Has Anyone Retained Their 6 Year Old?

I know two kids who were retained. They stayed back in Kindergarten while my son moved to first grade. He doesn't seem to care that they got left back. No one is making fun of them. They weren't ready academically and maybe emotionally and that's fine.

We had our daughter repeat 4th grade... and for her, it was the BEST thing we could do.

However, that was the right time for us... she was struggling, and needed a year to catch up. We also moved several states away that summer, so her friends at her new school and community didn't need to know.

Her second grade teacher suggested it, but we didn't feel that was the right time. (We also went back and talked with her previous teachers, and they agreed with us, that it wouldn't really help at that point.)

I know you are struggling with this decision.... but do you really want your child to continue to struggle? She is young...... school just gets harder, not easier...... if she is struggling now, think what it may be like in future years. You don't want to destroy her love of learning and desire, if she continues to struggle. Why frustrate her?

My daughter is very bright...... and just finished her Doctorate in Microbiology at Johns Hopkins School of Public Health, and just started working for NASA ......

B. you need to put this on the back burner for right now. Catch your breath. It seems to be taking over your life. Kids take their cues from their parents. If you do eventually keep her back, you need to keep your feelings in check. If you do keep her back, and you can keep your emotions I. Check, she will be fine. The less you make of it, better off everyone is. Switch school districts would be insane. Every time something happens,are you going to change schoolss?She will not be teased. Goodness gracious its first grade.

Your daughter does not meet the current age requirement (sure she did last year, but this is a wonderful reason to tell her why). California used to allow kids age 4 turning 5 in Dec (they even allow 4 through February in some cases) and now they changed the age cut off to 5 by Sept. You already mentioned her birthday in a previous post.

In my opinion your main issue is the school. Many school will not retain if the kids is 'okay' in school. It is really sad to see kids who are too immature (or behind) and have to move on to First grade or in your daughter's case second grade.

Also, Your daughter is in the Spanish program and it is not working for your family. She will now be in the regular first grade next year. I honestly think she may have missed a lot since she was learning in a foreign language and repeating will help her.

I did it to my son. Except I did it when he was in first grade. Best thing I ever did. It was only a little rough with a few boys who said things to him a few times, but really he didn't have too much stress with it. He needed the extra help, and it was up to me and my husband to hold him back, the school wouldn't do it. He is 15 now and gets a lot of help in school still. He knows that some kids just need extra help with school. He also knows how awesome he is with the skills he has acquired, and lots of kids can't do some things he can do. He can change the oil, put on new brakes in our car, and he has a dirt bike and a go kart that he can figure out anything on.
Just build your child up with self esteem and you should be ok.

I have a friend, her daughter was in the same classroom as our daughter, in first grade. She and the teachers agreed she needed another year in first grade. They actually moved her to another school for the do over.

She says it really was the best thing in the long run. He daughter could not keep up with the pace and she seemed very immature/ in an innocent way compared to her classmates.

The following fall her daughter gained confidence because she also had been tutored a bit during the summer.

She was a very shy child. We saw her years later at the end of our daughters freshman year, and this young lady looked great and her mom said she had really blossomed.

she won't know any better. she won't feel like a failure. you are making a huge deal out of nothing. the dual language program hasn't worked for her. and being so young hasn't worked for her. no matter how many different ways you word your question, it still doesn't change the fact that now is the right time to have her repeat.

Won't she feel like a "failure" if she always struggles in school? Won't she feel like a failure if she is always behind her peers?

Kids are NOT as brutal in the younger grades as they are in higher grades.

Can you home school for a year? Can you have her go to another school?

Well, I'm changing my answer since I came back to read through the other answers. I had just shot off an answer and planned to come back and read stuff later.

I didn't make the connection that this was the little one that had gone to kindergarten too early.

She's too young to be in 1st grade in almost every state except California. My bff lived in Sacramento and she started at 4 1/2. They moved further east in her high school years and she did okay but was just an average student. As a 30 something mom who is having to get a higher education so she can support herself she is an excellent student. I wonder if she had not started school at 4 if she'd have been a better student when she was younger...

Oh well, first grade is the best time to hold them back if they just can't do the work. I am contemplating the possibility that our guy is going to do first over. If he does I will change him to a different school. I think he might even do home school for a year. Not that "I" want that but it might get him to focus better if we can do the free OK online home school. I don't want to deal with him on a daily basis at home because I think he needs the school setting and interactions with other kids and his ADHD drives me nuts when he's having one of those days.

Anyway. In this instance, since she is technically not old enough to go to 2nd grade I'd do what Sadie said and tell her she's just not old enough to do 2nd grade yet and the school said she has to do first grade again. I'd still consider changing her school if it gets too hard on her. Kids will be cruel.

I would go with what the teacher says.. it is hard for parents to really evaluate how their child is doing.. the teacher can more effectively say if the child needs to be retained.. but she will be ok.. if you do it..

My GD was retained in 1st grade and she doesn't think a thing about it because WE didn't make a big deal about it. And I will say that she is doing MUCH better and is able to have some academic success. Last year she hated school; this year she loves it. If you think your child needs to be retained please do it.