Having a Hard Time Communicating with Step-Mother

SORRY but when I read this I got so mad!!! I am a step mom to a 7 year old son. Fortunatlly for me my husband has custody of him since he was 3 months and she has nothing to do with him. I know all the laws regarding my place and that woman should too.

First: You have earned the right to know what is going on in your sons life. She has no authority (unless your ex has givin it to her)

Second: I do not know where you live but i live in Mass it is against the law for her to bring him into the ER for anything unless the parents are notified. Then you husband gave her written permission and you can check with the hospital. The form is "Consent for treatment of a minor". It needs to be signed by BOTH parents!!! If she took him to the ER and there is not one on file you can tell them that she is not authorized and they can get into alot of trouble. My son got hurt at daycare and I took him to the ER and they would not treat him until his father or mother showed up. They then signed this paper and I carry it around with me all the time. The only other way if she said that she was you. If she did that I would bring it up at the next court date.

Third: It is again against the law in MASS for the public school system to talk to her about anything!!!!! You can talk to the princilpe about that. I would not bother the teacher they have a hard enough time as it is.

I am sorry for the spelling errors but I was so upset for you. I have read tons of law books so if you ever need anything please e-mail me ____@____.com I will do the best that I can to help you!! I am helping a friend of mine right now, so I am pretty up to date. Let us know what happened.

Happy Holidays
N.

Hi T..
My husband is a stepparent. The wife of my son's father is a stepparent. I feel that the stepmom is definitely overstepping her bounds and why your ex hasn't stood up to her yet, is beyond me. If there are concerns regarding your son's schooling, how come the school hasn't made appointments for both you and the stepmom (or some combination of you three) to be present together? T., I've got more questions than answers. Have you spoken with the school officials about this (and other concerns)? Try speaking with the school officials and your concerns - they may be able to come up with something that will satisfy everyone. Good Luck.

hi T., my name is A. i am also a step-mom (well engaged), i have a 7 year old stepson, who has done somethings that are wrong, but i never once stood out of my boundries, i would never even dream about going to the child's school, ect. thats crazy. but i get along with his mother, infact i am the one who does all the comunicating, my fiance doesnt talk to his ex. i like it better that way. as i was reading your profile i couldnt believe it, alot of it reminds me of me, i am going to start school for ecd. i also had my children young i am 21 and have 3 children of my own, and they are my world. i feel as if we have alot in common, and feel like we could become friends, so feel free to contact me my direct email address is ____@____.com i would love to hear from you

Hi,
I know you wrote this request a long time ago but I have to give you my opinion because it's different from everyone else's. The stepmom is NOT overstepping her bounds. Whether you want to hear it or not, when you and your husband divorced and remarried (and you eventually might too), you now opened the parenting of your child to other people. Others who care about your child and want to raise him to the best of their ability. To ignore his education and health is terrible-- it shows the stepparent doesn't care. She has every right to set up a parent-teacher conference. Who are you to think she doesn't? If she is taking part in his upbringing, she is entitled to her own meeting with his teacher. Wouldn't you rather she know how to help him with homework and know what's going on in school? Sounds more like you think everything should go through you and you are quite wrong there. She also has every right to take your child to the ER. Would you rather your child die because his stepmom was told she didn't have that right? I mean, come on, T.! Stop being such a controlling parent and learn to let go. Your child (the reason you breathe) will always love you. Allow others to love and CARE FOR him too. Learn to appreciate that she does care. The opposite would be truly tragic.

Your school should not allow her to come in and make appointments without you or your ex. I need to go to the school and talk with the principal and make this known, they should respect your wishes, after all, she is not his biological parent. As for the other things, I hate to say it, but looks like you will have to have a court order in place to stop her from doing things without your or your husbands concent. You may talk to your doctor, and if she brings him in, they will call you or your ex to make sure she has permission to do so from either of you. I feel your pain, have been there myself...good luck.

Well I have not much to add to the great advice you have already gotten. I just wanted to say I hope things work out for you.

Call the school definetly. Make an appointment with the principal, the guidance counselor, and the teacher.

Write all this stuff down for the next court case. Document everything.

And I hope you have a lawyer. They are so expensive, I know. But it does make a big difference to have a lawyer - one you feel is on your side.

My sister is going through custody issues without a lawyer and her ex has a good lawyer and she was getting nowhere. My Mom decided to help her out with a lawyer eventhough she can not afford much either.

I wonder if this stepmom has any children of her own? If your son is the only child in her life, that might explain her possessiveness and controling behavior. Underneath it all she might be insecure. Or she just might be controlling and clueless! Good luck.

That is WAY over stepping her boundaries. Tell the school they are not to talk to her,If you are is legal guardian you can do that. He is your son, don't let anyone push you around. Sounds like your doing a great job.I'm a single mom too-its not easy but don't let your ex feel like he's got one up on you because he's in a relationship.