my parents adopted me, here's a few things:
when they were waiting for a baby (three years) they had many "teases", one instance in particular where they were told they were going to get a girl and then when the kid was born they were called and they had set up a nursery and EVERYTHING and when they got to the hospital the mom changed her mind. when they FINALLY got me (end of three years of waiting) they hadn't prepared at all, they knew my mom was pregnant and had met my family (not direct, but aunt and grandma) at church, so my birth mom was comfortable. when i came from the hospital they put me in a laundry basket w/ a pillow in it (i'm 8 months pregnant right now, so after all the things i read i figure it's a miracle i survived, hah).
open adoptions are a bit tricky, the kid gets confused and it's easy to imagine that life with their "natural" family would be a million times better than whatever (no matter what) is going on in their present family. you've gotta be patient. i know my birth family and, after i grew up, realized the benefits i had as a result of being adopted. mostly because all my natural siblings (3 of them) were addicted to one drug or another most of my childhood, i just didn't know it.
it's confused and complicated, but it seems like a normal life to me.