Oh yes, lots and lots of things. Big, BIG things (and some smaller things as well).
Usually I had to get uncomfortable enough to where I was willing to do something different.
Occasionally the opportunity and hope of doing something new was enough to draw me onto a new path.
For me, it's useful to identify the function served by an unhealthy habit.
For example, I smoke cigarettes. Why?
Here are some functions served by smoking:
- It gives me an excuse to leave situations
- Helps me take time to myself away from my kids
- Gives me a purpose when I'm idle
- Starts conversations (do you have a lighter)
- Ends conversations (Excuse me, I'm going to pop outside)
- Gives my hands something to do
- Gives my mouth something to do
- Relays my thoughts
- Is a stimulant
- Serves as part of my bad girl identity
- Gives me an external excuse for stress and stress relief (I'm not in emotional pain, I just need a cigarette / Oh no, that's so hard for me to take, I'll smoke a cigarette (the cigarette does NOTHING about my problems, but they do distract me from my problems which feels similar to real relief)
and so on and so forth.
I'll quit when:
- I'm ready to give myself the gift of nonsmoking and better health
or...
- when I become so uncomfortable/miserable from smoking that the drawbacks outweigh the benefits
Either way I'll need to find new ways to meet the same needs as cigarettes do right now / pattern my brain with new systems of thinking and coping.
Support and the process of being witnessed have been helpful. It's really nice to know I'm not alone when I'm trying to change.
Right now I'm giving up perfectionism and my crippling need for approval. Whereas before those things helped me to survive, now they hinder my ability to flourish, so it's time to adopt a new perspective. Hooray!