Hard Time Leaving Daughter with a Babysitter

Updated on May 25, 2007
A.G. asks from Lincoln, NE
5 answers

My husband and I have not had more than 15 minutes away from our daughter in the 5 months that she has been born. Him and I are nervous about leaving her with anyone for any length of time. Especially now since when someone else holds her all she does is cry till my husband or I come and pick her up. We want to break her of that. I am afraid because they may not know what to do or what she wants and I don't want her to do nothing but cry the whole time we are gone. I know that if she stays on the same path of not letting people hold her then it will be a nightmare. I want to let people babysit but I am scared to death. I am the type of person that plays all the things that could go wrong in my head and then I chicken out. So my question is, is there anyway my husband and I can ease not only her but ourselves into the babysitting idea? I know I have to take a chance by letting others babysit but the thought of leaving my 5 month old in the hands of others is scary! Please help!

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So What Happened?

Thank you for all the advice. My husband and I left her with her grandparents for about 45 minutes. She watched us leave and then saw us walking up to the house. As soon as she saw us she got excited and just smiled. Her grandma said that she was a little fussy but not like she usually is. So I think the little at a time approach will work wonders! Thanks again!

More Answers

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K.C.

answers from Cedar Rapids on

I was the same way with our son..and it was bad by the time he was 2 i could not even leave the room that he cried...here is what we did first off i dont know about u but we found a trusted close friend of ours to help out....if we had to go to the store like something that will only take an hour or so we would have come over and watch him...we made sure his favorits toys where out and had her play with him for awhile before we left..we would leave and yes they cry but keep walking going back only makes them want to cry more....and go do your shopping now im not going to say the first time gone she will be happy when u get back but u did it and just keep doing it and once u get the feeling she is getting comfortable with u leaving make it longer times like u and hubby go out to dinner (alone) and relax and enjoy...This took us at least 4 months but now hes five and if i leave he dont have a fit as long as he knows im coming back...but it is best to break it now before she gets older and its worse...But I know exalcy how u feel...Always thought the worst of things instead of the best but thats a parents job....goodluck and if there is anything else let me know my e mail is ____@____.com...K.

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K.

answers from Pocatello on

A.

I know this time is hard. It was hard for me as well. I actually started a company to help with this situation. Nurturing Hands hires childcare providers for just this kind of situtation. I do extensive interviews, full background checks, drug testing and they are CPR and First Aid certified. We also train them on ways to help with seperation problems. I have twins and so I teach them the hardest things to deal with when you have multiples so when you have one child you can do anything.

Anyways, I understand what you are going through. You can e-mail me at ____@____.com if you want more information about my program.

Good Luck!! K.

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D.C.

answers from Iowa City on

I find it beneficial to have someone over while I am at home. That way I can get some things done and leave my kids/babies in their care. I'm right there if something happens and my children know they can come to me if they absolutely need me.
Once you start leaving the house, only go for a few moments at a time. Take a 10 minute walk, then a 30 minute errand, etc. Build up the time you are actually out of the house so your daughter will know that you are not gone forever and that you will return.
She'll go through separation anxiety again when she gets older, but you will know how to approach it from this experience. It also would help to use the same person or few people to watch her so she can form an attachment to the same people over time.

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K.S.

answers from Bismarck on

It might help if you find someone you trust and have them over to babysit while you are home. When I was in college I would have someone babysit while I did homework. Or you could just invite a few friends over for dinner and have the babysitter keep the kids busy while you visit. It will give you a chance to observe how the babysitter interacts with your child and how the child responds to the sitter. Just remember to let the babysitter handle whatever situations come up so your daughter doesn't learn that she can control you just by crying for you.

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E.B.

answers from Davenport on

not really a response so much as a hello from another mom in New London...HI

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