L.D.
Hi, My two daughters did the same thing until they were about 4 years old and, finally, they "respect the cat" My one daughter actually climbed up to get safety scissors (a quick trip to the bathroom for me, not quick enough apparently) cut off his top and one side of his whiskers, and he just laid there and let her do it. Couldn't believe it. Honestly, I've been there and done that, but the only thing that helped was age. Now the cat sneeks in to sleep with either/or at night and walks into the bathroom when they are on the potty to get a quick petting while they have "nothing else to do" so it seems he doesn't hold it against them. Unfortunately she is just going to have to learn in her own time. And, as for declawing, I work for a vet and if you could see how pitiful those poor things look after surgery you would never even think about declawing them.