B.D.
Hi Mrs. Beth. I am a daycare provider and my first child that I took in to care for had ADHD. He had already been kicked out of a couple of daycare centers, and basically I was his mom's last hope. He, too, had a mean streak, was very loud, rude, etc. When he came to me he was about to turn 4 a couple months thereafter, and he was a tough case to be sure. He and I went through a lot together and at times I had to ask myself what I was thinking putting myself through the trouble. Afterall, he wasn't my child. His mom begged of me not to give up on him, telling me there was goodness in him, and I did see it here and there. I knew she was desperate, and I liked her a lot (him too, regardless) so I stuck it out. Of course, after time, I grew to love this child because I realized that it wasn't his fault-he had a problem, and his family were great people. When he turned 5 he started kindergarten and I took care of him before and after school. It was when he started school that the real problems started. He had problems dealing with anything relating to school, including riding the bus. He couldn't concentrate or grasp the work. He made no friends and was sometimes downright mean to his classmates. He was direspectful to his teacher or any other authority. One day I went to pick him up from the principle's office and he was under a table and wouldn't come out (just to give a few expamples of his behavior) I assisted his mom on going to meetings at the school because by this time I knew him almost as well as she did. The school was constantly calling her to come pick him up, etc. Long story short, after much headache, heartache, and all that goes along with any child who has a condition (and it turned out he has more than just ADHD), his mom agreed to put him on medication. It helped him so much, it was like night and day. It took several weeks after he started the medication for us to notice a difference, and they have had to change his meds several times to find the right balance that works for him. That was 3 years ago and he is now in the third grade and doing awesome. I no longer care for him, but have stayed close with the family and see him a couple times a year. He has matured so much, and is a really great kid. His mom takes him off the meds during the summer as she is home now to take care of him herself. She was opposed to giving him the medication in the first place, but now feels she made the best choice by him. I, myself, am glad that I never gave up on him because I have to be honest and say I almost did several times. We have a great relationship and he loves me and repects me a lot and I think it's becaue he knows I didn't give up on him, like everyone else did. It sounds to me like your son has a little worse case than this child I'm talking about, but contrary to what some others have said, I don't think you should throw in the towel quite yet. We have to be the voice for our children because they don't know how to speak for themselves. I admire this boys mother because she never gave up on him. The rewards for her persistance paid off. He is thriving and doing well. Medicate if necessary. Be encouraged, and God Bless, B.