K.,
Your son just sounds like he needs his mama. Remember that his entire existence (outside of the nine weeks since his birth) has not just been with you, but inside of your body. He has been literally surrounded by the way you smell, the beat of your heart, and the physical pressure of your skin around him. According to child development specialists, he doesn't even know yet that you and he are separate beings. A nine week old is NOT manipulating you. He is not capable of that kind of understanding and foresight. I'm sure you can imagine the intense fear and anxiety that separating from you causes him. Please, please, PLEASE for your son's sake, ignore the well-meaning advice that you need to let him cry or he will never learn to be independent. This is simply not true. He needs his mama, and crying is his only way to tell you that. Your son will learn to be independent from you. However, now is not the time for this lesson. Nine week olds are not MEANT to be independent from their mothers. If you refuse to respond to his needs now (and yes, comfort and security are needs for a newborn) you will teach him that he cannot trust you to meet them. Many studies have shown that babies who are responded to immediately when they cry grow up to be better adjusted, more independent adults.
Get a sling, and wear him in it as much as you can. The Snugli is not the best choice for a sling. Because of the way baby sits on that little swatch of fabric between his legs, his entire weight rests right on his developing spinal column. A better option would be a ring sling, a pouch or a mei tai. They have large swatches of fabric that go under the legs and across baby's butt to provide secure support without pressure points. www.wearyourbaby.com is a great resource. They have summaries of the different types of slings, directions for using them, even streaming video that show you how to put baby in the sling. There are tons of online retailers that sell all different types of baby carriers. You also might consider swaddling. My second baby was swaddled constantly until she was three months old. There have been many studies showing the benefit of swaddling - baby's heart rate drops, his breathing gets deeper, and the levels of stress hormones in his blood drop. My daughter is a year old, and I still wear her in the sling often when we go out. She loves being close to me, and she is happy to interact with the world from the safety of my arms. It was a lifesaver when she was a baby too, and I wanted to spend time with her older sister or get something done around the house. The other advantage of an adjustable sling (like a mei tai or a ring sling) is that when you pass your son to daddy, he still has the familiar sling around him to gently help him get used to being held by daddy instead of mommy.
Never fear, your son will grow out of this stage. You will not spoil him by holding him. One of my favorite parenting quotes is "A need met will go away." If you ignore needs, they don't go away; they get more intense. If you meet your son's need for you, he will grow up learning that he can trust you. He will seek out independence knowing that he can explore freely and that you will always be there to reassure him when he needs it. I held both my daughters in the sling constantly until they were around six months old. Both of them are extremely independent. In fact, my friends with needy, clingy babies, the ones who leave their children to cry it out so they "learn to be independent," just can't understand why my girls are so adventurous.
If you can manage to read a book, Dr Sears' book "The Fussy Baby Book" is a wonderful resource for loving care of a high-needs baby. Dr. Sears pioneered the principles behind Attachment Parenting, which has been so helpful to my family. For more information about the principles of attachment parenting, you can check out the website www.attachmentparenting.org. Another great book is "The Happiest Baby on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp. He talks about how babies' brains are not fully developed until they are at least three months old - the traditional end of the "newborn" period. He offers several solutions to help newborn, including swaddling, swaying, shushing and several others. It is a very helpful book, and it puts some complex biology into layman's terms.
Follow your heart - you know what your son needs. As much as you can, tune out the naysayers who tell you that you are spoiling your son, that he will never learn to be independent. One of my biggest parenting realizations is this... I don't have to parent the same way my child's entire life. Just because I choose to do something when my baby is two months old, doesn't mean that I will still be doing it when she is 13 years old. Do what works best for your family now. When your son is ready to be more separate from you, it won't be a heartbreaking battle. It will come naturally.
Best of luck,
S. L.