He/she Wants Nothing for a Gift

I've learned that MOST people, when they say "nothing"

ACTUALLY MEAN

Anything.

Not "nothing".

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Some people, however, actually mean:

- Nothing. For real. Nothing. And THAT'S the only "thing" that will make them happy. Disregarding and doing anything at all makes them feel disrespected or put on the spot.

- No money spent on them

- No money spent on them but TIME spent

- Very little money spent on them

- A whole LOT of money spent on them that "looks" like no money (like a photo album, or a homemade sculpted cake, or whatever that's "home made" but the materials actually run very pricey).

- Not to have to spend money / time on others (if you get me nothing, I don't have to get you anything)

- Yes! Yes! Yes! I want a pony, and a speed boat, and a trip to paris, and those boxers, and maybe that table lamp, and a bag of jelly beans, and comfy socks, and a new pillow, and and and oh! That shiny thing over there!!!! (And are either being polite, or passive aggressive)

- An 'experience' instead of a material gift

- Some combination of the above

- Something I never even would have considered (Like the time I was asked for an introduction, or the time I was asked not to use a certain word that drove them crazy, for a whole year).

...

So, for MYSELF, when someone says "nothing", I go on an information gathering campaign. To find out what they REALLY mean.

i totally don't understand saying 'nothing' and then being pissed when you get nothing.
am i weird in not expecting people to read my mind, nor in trying to read others'?
i find that both exhausting and utterly exasperating.
yes, if my dh said 'nothing' i would assume that was exactly what he meant. and if i told him that, i'd mean it.
we're slowly paring it down until we're almost there.
i'm kinda looking forward to the point where we reach gift-free holidays.
khairete
S.

When my husband says nothing I get him what I want to get him, so he knows better now :). Even if it's underwear and socks, he tells me something. We are working on redoing the basement in his theme, so the kids and I have been picking things up year round that he can use.

When he says "nothing" I get nothing. My husband and I have been around one another so long that the coy games don't fly - LOL. There was one year, though that he had gone on and on about this watch. He had lost his job AND our house was broken into within 3 weeks of Christmas so we had seriously said "no gifts for us" but Santa brought him that watch anyways. He was super excited. :)

I think, "nothing" is just the polite answer. I always say, "nothing", but if I actually get "nothing" I think it would be a little hurtful. I think you should get him something ;)

No, probably not. If my SO said 'nothing', I would likely get a gift certificate to a favorite restaurant or for something else he might be interested in. In this way, it's 'nothing' for him to take care of, but something to show I cared and wanted him to have something anyway.

(If we weren't going to exchange gifts, there would be an open conversation about it way before birthday/holiday.)

Sometimes it's a golden opportunity to "give" that person who wants "nothing" a KIVA loan to help out someone in the world, or a gift of an animal through Heifer International or one of those organizations. I gave my nieces a KIVA loan and they were thrilled to pick out a person to help. I gave my own kids a zoo animal (through our local zoo you can help support an animal) and they remember it to this day as a favorite gift. It also teaches that giving and helping can feel really good, and isn't that what the holidays are about?

Check out your favorite group, church, non-profit, zoo etc. and "give " a gift in that person's honor. At least one small one.

My husband's answer is usually "nothing". I know from others he prefers cash. I can't really give him cash, as that's his money anyway. So I normally buy something that we need anyway and wrap it up. ie: last year I got a 6 pack of flashlights, as we always seem to need those. Two were "moms" (the pink and silver), two were dad's (the cammo and black), and two were son's - (red and blue). It's a year later and we all know who's flashlights are who's!

FOr my husband who alwas says "nothing" - other ideas I have are:
- his fav candy, coffee, breakfast (little pigs in a blanket for Xmas morning)
- a new/fav book, cd, dvd, etc that we hear/talk about but don't own
- business cards, pens with name on them, custom address labels ... (We recently started our own business)

I would NEVER, ever give "nothing."

Consider that statement to mean "I really have everything I need, but I love your thoughtfulness." Get him something nice anyway.

Christmas isn't always about getting them something they need...it's about getting them something great that they wouldn't otherwise buy themselves. Choose something that really suits them.

In our house, we are going to be remodelling the basement into a media/game room. My husband and I have agreed that this room will be our family Christmas gift. But I also know there are a couple small items he would like to have, and I will fill his stocking up with those things. :-)

Okay so when they say nothing, it is probably because AT that moment... they cannot think of anything nor have any bright ideas. Like a deer in headlights.

