Head Banging - Jefferson,OH

Hi L.,
My youngest son does this also. He started somewhere around a year I don't remember exactly. He will bang his head on the floor or the wall when his is upset/angry/frustrated. He also often had a bruise in the middle of his forehead from doing so. He will still do it to this day occasionally but no where near what he did when he was younger. He is 2 now and more recently he will just fall to his knees and covers his face on the floor and cry or just sulk so I guess that's an improvment. He is a very all or nothing emotional child. He talks now too so being able to say what's wrong may be the reason for the improvments. I asked my pediatrician at the time when it started and she basically told me to ignore it as much as possible and as long as he is not in serious danger just let it go, stopping him could make him more frustrated that he can't express himself. That's mostly what I did/do. Now that he's a little older I try to talk to him afterward and see if I can help him with whatever caused it - usually his big brother, but sometimes it's because he can't make a toy do something he wants it too etc. I hope this makes you feel better.

my son used to pull at his hair whenever he got tired, bored etc. He eventually grew out of it, as they say. He used to rock sometimes as well, and I think he was just working off some extra energy. Don't worry, maybe let him bang away on a carpeted floor or a pillow.

Hi L.! My son did the same thing! I was also very concerned about it, but my doctor basically told me to ignore it--saying that he wouldn't do it hard enough to really hurt himself (even though it appeared to me that he was banging his head rather hard on our hard wood floors!) I would say that it probably continued on and off for maybe 2 years. He's 5 1/2 now and no longer does that. I think it has a lot to do with not being able to verbalize what they are feeling. It is very difficult to watch though, so if you could redirect him to a softer place maybe? I would definitely mention it to your doctor just to be sure.

I urge you to look up head banging on DrGreen.com. It is a very thorough article. I would not take him to the doctor for this but mention it the next time he has a checkup or he has an appointment. I think some of this behavior can be avoided altogether by trying to head off the tantrum. Making sure he is well rested and well fed always helps.

L. Etta, mother of a 6 yr old and an 8 yr old

He doesn't need a doctor. You need to stop "scooping him up" everytime he does it. In his eyes, it works everytime. He gets your full attention.

L.,

My son did the same thing. He is 20 months old now and he started probably around 10 months. When this happened, I didn't acknowledge it because I read some where not to because they want negative attention. I did mention it to the doctor on a well visit and she said that it is normal for some kids and to direct them to banging their head on a pillow. He really hasn't done it for about one month now.

Hope this helps.

Krista

For some babies, this is a normal reaction to frustration or anger, since they're unable to communicate any other way. It seems especially normal for boys, moreso than girls. Our youngest son started doing this, too, right around 18 months. He hasn't done it in some time, but we did speak to his doctor about because they were already going to evaluate him for autism and I knew headbanging can be a sign of autism, along with other signs, not just alone. So I *would* mention it to your doctor at his next appointment, especially if it continues frequently. You're doing the right thing in taking him away from the situation so that he doesn't harm himself. You can also take advantage of this time in talking to him (yes, even at 10 months old), and telling him it's ok to be angry or mad. You don't have to go into a big speech, just, as you're picking him up say, "hey buddy I know you're upset and that's okay, but let's not hurt yourself", and leave it at that. If you continue to introduce that type of attitude to him, it will sink in, the more he goes into toddler-hood. I disagree with the "leave him be and ignore it" advice from some parents. The key is redirection, not attention. So when you scoop him up, don't coddle him, but tell him what I told you already, then redirect his attention to something else. Another toy, a cartoon, a snack, whatever you can. It's not cool to let your child sit there and continue to bang his head, which DOES pose a danger to himself. We've spoken, not only to our pediatrician about this, but also his specialist at Akron Children's Hopsital and we are all on the same page. Picking him up doesn't necessarily equate attention-giving. Good luck! I know you will get all kinds of advice. And I know it's hard to pick thru it all, and decide what's best for your situation and your child. But I firmly believe in removing my children from harm's way, even if it's at their own hands...or in this case, head! lol

Hello L....
My grandson did (and still does sometimes) the same thing. My daughter was concerned and brought it up to our Peditrician at one of his baby well checks. The Dr said that some children just do that because they do not know how to vent their anger or that some just do it just because. Anyhow.... The Dr said to ignore him and that if it is an attention getter then he will stop but it wasn't anything to be concerned with. Good Luck!

I have an 11 month old and he does the same thing...he screams at the top of his lungs too. Maybe their just being boys, my feeling is it normal and because he's getting your attention. Mine also bites..does your son do that? Sorry I don't have any advice but at least your not experiencing this on your own.

my little boy did the same thing!!! I think it was his way of communicating anger or frustration since he couldn't talk. He did outgrow it on his own....I just let him get it out (of course, making sure he wouldn't majorly injure himself) If I would try to pick him up it didn't seem to help any. Hang in there...this too shall pass :)

I know a little girl who once gave herself a minor concussion doing this. She was fine and has since stopped. I believe he'll stop when it hurts; I wouldn't worry about it.

My daughter did this as well, and, you will be glad to know they do grow out of it (she is now 18 months old). Anyhow, what I did was try to ignore it, unless she was in an area where she could hurt herself. If, for instance, she was on our hard wood floors, I would pick her up and move her to a carpeted area where she really couldn't do that much damage. He is doing it because he gets a reaction, most likely. i know it is hard to ignore, since you don't want him to hurt himself, but if you can move him to a safe place (crib, playpen, matress, carpeted floor) and let him work it out, it might help. We just had to wait it out with Tabi. It was so scary because she tried to do it on the cement once at the zoo and I caught her just in time! Good luck and hang in there!
A.

