Have to Get 3 Year Old BACK in His Bed!

So, the 'supernanny' technique you mentioned works best if you camp out in the hallway for a couple of evenings or so. (I don't even like Supernanny, but this technique Does Work). When we moved our son to his own room at four years old, this is what we did:

1.Put him to bed and explain 'you are to sleep in your own bed tonight'. Expectation has been given.
2.Get yourself some magazines/book/laptop, whatever you need to keep you happy. Get comfortable on the floor or in a chair in the hallway.This is crucial at 'heading them off at the pass' and will mean not having to carry Mr 50 Lbs up the stairs. He won't even get down them.
3. When he gets up, just once, you say "Back to bed".And no more words, no explanation, no interaction. Just take him back to bed.
4. Repeat until he stops coming out.

Plan on being ready to do this for several nights. Once you have stated "back to bed" the first time, there's no need for interaction and no need to repeat it. He *knows*. No threats, no punishments, no talking from you, period. No eye contact. What I have realized over time is that I have to give the child Zero Emotional Response (not get hooked) for the solution to work. When we get emotionally engaged by expressing our frustration or anger, then our kids 'have' us.

I like what JoAnne Nordling says (in her book "Taking Charge: Loving Discipline that Works at Home and At School--- this same suggestion is in it): she tells the reader to imagine themselves as a stone in the ocean, a huge boulder, being pounded by churning waves, yet serene and steady. You are one mother in a long line of mothers going back to the beginning of our generations. We have all had to help our children with this. Staying emotionally neutral is our biggest asset, and I found this image of being the immovable stone very grounding for me.

I don't know if I have any other suggestions for you. Frankly, we struggled with this somewhat, and when our son's preschool teacher suggested this I thought "she's right, what the hell, let's give it a try". It took 4 returns the first night, one the second, and since then (months now) he hasn't come out of his room after bedtime. It does work!

We went through this. We eventually locked our door. He banged on the door for awhile and then snuggled up on the floor in the hall and went to sleep. Keep in mind he was not scared or hurt or sick. He just wanted to sleep with us. The next night he banged on the door for 5 minutes and went back to his bed. We never had another issue.

What about putting a monitor or walkie-talkies in your rooms - that way he would know that you he could "call" you if he needed you. Let him call you as much as he wants for one or two nights, then begin to limit the number of calls, he will find himself falling asleep on his own.

Be sure that he has night lights, comfy items (maybe take him shopping to pick out a new "big boy" comfy item to encourage him to sleep in his room), soft music or white noise. My son loved those glow in the dark stars that stuck to the ceiling.

Its scary to be that little and so far away from Mommy :)

But know that he will not be 17 and still sleeping on the sofa in your bedroom. This too shall pass.

Good Luck
God Bless

Supernanny has the best solution, and it's recommended on the Pajanimals DVD as well, which I highly recommend. It has about 30 minutes of songs for kids to help conquer bedtime fears, and then has advice from the authors of The Sleepeasy Solution for parents:
http://www.amazon.com/Pajanimals-Good-Night/dp/B002YE26MA

Yes, it takes work on your part, but if you want him to go you have to take him. Tell him he is going to sleep in his bed, tuck him in, close the door and leave. Wait to on the other side of the door before going to your room, and when he comes out walk him, don't carry him, to his bed. Stay outside his door for a bit to take him back if that makes it easier than if you were coming from your room if you like. As they say on the DVD you may have to take him back 65 times that first night, but it will get less and less each night as he realizes you mean it.

Also, if you can move that couch to another area of the house, at least until he's trained to sleep in his room, he won't have the option of sleeping on it in your room. Oh, and if you can take a nap during the day when he does to have extra energy at night ; )

You could try putting a mattress on the floor in his room for you to sleep on for awhile and then ease yourself out. That's worked for us various times over the years. I can see a 3 year old having a hard time adjusting to being that far away. My oldest has had a problem with us being in the next room...
Or you could try putting him with his brother/sister. Lots of kids share rooms even when there's an extra bedroom. I know my oldest likely never would have gotten comfortable being on a different floor so sharing with his sibling may be the best answer.

If I am asleep and a kids crawls into bed and I don not wake up they stay. If I wake up they go back to their room. If I wake up and discover them in my bed, i do not move them.