Hello All!
I am an in desperate need of help!!! Recently it has become so difficult to get my 16 month old daughter to bed. She was fine, up until a few months ago when she got sick. She was sleeping fine in her own room and falling asleep by herself. A few months ago, she got sick, so my husband and I put her in the bed with us until she got better. We have tried to get her to sleep in her bed again and she just will not fall asleep on her own. It takes about two hours for her to fall asleep. She has a night light in her room, so I don't think that she is afraid of the dark. I have also tried white nose and/or soft music. I have also tried sleepy time tea, Humphries (thinking that her gums are bothering her) and Tylenol. I even try to stay in her room to see if maybe that is more comforting to her. I have also tried the Kim West Sleep Lady Shuffle and that doesn't work either. So, after about two hours of struggling, she finally falls asleep, but not for long. She still wakes up about twice each night. My husband and I are in dire need of sleep. We also have a bedtime routine, which obviously hasn't worked either. We give her a bath, brush her teeth, read and then lay her down. So, I am not sure what to do anymore?Any suggestions?
Hello All!
First, I would like to thank everyone for their suggestions. Everything is going good so far. My daughter is finally adapting to sleeping on her own. I have been sitting with her and incorporating the 5,10,15,20 minute method. I have also been lettering her stay up a little later, about 30-45 minutes extra. I came to the conclusion that maybe she doesn't get enough time with mommy since I work all day (my husband is a stay-at-home dad). So, that is why I have been letting her stay up late, plus she is more tired by the time it is time for bed. Now she is going to bed between 8-8:30pm. We do our nightly bedtime routine, and then I lay her down and tell her that it is bedtime, and that I love her. I sit next to her crib and let her know that if she starts to fuss, mommy is going to leave the room. On the first offense, I leave for 5 minutes, yes she screams her head off, but I do not go back in until the 5 minutes are up. I go back in, sit next to the crib and tell her that if she starts fussing again, mommy is going be gone for 10 minutes this time, and so on. So far, it has been working. She is also doing better at sleeping though the night. She started by sleeping until 5am, now she is sleeping until 6am! So, we are doing good and getting more sleep. It takes discipline, mainly for us, because sometimes we just want to give up, but we have been sticking to it and it is working!
Thank you again for all of the suggestions,
L. R.
Hi L.,
I am a mother of 3. I had trouble w/ one of my kids in my bed. I had to just be firm, and let him cry it out. As long as you know she is safe, dry, and not hungry, it is ok to let her cry. I know the guilt can be brutal, but honestly, its the only thing that worked for us. And we tried EVERYTHING!! It took less than a week, but well worth the tough nights. Good luck!
T.
If you get ANY good advice let me know! This sounds exactly like my daughter and it's frustrating!!! She had hand foot and mouth disease and was in bed with us for a week, and since then it's been bedtime nightmare! We do the same things...routine, lay with her, but even if my husband manages to sneak out, she still comes back in our room a few hours later...we dont' know what to do! Let me know if you get any good advice! We need some too!
Hi L.,
I am fortunate to have not experienced this problem myself, but it comes up all the time on Supernanny!
Some things Supernanny suggests are sitting in a chair by the child's crib until she falls asleep, but do not pick her up. Each night, move the chair a little further away from the crib, but do not get her out! If she's getting out of the bed, Supernanny says to keep putting her back in her own bed as many times as it takes, but do not let her get in bed with you. Eventually, the baby will figure out that she has to go to sleep in her own bed and Mommy and Daddy are not getting her up!
Good luck!
-P.
Have you tried the crying out method? Do the bedtime routine and assure her she's okay. Do not stay in her room. Just put her down and say goodnight. Then leave the room. She will cry, no doubt, but after doing this for a week or less, she will realize that when she's put into her bed and you leave the room, she's fine. I've had to do this w/ my son and it works.
I see you've tried a lot of things, but how long have you tried any of them? My daughter is stubborn, um I mean persistant, and we've had our battles over lots of things including sleep. For some kids it takes a long time to settle into that falling asleep on their own, in their own space thing. It just does. Our daughter never slept in a crib. We own one, she just never slept in it. We co-slept until 1 year when none of us were getting any sleep because we're all bed hogs. At that time we tried the crib and it was a disaster, so I just gave her the guest bed which happed to be a queen sized futon on a fairly low platform. I actually had to sleep with her for a month to help with the transition. Then I would stay with her until she fell asleep. Then I'd just stay long enough to nurse a bit and read her a story. At 18 months she suddenly self-weaned and she was happy with stories and songs generally. She's 4 now and we still have occassional struggles that can last up to 3 weeks where we just have to keep returning to her to bed and reminding her that we've completed the "story, book, and song" part of the night and now she needs to go to sleep. Oh she'll cry and yell and stomp her feet, but in the end all will be calm again. So, all I can recommend is that you choose a strategy and stick it out for a month or so with as few changes as possible. Make it as easy on the three of you as possible and just just go with it. Use whatever strategy is appealing, but STICK IT OUT! Good luck!
M.
I have no advise for you, we did the same thing my son has asthma and everytime he had an attach or got cold(very often) I put him in my bed so I could hear him breathe. He just turned 3 and started sleeping in his own bed about 4 months ago. I tell him now when he asks that there is no room for all of us, depending on what she understands try that. Get her a new cuddle buddy and let her know that it has to stay in her bed so try to get her to really want it maybe she could pick it out. or new sheets/pillow case, etc. Good luck It definately puts a damper on the love life but just think in a few years she will be in school and you will miss that cuddle time with her. Its not ALL bad. Could you get her to sleep in your bed then after awhile carry her into her own, didn't work for us he woke up right away but some kids sleep deeper than others. Good luck!
I know my sister had great luck with the No Cry Sleep Method book, and there is now a NCSM for Toddlers out. I am working at getting it read right now to see if we can overcome some of our sleep issues too.
Good luck
L. - Try the 5,10,15,20 min method? I did this for my daughter when she was 16mths as well. I was having the same problems as you but tried this method. Keep your bedtime routine. Before you start the bedtime routine... inform her 30mins beforehand that it will be bedtime in 30 mins... and count down by 10 mins. Once the 30mins. have reached do the bedtime routine. I'm assuming she's still in a crib? Go in read to her and at the same time start playing her soft music, once you're done reading, tell you love her but it's bedtime and that you'll see her in the morning. Lay her down and I'm sure she'll be crying or screaming her head off but walk away and tell her it's okay and close the door but not all the way. Wait 5 mins and if she's still screaming and crying walk back in but do not pick her up and calm her down - once again repeating that it's bedtime and you love her and you'll see her in the morning. Walk away and close the door - this time wait 10 mins... repeat and then do 15mins repeat and then do 20 mins, 30mins. It's hard the first couple days but then she'll get into the routine. It took my daughter about 3 days to get used to it and after a week it was a breeze because then she was looking forward to going to bed at naptime and bedtime. I hope this works for you.
