Having a Hard Time Turning 30!! - Berea,KY

Updated on October 23, 2011
B.D. asks from Augusta, GA
22 answers

My birthday is December 26th and i'm dreading it! I dont know if its knowing that 30 is that much closer to being old and dying or that Im not where I want to be in my life at this point. maybe its both! I have an amazing son that is my entire world but ive never been married or lived alone. I have lived with one or both of my parents my whole life because of financial reasons. Im not working right now and im having a very hard time finding a job where I live. I feel like I must be crazy to feel like this. Is this normal? I had a complete stranger make a comment today about my age. She thought I was 17. I use to hate when people said I looked like a teenager when i was an adult. now i dont mind at all. but although i may look alot younger my age is still bothering me..

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K.U.

answers from Detroit on

Wait until you are 39 like me and staring down the barrel at 40 and rapidly approaching cougar status...

But really, I know so much more now, than I did at 29. What I lose in youth I gain in wisdom. And I know so many people who discovered that their 30s were so much better than their 20s, and their 40s were even better than their 30s, and their 50s were even BETTER! :)

2 moms found this helpful
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D.S.

answers from New York on

OMG!! I totally get it. 40 didn't bother me and 50 didn't bother me but 30 really did. I like you always looked younger then I was but I didn't like coming out of my 20's. I was married, had two beautiful kids but I liked being twenty something lol!! NOT 30. Anyway I got over it, I had no choice lol!! You will be fine, but I understand where you are coming from, it's like now I am a real adult even though I feel like a kid inside. I'm 51 soon to be 52 and I still feel 20 my body doesn't but my spirit does!! It's only a number, and you can rock it!! Happy Birthday!!!

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

I remember being horrified when I was turning thirty. I am now about to be fifty four on Tuesday. Enjoy your age! Celebrate! So what if you are living with parents or have problems you can just celebrate! And I am going to celebrate my age. We are alive! We have opportunities to grow. Never forget that!

8 moms found this helpful
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J.J.

answers from Dallas on

girl, i can relate, i just turned 32 on thursday! i was proud to turn 30, like oh this is okay, still close to 20's...32 though...that's like midlife (or what i used to think back in the day).
probably what bothers you is what bothers me, not being where we expected to be in life, right?
i'm not married
i'm a single mom
i've never bought a home
i live in a mobile home
i only have one child...
i THOUGHT i'd be married, have a boy & girl, a brick home, be afluent or at least not struggling, but I AM of course financially struggling. i thought i'd be successful in the medical field, which i'm not. i thought my mom would still be here & assumed i'd have a lot of family support....and girl....life just doesn't turn out the way we thought it would or should. i am trying to let go of that so i'm not disappointed. age is just, well age. ppl are 40, 50, 60 and starting over. it's just LIFE. you'll get to where you want/need to go. the age thing feels big but it's irrelevant. so what if i don't have what i thought i would have by now. i may have it ONE day. God's timing is WAY different than my timing. there's a season for everything and right now, you're where you're supposed to be, and i'm where i'm supposed to be. :) sorry for the lengthy post but i hope you think about it & i hope it helps you. i think the majority of us can really relate. :)

3 moms found this helpful
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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

Your 30s are awesome! You really come into your own in that decade! So far the 40s are pretty fantastic too!! Don't dread it - embrace it! I wouldn't take my 20s again for anything, and I had a great time, but love your 30s and they'll love you back!

3 moms found this helpful
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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

My birthday is tomorrow. Going to be 37. My 30th I couldn't wait for. Yea, I'm finally somehow legitamate. I look young too.

This birthday, I'm conflicted.

My advice is to sit down and write stream-of-conscious re: three things:
1. your age, the meaning, your accomplishments, what you look and feel like.
2. what your grateful for
3. what you want for the next few years.

I did that at 35 when I was going through a divorce and it really changed my perspective. Not being where you want to be is not a bad thing. In fact, the more discomfort, the more likelihood of change.

3 moms found this helpful
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D.M.

answers from Denver on

Sheila said it best : )

2 moms found this helpful

I.X.

answers from Los Angeles on

just keep in mind that its all relative. 30 will sound young to you in 5 years! I my self started thinking of my self as 30 at age 27 to lessen the shock. But in a blink of an eye you will be 35 and then what? You will turn 40, and so what? What are you afraid of? I myself used to value myself for my beauty and not much else so growing old seemed like a terrifying loss. But now I realize that my value as a beautiful woman by society is nothing compared to my value in the sight of God. God sees my heart. These days (at 36) having overcome an eating disorder, a father who only praised me for being beautiful, and a life consumed with youth and beauty, I have come to recognize that my worth is not in my youth and beauty but in my character and what God makes of me.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

I'm 42 and trust me when I say 40 is much worse and now I even have friends turning 50. YIKES!
Seriously though it sounds like your life is not where you want it to be. If you can't find a job in your town, perhaps you will have to move or go back to school so you can get a job. At this point in your life you probably want some more Independence. You can make this happen!
HaPpY BiRtHdAy!!!

