Ok let me start out by saying right now i have A LOT on my plate. I made an emergency move from the Bay area about 2 weeks ago to move back in with my granny. She had a major stroke and is STILL in the CCU ... she is just now starting to make some progress and it looks like we aren't going to have to worry about making funeral arrangements. My bf was down here with her interviewing for jobs on the night that she had a seizure so fortunately she had someone here... which is why we have moved in with her. SHe can no longer live on her own.
We have had overnight (several nights in a row at times) visits here before and my son has always slept fairly well (for him... he NEVER sleeps through the night) and had no problem eating. Not this time. We both had a bout of the stomach flu last week, but we are over it. All my son wants to do is nurse, nurse and nurse again and he is back to getting up 4-5 times a night. He is VERY fussy and nothing seems to soothe him other than me holding him. Which is hard to do because I am back and forth to the hospital and trying to unpack our belongings and sort through things. I'm feeling EXHAUSTED and OVERWHELMED because I have no help from my son's father. Asking him only irritates me more because I KNOW he sees all of what is going on and yet he just sits on his butt on his computer ALL DAY long and does nothing... except gets annoyed by his son.
The issues that concern me most are my son's not eating (which he has never really ate well, but now it's MUCh worse) and his lack of sleep. He doesn't have a fever, no teeth seem to be coming in at the moment, no cold symptoms... I am just at a loss. RIght now we have no pediatrician, but in my experience thus far they do nothing to help me anyways... the moms on here do a much better job...
Any thoughts?
THanks moms!
J.,
Stop!~~~ Take a deep breath... and nicely (without frustration in your voice or choice of words) ask your bf for some help. Explain to him that you are very overwhelmed and will need his help with different things during this hard situation.
Depending on his age, he might be kind enough to help.
Good luck
C.
It always seems that when we need our children to just be themselves through a challenging situation, that is the time when they change the most! Children are pretty sensitive with what is going on, even if they don't understand it.
Your son is most likely feeling the stress and anxiety surrounding the situation. I understand and sympathize, we have been through a similar situation while we were in college & ended up 2000 miles away. One thing I can suggest is that at every chance you get, give your little one a hug and tell him you love him. I understand your exhaustion, but right now his world is turned upside down as well & he is in need of reassurance and love.He needs to know that he is still safe and secure. As soon as that feeling of security is returned, he will go back to being his happy little self.
Warmly,
S.
Give your child a warm bath, then feed him make sure he burps then put him down in his crib.
Now you take a warm shower, night gown on an have a cup of green tea.
Thank the lord above for your day,
you have a place to stay, your nanny is alive, you have the father of your child with you and your baby.
Life is hard, god does not give you more then you can handel. In what area do you live? I am not much of a driver but if is some where close to me, i would not mind stopping by and helping you get your self organized.
Okay you might not like my response but it is the truth and sometimes it's not what we want to hear. But hope it helps some how.
Okay Wonderwoman, Yes you are wonderwoman because you are doing it all. I consider any woman who can be the wife, (you are living together) mom, nurse, house keeper, taxi driver, gardner, schedule keeper, Laundry mate, chief, night shift worker and Movier, to be a wonderwoman. So take a deep breath go for a walk and pull yourself together.
What needs to be done today? that is the only important thing there is. Make a list, this list should not take you all day to make. Only but things on the list that are not an everyday duty. Like unpack, clean out, shopping, etc. Then try to takle one thing a day. What is most important is your granny and Baby and BF (not in that order). I know it doesn't feel that way. But tomorrow the house will be dirty again if you spent all day cleaning it today. Tomorrow your son will be all grown up. (yes, 18 years really do fly by that fast).
It sounds like your son needs extra time spent with him. From both of you. Your spending lots of time at the hospital and his life as he knew it is in a box somewhere misplaced. Visiting is one thing, he knows something is diffrent this time. And it's wierd and not right yet. I'm sure you feel the same way. It's not home (Yet). Let him help you, let him put his things where they need to be. Ask him where he wants them. Make him a space. Buy a little table his size for snacks and sit and have a tea party. Even little boys like tea parties with real food and little dishes. Then let him help you wash them for next time. You and daddy can go for a walk with him around your new neighborhood. Let him get out to look at new things or collect rocks for your garden. Or flowers for your new house (even if they are weeds). Do new fun things together.
I know your busy, but if your man is anything like mine asking him to do more only makes him mad and me madder. He will do a crappy job at it just so you won't ask him again. So really he is no help at all. Except that now and move on. When he has an issue with something tell him if he has time then he should do it, otherwize you are doing the best you can and your family comes first. If he isn't sleeping through the night maybe now is a good time to teach him that. I've heard there is a no cry method or a cry it out method. But sleeping through the night before granny gets home would be helpful. I think he is looking for comfort but nursing isn't helping. Try serving things he likes in cool cookie cutter shapes. I think he'll get his appetite back when he is more comfortable. So you have to make this home, for him. The rest will get done. Maybe now is a good time to stop the booby also. I don't know how much care your granny will need when she does come home. But you should think about that now, how easy will it be for you to stop what your doing and nurse him. He is big enough to do the sippy cup. And just so you know it's easier on them to deal with alot of change at once and get use to it. Then to constantly having things change on them. Once he gets use to the new home, then your going to make him sleep through the night, then he gets use to that you'll take away booby. Make the changes now he will deal with them in a weeks time and your life will be ready to deal with granny.
You can do this, your a Great mom and a (Great) Grand daughter, and a Great GF for doing it all. Remember to take care of you first. No-one else will remember to take care of you. They don't think that way. You can't keep giving money from the penny jar if you never put any money in it. Same goes for you. A mom who takes time for herself makes for a better mommy. You can't miss someone if you never leave. But you can show them how much they were missed when you return. Sometimes it's a walk around the block to think of something else or just to pull your thoughts together until they make sense, (without someone crying or wanting your attention for something else). My prayers are with you, I hope your granny gets well enough to come home, and that your son can grow to love her and really know her. It's not going to be easy but I promise it will get easier. Make the changes now so that you can start making it easier. As long as he is eating something I wouldn't worry to much, just worry about making him at home.
My son cried for 3 days straight anytime we changed something. Even from shorts to long pants. His car seat from the baby one to the bigger one. When he was 4 I finally sat him down and told him he was to old to cry over stupid things he knew would change like shorts and long pants. I literally had to hide the shorts or long pants and give him no other choice.
This to will pass. God bless you for being so wonderful, and good luck with all this. J.
