Have you recently or in the past had an "AHA!" parenting moment you're willing to share?
Our son has been hit with some changes in the last 6-months. New baby sister, starting preschool and with that, mommy and daddy seeing him as a "big boy." The little guy is still 2 (almost 3) for goodness sake! We've realized the past few weeks that we're expecting way too much of him. Instead of barking orders at him, we've been modeling and simply showing him how to do the things we'd like him to do. He's still being a wild ol' 2-year-old but it's amazing how much more peaceful our days have become. When we model for him, it's humbling how attentive and teachable he is.
When I used to say "Stay where I can see you!" and get annoyed when she would wander off until it dawned on me that she really did think I could see her prety much everywhere!
So I changed it to, "Stay where YOU can see ME!" Worked like a charm. So simple and obvious! Lol! Quite the Aha moment for me though.
A friend of mine said that children are the biggest, brightest mirrors you'll ever find.
Once I realized that my daughter was reflecting back at me what I was showing her, I realized I had better adjust my own picture!
She reflects back all of the people who influence her life. I became more concerned with who she was with and now that she's older I help her to understand that she can choose her own behavior.
Realizing that kids have emotions just like we do and trying to respect that. I know they don't have the verbal complexity and understanding, but sometimes I think as parents we don't really think about how our kids feel. I don't mean give in, etc, but trying not to say "no" because it's convenient, trying to explain the "why" of things, etc. Just understanding them, cause they seem to relax when they know we're not just being dictators, but teachers. It's hard to do, but I think it makes a difference when we can .
My "aha" moment was quite a few years ago with my first son. Every single dinner was a battle with him. Me pleading, cajoling, angry, sorry, and him stubborn and refusing to eat his dinner.
Finally, after a month(!), I realized "He will eat what I feed him! It's not poison. If he doesn't eat then he goes hungry. I am done playing this game" (because my HUSBAND would get all distraught that our son wasn't eating and feed him a PB&J sandwich or dessert or cereal. Our son had him wrapped around his finger). I put my foot down, told him dinner was dinner and that was his only choice. For about a week there he didn't really eat dinner until he figured out that we were NOT giving in. Now, he eats great (8 years later)! Since I have had two more kids the rule has remained. And guess what? I make one meal, we all sit down together, and for the most part they eat what I feed them! (they still don't like stew. lol)
L.
Good for you, L.! What a priceless discovery!
When my son started the "why?" stage--asking question after question about everything, I learned to answer with "why do YOU think?" I love hearing his thoughts on different things, and it has helped with the response being good enough for him!!!
My "aha" moment was only a few weeks ago when, after having my third child, that all kids are different. Even though this is something you would think I would have already figured out, it only now just hit me with my kids. My oldest does so well in school, and in general is so well behaved, and then my oldest son is so....boy! LOL He's rambunctious, and loud, and crazy, and is fixing to start preschool, and I had just automatically assumed that he would be just like our daughter. And then you have our youngest, a 6 mth old, who has all these different things going on with him and does all these different things that make me realize that I don't know it all like I thought.
It's okay if they cry. I had twins first, and once I realized this, the stress of two newborns at once went down tremendously.
Once when my son was bathing I was saying, make sure you wash your hair, get under your arms, stop playing so much in the tub, etc. etc. one right after the other and he says to me, "mom, I am just a kid" and I said, 'You know what? You are!" and proceeded to help him wash and let him play at the same time. It sounds very silly, but was a funny ah ha moment for me at the same time!
