before she does it, or she hits the couch. She hits hard enough she looks at me and says ow, my response to that usually is, well dont hit your head or how did that feel. It may sound mean but they soon realize that they arent getting the reaction out of you that they want so they quit. If I can remember right my son did it for about a year off and on. Let it run its course, with him hitting himself he wont hurt himself at all. If he does hit hard enough as long as the bump comes out he is ok. Hope this helps and good luck.

my 2 sons both went rough that stage so basiclly what i did was take their sister and start paling games and stuff with her then they would stop and want to join in so it became less and less and before i new it they both stoped by me doing the same thing over and over again

My oldest went through this for a very long time, longer than normal. He was very advanced but could not communicate the way he wanted to and would bang his head out of frustration. My mum managed to save his head from a concrete floor one time. I felt awful as his head would be covered in bruises. It took a year to get out of it as his vocab caught up with his complex thinking patterns.

At this age distraction is the best cure. Make sure he has all his snacks, adequate sleep, and hes not teething. Then when he does it say no, and pick him up and go to a different room and play.

If there are times when this doesn't work, he may just have to go bang his head if he refuses to be distracted, but choose a place where you know hes not going to do any damage to himself. the pack and play rails may be softer than a door, floor etc. Walk away and leave him there until he stops and then pick him up. This way you're not reinforcing the behavior.

Kids at this age repeat, repeat , repeat if they get attention for it because they do not understand. Our 19 month old slaps all his brothers and me. The more I have said no the more he thinks its a game. If I immediately put him down and walk off it sends a clear message that doesn't get mummy's attention and then after a minute or less I'll come back.

Hi Amber,
Its behavioural. The longer you pay attention to it the longer it will last. Put him in a safe place and ignore. pack and play is fine. The rails at the top are padded arent they if they are not pad them with a towel for a few months. That is how long it is going to last. it will get worse before it gets better, because he has got used to the attention it brings and a sudden lack of attention from you is bound to cause a worsening.
My child used gagging for years, to the same purpose. Never around me after we figured out what was going on but for years around my spouse who couldnt control his response.

Hi Amber,

Call your nearest mental health practitioner.

Good luck. D.

He's not going to hurt himself. Mine did the same thing at about 12 months, and it went on for about 3 months. At the end he would veeery gently bang his head into the wall, or walk over to something soft because he figured out it hurt, LOL. When he would do it, I just walked away. He got NO attention for doing it, good or bad. It just is a developmental phase, and he will get over it.

About 20% of kids go through a headbanging phase. It's totally normal, but if you are concerned, call your pediatrician.

My little guy did that too. It used to completely freak me out. I tried ignoring it, but that didn't work. Then one day he banged his head on the cement and it REALLY hurt and thank goodness he never did it again. Hope that helps... it's a tough one!!! but it will pass!!!

Hi Amber,
I went threw that same phase with my son when he was that age now of course he is 17 and soon to be a graduate from HS. but anyway when I went to the doctor and told them about what was happening with my son they told me that it is a type of a phase that the children go through to get attention or more attention then they already get. They told me that eventually he would grow out of it. I told him the same thing that you are mentioning that I was concerned that he might hurt himself and the doctor said that they wouldn't do it hard enough that it would cause him to hurt himself. What I did was that I would keep him busy with things to do around the house like help me with things that way he would not feel that he was ignored or left out and then i would tell him that if would stop hitting his head that i would take him to places he enjoyed like the park or McDonald to eat and some how it actually worked and he eventually stopped doing it.
Try asking your family doctor what he thinks you should do and I hope that he/she does in deed stop doing that because as a mom I know that we worry our children might injure themselves in a way that can cause a permanent damage. Wishing you the very best. GOD Bless.

Head Banging tends to be an early sign of hyperactivity, we took this warning as a way to curve my son's diet...ie we avoided red and yellow dye, and sweets, we went almost all natural with his foods, the problem now is he's 8 and still hyper but only because we dont have as much control over his diet (he likes to eat lunch at school and will only let me pack his lunch when he doesnt like the menu) Just make sure you talk to your ped.

Hi Amber~

I have no personal experience with this with which to offer you any advice so I won't waste too much of your time... I would just suggest discussing it with your son's pediatrician, as this is not an uncommon problem, and they may have some advice for you...

Also, I would go to www.askdrsears.com and search the topic. In case you are unfamiliar, this is a family of pediatricians, who all have their own children, that are well respected, etc., and there is likely something on their website about it.

Best of luck to you... I am sure this is a difficult and scary thing for you to watch...

Amber,

No matter what others may have said this type of behavior is very normal in many children! It's sounds mental, but it is quite common. My son started at about 11 months and at 18 months now he occasionally does it but not nearly as much. I talked to my pediatrician about it & he said put him on the carpet and let him do what he wants. He will eventually stop and realize that it hurts and he won't want to do it anymore. Many kids do it though!