2 moms found this helpful

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

Being in your 30s rocks! I really believe it is all in your attitude and you can choose what you think. In my 20s I had a lot of friends in their 30s who were very cool and I used them as role models ;) Anyway - yes, it is hard to get older and feel like you are losing your youth, but imagine yourself at 60 looking back on the years. You will laugh at yourself for thinking you are getting old at 30. You are a young pup with all your life ahead of you still. I have an old boss who raised her kids and at age 40 something went and got her PhD. She was the leader of a very cool science group and she was so smart. I have 2 friends who after age 35 went and got their bachelor degrees and then went on to graduate school and are doing what they love. It sounds like you are not quite content with where you are in life. Make a list of where you want to be...what you want to accomplish. Imagine yourself at your best and imagine living your dream life! Then figure out a way to slowly work towards one of your goals. Take charge!!!

2 moms found this helpful

M.J.

answers from Milwaukee on

I think your life is going to come together in your 30's. Mine did!! My 20's were hard, hectic, emotional, fun, wild, & crazy. In my 20's I got my degree, lived with friends, dated a lot of guys, lots of heartbreak etc. In my 30's everything really calmed down. I still loved fun but could relax about all the things that were not going my way. Much more layed back with a wiser view on stuff. I got married in my 30's, had my kids in my 30's, got a great job in my 30's etc. Sounds like your 30's will be similar.

I am getting closer to 41 and so far am not really enjoying my 40's. Then again I have 3 young kids and don't really have much time for myself.

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R.C.

answers from Houston on

When I turned 30 I was by myself with my 2 young
Children due to my husband always home to work
Out of state I could not work at th time .I cryed my eyes out ,to only find out my
30's have been the best for me things begain to look up for me
My children are older I was able to work and I feel I know more now
I make better smarter decisions I enjoy life more so cry or celebrate
Do what you feel on this day but I promise life gets better and 30 does not mean your getting old by any means are u old .

1 mom found this helpful
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R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

I'm 53. Believe me, 30 is incredibly young.

1 mom found this helpful

S.L.

answers from Kansas City on

Just a thought but life isn't what you have or have done or will have but who you are. You have a son and that's so much to be thankful for. I do know what you mean about being 30 though but you'll look back and realize that it's not old at all some day. :-) I got a book at the grocery store called "Great at any Age" and has so many people who didn't start or do, or be anything major until very old, like even 100. Like Ichijirou Araya climbed mount Fuji at age 100. Get it if you can find it and it will help you see how many years you most likely have ahead of you. Enjoy being 30!!! I'm more than twice your age and my birthday is coming up in Dec. too.....AGAIN. :-)

1 mom found this helpful
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T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

The is an Eagle's song: "GET OVER IT", really fun, really ture....31 is just right around the corner for you. Get a job, get a place of your own for your and your boy, and find a life just for YOU.

Blessings....

1 mom found this helpful
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M.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

I am only smiling because it really felt like last week I was thinking the same thing...I am now 38. I truly still feel like i am in my 20s. I have no idea how I made it to 30 let alone 38 already lol. All I can say is that it felt like 10 seconds ago I was having a panic attack about being 30 and now I am very close to the 40s attick..so my only advice......say SCREW IT!!. Don't act your age, act how you feel. Love your children, husband, family, friends. Don't worry about the rest. This is your first glimpse on how really short lfe is,..MAKE THE MOST OF IT - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

1 mom found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

Count your blessings.
You have beautiful child.
You have family you can count on.
You are still young and you look like a teenager!
You are living a pretty charmed life.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.P.

answers from Pittsfield on

I didn't mind turning 30, but turning 40 kinda did :/

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K.B.

answers from Cincinnati on

I can totally feel your pain. I turned 30 last December and it was really rough. I'm fairly certain that turning 40 will be a lot easier for me. I think the reason that it was so difficult for me is that I have never established a solid career for myself and that really bothers me. I met my husband while I was in college and I didn't finish, got married, then started having kids/staying home, and well..here I am. On a personal level, I'm very accomplished: married, 4 kids, own a home, etc..but, professionally, I'm lacking. So, I applied to school, got accepted, and I start class on Jan. 9th. I WILL finish my degree in 1.5-2 years and then either start working again or continue on to graduate school. For me, it was not having a degree or career. It sounds like for you, it's not living independently. Try to work on getting in a financial position to live on your own in the next year or two. My personal goal is to have at least one degree and be in an established career by the time I am 40. I tried to be VERY realistic about my goal. Maybe setting a realistic goal will help you out!

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M.H.

answers from Atlanta on

I literally had a meltdown when a friend announced at church that it was my birthday and I had hit the big 3 0. She thought she was being sweet. I cried like a baby. I had no idea why at the time, but it was exactly what you said. I was not where I wanted to be with my life. After a deeper look, I realized I was exactly where God wanted me to be. It was life changing when I realized that.

You do what you do because you are supposed to. We are where we are because our efforts have put us there. Sometimes we think we fall short. Sometimes we far exceed our own expectations. As a woman who was happy to turn 50, my advise to you is to take a deep breath and relax. Take life as it comes and enjoy it. It's short...

God bless!
M.

L._.

answers from San Diego on

Read Gloria Copelands book called Live Long Live Strong. 30 is still the beginning of life.

G.M.

answers from Phoenix on

For me, turning 30 wasn't too bad, however I did feel what you are feeling. I am now 41 and it's even worse. I don't want to be in the fourth decade. There is so much that I wanted to do before hand, and I'm not where I want to be either due to finances, jobless..etc. Grinning and bearing it takes a toll too.
Hang in there. It is normal to feel the way you do. :-D

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