We have a Honda Odyssey, and I LOVE it. Although I miss my sporty, zippy little Mazda, I would be pretty content to drive my minivan until my kids go off to college. It's really a great car in so many ways.
We test-drove the Honda Odyssey, the Toyota Sienna, and the Chrysler Town & Country. I very much prefer the Odyssey because of the way it drives. I recommend your husband test-drive and Odyssey and a Sienna, because they are both high-quality minivans with mostly the same features, but they handle very differently, so that will help you make your decision.
I haven't really found any features I thought I needed but didn't. We didn't bother with a DVD player in the car, and I haven't missed it. I do have the automatic sliding doors and LOVE them. I wouldn't want a car without them.
Features I wish I had but don't: automatically-opening trunk and back-up camera. The trunk is really just a luxury, but my kids are three and 18-months, and there have absolutely been times when my arms are full of children and I would like to just press a button and open the trunk, just like I can do with the doors. The back-up camera is because this is a big-butted car, and backing it up can be a bit of a challenge. Especially in parking lots, people will walk right behind my van and assume I can see them. I can't.
Good luck.