But if/when my Husband says that, I say "okay so really nothing, or you can't think of anything, or you know we are tight on budget therefore there is no need... to get you anything???"

I CLARIFY right there, what the heck he means.
AND then, *I* say for myself, if I even expect or want or need anything, too.
Because, if not, my Hubby cannot... read.my.mind.
Not many Husbands have that ability.

Even if *I* say nothing... it is nice if my Husband gifts me with something... because for me, its the thought behind it and that he actually took the time... to look for something or wracked his brain to think of something.
So that's the part that I appreciate. The thought of it.

I could use a new garden hose. Mine broke.

If it were my husband, I would first give him a beautifully wrapped box full of... nothing. Then I'd give him something I was sure he'd like and use... maybe a GC to Home Depot, or a contribution to the SFTF (Season Football Ticket Fund).

One year, when the children were little, he said he wanted nothing for Fathers' Day. So he got nothing - and he almost cried. Since then he's been better at responding to such queries.

Now, his aunt, on the other hand, says she doesn't LIKE presents ("I don't need any more STUFF in this house!"). So for Christmas she gets a donation in her name to a ministry she likes - and some treats for her dogs. She's happy with that. The dogs are, too.

Wrap up a sexy nightie (in your size) and put his name on the box.

Get him tickets to an event he would love.

My husband always says, "Nothing." I try to be honest. I usually can't think of anything I want, but I do expect him to think of something.

I've learned that I have to really try and think of something for him to get me, otherwise I get yet another book about the Chicago Cubs (yes, I am a fan ... no I don't care about collecting things) or a giant cardboard cut-out of Yoda (I do love Star Wars). He actually ordered it off E-Bay.

That reminds me, his mom is the same way. In their minds, they have X amount of dollars to spend on each person. If you don't specifically ask for something, they will find ways to spend that amount of money on things you may or may not actually want. It's better to be specific.

I would still ive him something small.

Something I know he'd like.

My husb has said that before but it's just not in me to give nothing.
I get him something I think he'd like.
Something he could use.
Something outside of the box.

He's always been happy & surprised.

Some things I've given him: (golf certif to go w/a buddy, basketball
tickets, lunch @ his fave restaurant, golf stuff, fave team paraphenalia)

For Christmas, if I say "nothing", that means I'm not getting you anything, so you better not get me anything. Birthdays are a different story. I like really small gifts. My husband tends to buy me a package of my favorite truffles, like $5, and it makes me so happy.

My husband and I do not really exchange gifts in general - for any holiday.

When we need stuff - we buy it. The kids get gifts. I help the kids get him a gift (although he's so busy at work, he doesn't really get to do this in return - and that's fine with me).

Would I be happy if he found a way to get me something to surprise me? Of course. But, was I equally happy when I told him for my 40th birthday I wanted Bruce Springsteen tickets and he actually bought them, got a sitter and took me out to dinner - you bet.

I would give them something. I've had lots of experience with people who say nothing because they can't think of anything and then are so happy when they get gifts.

I would be sure to tell them I wanted something if I did. And I would. lol
I also learned this from experience. When someone isn't into gift giving they sometimes don't get around to buying a gift. One of my significant others went out to get a gift for me when he realized I had one for him. Painful at the time but it's pretty funny now.

for M. getting something isnt because the person wants something it's because i want to make them happy with something that i thought they would love. i want to see them with a HUGE smile. its not about getting something they asked for or wanted..its about M. wanting to make my boyfriend happy and suprised. so it wouldnt matter if they said niothing to M.

i AM one of those stupid people who says nothing but would be hurt if my signifigant other actually got M. nothing. Although my ex this was the one area he always came through on so i didnt learn that until i met my boyfriend who was broke and listened,

My nothing means...i really cant think of anything but as long as you put thought into something whether it be free or cheap i'd be happy.

for family relatives who are poor. like my brother if i got him something he'd be upset because he cant afford to return the gift and would be embarassed. so if its a husband i'd get him something...

My husband is pretty black-and-white. When he says "nothing", he means "nothing". When he says a "Norelco Shaver", that's what he means... socks and undies... that's what he means.

Would I give nothing? I wouldn't give him an "item" just to give something. I have, in the past, made arrangements for a nice night out in lieu of a shirt and tie!

