Having 2Nd baby--Is Exhaustion Normal?

Updated on July 15, 2010
D.S. asks from Pittsburgh, PA
17 answers

Good morning moms,

After a lot of deliberation my husband and I decided to try for another baby. Our daughter will be three in a couple of months and we are having baby number two in late Sept/early October. I work full time and my husband stays home with our daughter and has recently gone back to school. At any rate I am stressed from all that needs to get done at work and home and I am exhausted it seems like all the time. I am in my 3rd trimester so I know the fatigue is likely back, but even after going to bed at the same time as my daughter 8:30 p.m. and not getting out of bed until 6:30 a.m. I am still very tired. I am just wondering if other moms have been this tired and whether you have any tips for overcoming the fatigue? I can't take time off as I need to finish soooo many things at work before I take maternity leave and the house...well we need to get ready for the new baby...so slowing down might be hard. Anyhow, feedback welcomed and thank you!

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So What Happened?

Thank you so much for the all the suggestions. I will speak to my doctor at my next visit and ask about a thyroid check. I am having my iron checked with my glucose tolerance test as I was borderline anemic in my first trimester so the doctor already threw it in. I did not even think that maybe I could be nearing anemia again. Hopefully it is just regular fatigue, but as you pointed out better check! Thanks again for all the suggestions!

More Answers

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T.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

I just had my second 4 months agao and was very tired to. Still Am!! My son is going to be 3 next month and my daughter is 4 months. I am in the boat where my husband works afternoon to night and i work days, so it is just me during the week. Eventually you just get used to being tired. I dont get to bed till close to 10, i get up with the baby and im up for the day at 5am. I take care of the kids, work a full time job, cook, clean, do laundry, shopping, etc. You will still be tired after the baby comes so you just get used to it. It wont be tired forever, but sorry i have no tips to help. I guess take a little cat nap in the evening if you can and keep going to bed early. You are not alone. Just eat healthy, take your vitamins, hang in there and rest when you can.

3 moms found this helpful
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R.M.

answers from San Diego on

Is there a mommy co-op in your area. When you add a second baby, the pregnancy can be exhausting not to mention, caring for a toddler, working full time, not getting enough sleep and running a household. I would check out Mops.com and see if they have any co-ops in your area. If your budget permits it I would also get a regular babysitter/nanny to let you nap after work for an hour. I couldn't afford this so, adopted Grandparents and a wonderful Christian mom would take my kids once or twice a week. Another, thing try to keep things simple to avoid being overwhelmed. They don't stay little for long it just feels like it. Try to enjoy the moments while you are swimming in the sea of the pre-school years. I have found that a "tailored to my family" routine schedule helped keep me on track. Best Wishes...I will be praying for you.

2 moms found this helpful

B.A.

answers from Saginaw on

Let the house go...and rest up. I remember (not kidding) coming home from work around 5:30, eating dinner and going straight to bed while my husband took care of our daughter. Rest as much and when you can...and yes you'll feel totally exhausted most days.
And like I said let the housework go, you will have to when baby number 2 comes anyway. Just do the bare necessities.

Good luck and Congratulations!

2 moms found this helpful
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V.F.

answers from Scranton on

Yes, would be the simple answer. I can remember being pregnant with my first, being ill and tired but still having the get up; and go when I needed it. When you don't have any child before this, you are able to push yourself or get the rest you need. When #2 comes along then you are not able to rest when you want, because you have to keep an eye on the other one. It was easy to eat when you wanted when there was only you and you dh. Now that there is another one, there are schedules to be kept, activities to go to, more housework to do because now there are toys that are left out that weren't there before. More laundry etc.. It is normal!

2 moms found this helpful
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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

Ooooh yeah. Totally normal. The other posts have it right. Don't worry about the house. It will all come together eventually, but right now, I would focus on "wrapping it up" at work and getting the rest you need to be ready for your new little one.

Congratulations!

2 moms found this helpful

C.S.

answers from Medford on

I used to come home at lunch and eat then take a 30 minute nap. My husband used to call me the mama bear (cause i ate and passed out). I don't know if you can squeeze in a nap midday, but that was a must for me. I work fulltime and had a house to run and a husband who at the time was working fulltime as a Fiscal Manager, volunteer firefighting, and coaching wrestling (a M-F, 2 hours a day and all weekend commitement). Needless to say I had little time to myself. It is completely normal to be that tired and unfortunately, its normal to not have enough time to rest, but do what you can and get a little break here and there. 8-hours of sleep is a great base, but you need a little rest inbetween.

