I am not sure what kind of eating disorder you have or exactly what kind of advice you are looking for. I do know that even though I dont do the same habit now it is still on my mind, but what stops me is my son and wanting to always be there for him and wanting him to see the best of me and I know that if I were doing my old habits he would not be seeing me at my best. This is something that will always be a struggle for me but my son is worth it. I know this sounds easy but its not and I am not going to judge you, the same may or may not work for you everyone is different and has different struggles. I have noticed though in a lot of people who fight this same disorder we all have something in common. Finding ourselves and what makes us happy. Mine was not feeling I had control of anything so I controlled my food intake and exercise. You would be surprized at how many men and women struggle with this, you are not alone. Let me know how things go or if I can help in anyway.