No, don't give nothing. I never really care if I get a gift, usually there's nothing I want all that much, so I won't be mad if I don't get one. However, when I do get one, it makes me so happy that he made the effort, even if it's something tiny.

Always get a gift, even if it only costs ten bucks. Wrap it really specially or something.

Updated

No, don't give nothing. I never really care if I get a gift, usually there's nothing I want all that much, so I won't be mad if I don't get one. However, when I do get one, it makes me so happy that he made the effort, even if it's something tiny.

Always get a gift, even if it only costs ten bucks. Wrap it really specially or something.

My husband and I always have lots of gifts to open from one another on Christmas morning, but most of those gifts are just everyday things we would be buying anyway, we just wrap them up for fun. For instance, I will buy my husband all his usual toiletries (razor blades, deodorant, shave cream, shampoo, chap stick, aftershave) and wrap those up. I always give him new socks, underwear and pjs at Christmas. I also wrap up specialty coffees, teas and hot choclolates that he enjoys.

Yeah, I don't do the"nothing" because I did that one year and hubby's feelings were hurt. So, if he doesn't give me something specific, I just think about what he needs and get him that.

My DH had a milestone birthday recently. I asked what he wanted. He said he had what he needed. So what I did was take the day off to give him my TIME. We went to dinner. I got my mom to babysit overnight so we could get a hotel room and not have to be woken up at 7AM by anybody. He really liked that. So maybe not "nothing" but consider something that's not material goods. Wash his car. Breakfast in bed. Do a chore he hates. Gifts of service and time can be really nice. When we had DD, friend gave us 4 vouchers for babysitting. Hallelujah! Best new parent gift.

I've also given people who want "nothing" a charitable donation in their name. A gamer might like Child's Play as a charity. Someone else might want to donate a farm animal to a third world family. Or maybe a bedkid via Sleeping Children Around the World or a donation to one of the hurrican relief efforts. When the sks' grandmother died, we donated to worldwildlife.org because she loved animals. Etc. I'd be perfectly happy to have someone "adopt" a wild animal in my name.

My hubby said that to me a few years after we were married. On a small piece of paper I wrote "nothing" and placed it in small box and wrapped it. The I placed that box in a slightly larger box and wrapped it. I think there were 7 boxes. Of course, I gave him a few other gifts.

Personally, I think you should know your SO well enough to have a good idea of what she/he wants and/or needs. Of course, it's always a good idea to also ask.

When I say "nothing," I mean "nothing." I have pretty much everything I need, and if there isn't anything I particularly want at the time, I would rather someone just wish me a happy day than increase my clutter. If s/he says s/he doesn't want anything, then I would not give anything that can be wrapped. Instead consider celebrating with breakfast in bed and morning nookie.

Get something anyway. My husband always says that in the beginning, then I press him and he tells me what he wants. He gives great gifts, but after 17 years I still find it difficult to pick something out for him. The small stuff I can do. He buys all the big stuff himself, so that makes it more difficult.

I would get something unless you have the mutual agreement not to exchange gifts. Otherwise, I interpret that as "nothing in particular" and just find something I know they will like. They are your significant other so you should know their favorite colors, teams, hobbies, artists, etc.

I used to show or tell my husband what I liked or wanted either in conversation or when we'd be in the store together. He'd half ignore me and then go back and get stuff I hated. I quit telling him what I wanted and when he asked why I told him it was because he didn't get anything I told him anyway so if I didn't tell him I couldn't be disappointed when he didn't get it. He also tends to get me jewelry...I am not a jewelry person so paying a lot for something I won't wear is such a waste. It's not "expensive" jewelry but expensive to me. I love music and he started buying me cds for everything...but not really the ones I wanted or in some cases even liked. I always feel bad taking stuff back and he gets upset because he "really tried" but having them sit, unopened and unused, seems so wasteful to me. This last year he's tried to do better but mostly because we have been in a tough spot and I really was at my witts end (not about presents...just everything) and I told him last year if he better not buy me a single thing out of his favorite hunting catalogs because doing so just to be a smarta$$ was wasteful (I hate hunting and picking out clothing, even if otherwise not bad looking, just to say he got my stuff from the hunting catalog was pi$$ing me off). It really went to he just didn't seem to know me at all.

If I really do not want anything at the moment I take a "rain check". So later, when I see that watch or a string of pearls I want - I get it as a gift for past holiday. Works for me :)