1 mom found this helpful
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B.H.

answers from Tallahassee on

Oh this is so normal. I have a 4 year old and 8 month old. I work fulltime and take care of the household. I'm always tired!! I try not to worry about keeping the house super clean.Remember they won't be little for long and you will get some of your sleep back.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.S.

answers from Washington DC on

I have a 2 year old and just had our second baby last month - I also work fulltime and I was exhausted throughout my pregnancy and still am. We were ready for the baby but not to the same extent as our first and I had to learn to just roll with it. If you are extremely tired tell your Dr cause your iron levels may be too low - something that can easily be corrected with supplements.

1 mom found this helpful
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P.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Yes, but, have your thyroid checked, just to be sure. To have 10 hours of sleep and then still be exhausted is a little abnormal. I was exhausted for years, and thought it was just the normal state of being a mother, only to find out after suffering for so long that I was actually extremely hypothyroid. There was an amazing change after only 2 weeks on thyroid replacement. I missed a lot in those hazy years of exhaustion. I wish I'd gone to the doctor sooner.

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K.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I was EXHAUSTED with baby #2. I felt for sure something was amiss, but nothing was. Pregnancy as a normal person is exhausting to start, pregnancy when you're already a parent is an entirely other thing. I found no solutions for my fatigue, short of having the baby, so all I can say is good luck! Just know that you're not alone!

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D.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

It is hard to get everything done. I am sure your husband would help out if you talked to him. I think you are probably going through the nesting phase. It is when you want to do everything. Work on things a little bit each day and may be more on the weekends. make sure to have one day on the weekend when you get to sleep in. Take care of yourself and the baby. Swimming or going for a walk may help out. They are both very healthy. Good luck

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D.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

Talk to your OB/GYN about your exhaustion. Usually, the baby's development slows considerably in the 3rd trimester, so the stress on your energy levels goes down. Exhaustion could be from a number of other things (hormone deficiency - thyroid, etc) and may be symptomatic of something else, so I'd not hesitate to mention it.

I, too, was a working mom through both of my pregnancies. I had extreme fatigue in my 1st trimester, but energy was OK in the later parts of the pregnancy (despite a baby under 2 at home). I was able to work a pretty demanding job until my due date with my second child. But, the fatigue set-in after her birth. I attributed it to having 2 kids under 2, nursing, etc. For me, it was something more serious that was not related to my pregnancies.

Congratulations on the new baby. I hope you're able to find your energy again. I'd just ask your OB to cover all your bases.

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P.O.

answers from Jacksonville on

I was extremely more exhausted the 2nd time around. Think about it, why shouldn't you be? You work, you have an active 3yr old, you are in your 3rd trimester, you are 3 years older than with your first one, and you have to take care of house work too. If you're like me, wait until you have to breastfeed your second one, then you will be wishing you were still pregnant :-)) Finding time to eat was a problem for me and still is, which also added to my exhaustion. It is normal and just resting in my car during lunch was what helped me a little.

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B.D.

answers from Lancaster on

Have your thyroid checked - if it comes back normal but you still have symptoms get it checked again in a few months. Pregnancy sometimes causes this problem to develope - I couldn't figure out why i was so tired and couldn't lose weight - they checked sugar but not the thyroid - i was diagnosed about 6 months after the baby. Or, it could be as simple as stress - you are trying to do too much (as we all do) and just need time to slow down and relax!

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D.C.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Exhaustion is definitely worse with #2. However, in addition to your thyroid, which I've seen mentioned, make sure your iron levels are ok too. With both my pregnancies, when I felt so exhausted no matter how much sleep I got, it turned out that I was anemic. An extra iron supplement (taken at a different time of day from my prenatal vitamin, this is critical) really helped.

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T.B.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Completely normal - I'm guessing you aren't getting 10 hours of sleep as in your last trimester, you are probably peeing every 2 hours. Exhaustion was the hallmark of my last pregnancy, and it got slightly better when the baby arrived as he slept 2-3 hours at first. However, now at 3 months, the 4-5 hour routine is getting old:)

Motherof2 hit it all on the head:)

Hang in there! And yes, I was nuts with home projects (I'm a SAHM as opposed to working outside the home), but realized that life will go on if a scrapbook isn't complete or a room isn't painted:)

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M.N.

answers from Philadelphia on

It could be normal, but also check with your doc and just make sure. I am in my third trimester with my third and have two little ones at home and am definitely exhausted but I can usually go without a nap midday now and don't head to bed til later at night. One thing to talk to them about is to check common things like your Vitamin D levels. After my last pregnancy I just couldn't seem to regain my energy levels and while I knew there was a lot of stress and demands on my time, it seemed more than what seemed normal. When they checked my vitamin D levels they were so low they were almost nonexistent. Once I got those up my energy level skyrocketed. We eat lots of fruits and veggies in our house, but for whatever reason that was way off for me and it just took one little vitamin to change things around. Good luck with your second and hope you figure out what's going on.

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