Hello! I would call the doctor, and it sounds to me like you are handling it well. Just stay calm yourself, and it may teach him to stay calm and/or calm down faster. Also - the moment you hear him begin to become frustrated (before he bangs his head) react there and then. It could teach him to respond better to his own frustration. All children are born with unique temperments (my daughter is very strong willed!) and I have tried to harness and guide her in the right direction. It isn't easy, but definitely call your doctor. I work with children of various behaviors, but they are more on the severe range. Head banging, hitting, kicking, etc., is not uncommon!!!! Good luck!

My son started this behavior at about 13 months, and it was one of the most trying times for me as a mother. Rest assured, it is totally normal behavior, especially for a boy. My son went into his 15 month check up and when the doctor saw the bruises on his head she said "Ah, we have a head-banger here!" Although it is VERY difficult to watch your child hurt themselves (though they aren't strong enough to hurt themselves beyond a bruise), it's best to treat it for what it is - a temper tantrum. Tell your son "no banging" in a calm voice and re-direct him to something else. As with any temper tantrum, he wants your attention, so over-reacting will give him exactly what he wants and will encourage the behavior. I know this is easier said than done, but if you're consistent, it will work. Eventually, he'll grow out of it...and then another form of a tantrum will take hold! The joys of parenthood :) Good luck!!!!

Hi L., My daughter started head banging when she was around 9 months (she's 14 months now). She quit for a little while and then it started back up again. I read that it's pretty common, more so in boys. Unless he's really hurting himself, don't interfere with the tantrum. Do mention it at your next doctor's visit.

Now, I've started leaving a couch pillow on the floor. So when she throws a tantrum, she walks over to it and throws herself down on it instead of the hardwood floor.

Although this one time she started banging her head on the carpet, stopped, walked to the hardwood floor, and recommenced the banging...

My son did a similar thing (starting at 6 months), where he lays on the floor and scoots on his back into the wall or a chair or something until he hits his head. I know he is frustrated when he does it and I do the same you do, I hold him which seems to help him. I also tell him that I know how frustrating things can get when you are a little person. If he gets "out of control" I put him on our living room floor and just watch him (to ensure that he doesn't hurt himself). We have enough space in the living room, where he can roll/scoot around to let his frustrations out. I have not gone to the doctor. To me, we all need to let our frustrations out some time and we all have different ways of doing that. Right now, he is little and that's how he can deal with it. My son can walk now and whenever possible, I try to re-direct him, take him outside and just let him run in the backyard. That gets some of the 'negative' energy out. I have found that boys respond well to physical exercise when frustrated. My husband has three grown sons from a previous marriage and we used to do a lot of physical exercise with them while growing up when they were angry or frustrated. (Mostly running and playing outside). Physical exercise releases a lot of good endorphins...

Hi L., I had a cousin that did the same thing when he was an infant. He did this until he was around four years old. He would bang his head so hard that I thought he was going to knock a hole in the wall. His mom would act as if there was nothing strange about him banging his head. It would make me so uncomfortable. To tell you the truth I really thought that he was retarded. But as strange as it may seem, he did grow out of it and he is fine, but now he has a daughter that does the same thing. I am sure that your son to will grow out of it.

Good luck,

Hi L.,
My daughter-in-law just went through this with my grandson. After trying several options and talking to his pediatrician (ruling out any mental or physical problems) she found that ignoring the behavior did the trick. When he found that mommy wasn't going to pay attention to this unwanted behavior any longer it went away. As far as him injuring himself the doctor said not to worry about him hurting himself because he would stop each instance of head-banging just when it really started hurting himself. My daughter-in-law said it was tough just to walk away but it paid off. Hope this helps.
T.

Hi L.,

My son is 3yrs old and just recently stopped banging his head. He started banging his head at about 18 months on the wall or any hard surface when he was angry or frustrated. He too would have red marks or even bruises on his forehead. It was awful! He was a late talker, so I think that had a lot to do with it. He actually was hitting his head on his crib when we would put him to bed, so we had to pillow proof his crib so he would not hurt himself. He started doing this when we brought home his baby brother. He had a hard time adjusting to the change of mommy having another child. Thank goodness that only lasted a couple of weeks. According to the Pediatrician, head banging is a way of expressing anger and is attention seeking. When speaking to the doctor about this behavior, it was told to ignore it b/c he was wanting attention. I can tell you that ignoring this behavior was absolutley the best solution, but at the same time it was the hardest thing we have ever done. It's horrible to watch your little baby hurt themself. My husband and I have been dealing with the head banging behavior for a couple of years now. We just hope and pray that his little brother does not have the same temper. Anyway, you definitley are not alone and it is normal behavior. Please feel free to write me back if you have any more questions. I feel like I am a pro in this area of concern. Good luck!!

Hi L. I have not had this problem but my sister did with her son. She didn't take him to a Dr. but if were me I would because there might be something that the Dr. could find. My nephew is an adult now and he didn't seem to have any problems through his going to school and was active in sports.
Good luck and I would be interested in what you find out. K.

A friend of mine's son did that. After much frustration the result finally ended up being that the poor little guy couldn't see well. They got him glasses at a year and the banging stopped. Just one thought.

My son did this, too, at about the same age. I pretty much ignored it or moved him to the carpet when I could. He also would get the occasional bruise from it. It only went on for a short time. He's 4 now and hasn't done it in years.