My DS, age 10, has developed a habit of putting his hand down the front of his pants. As far as I can tell, he’s not doing anything with his hand (rubbing, itching, etc.). He does this when he’s doing homework, watching TV or playing video games, and even during sports when he’s waiting his turn or if the gameplay isn’t directly involving him. His teacher has mentioned that she sees him doing this in class, and I thought if other kids see him doing it too that they would call him out on it and peer pressure him into stopping. No such luck.
We’ve had conversations at home about how this is kind of gross, like picking your nose in public. I’ve even showed him parts of an old episode of Married with Children where Al Bundy sticks his hand down his pants and everyone on the show thinks it’s gross and Al is kind of a smarmy guy. When we’re out in public and I see DS doing this, I’ll say “hey, Al” and it’s our code word reminder that he should take his hands out of his pants. When we’re at home, I’ll just say “hands out of your pants!”
Any suggestions on how I can help him break this habit? Apparently what I’m doing isn’t working.
This is a nervous habit, I have a neighbor whose son has OCD and he does this. It really does boil down to reminders or giving him another behavior to do in place of this. Some kids pull out their eyebrows, bite their nails, etc.
My dd is a nail biter when she's anxious. We started polishing her nails and it helped to break the habit. Maybe you can give him some type of "stress ball" or object to play with when he feels anxious.
sagging and putting hands down pants seem to be "okay" now. It's not.
Every time you see him doing it? Just say "ew" or "please don't". Ask him what he is doing - is he playing, adjusting, what? Is he checking to make sure his stuff is still there? What? I know my boys were doing this for "warmth". Yeah. I know. They are now 14 and 16 and pretty much put their hands in their pockets now. My 14 year old still likes the skin contact when he's not feeling well. So we have him put his hands under his shirt...not his pants
Could it just be a nervous habit? Perhaps he has sweaty palms? I do, as a result of hyperhidrosis, so I am constantly rubbing my hands on the front of my pants or putting them into my pockets to wick the sweat and keep them dry. I now take medication for it, which has greatly reduced my sweaty palms, but it has not completely eliminated the issue, so I still do it on occasion. Why don't you ask him more about it? I don't really understand why you're saying it's a gross habit though, unless I misunderstood and he's really rubbing his genitals or "fixing himself down there."
Sounds like it's a nervous habit. Keep reminding him gently and he will grow out of it.
Is he wearing elastic waist pants? Maybe have him switch to zip up or with a belt, so it's not as easy - just to break him of the habit at school.
my boys did this from time to time. my little brothers did it forever. i've got a hysterical old photo of them from the early 70s, lined up against our front yard wall, three of them clutching the front of their pants.
it sounds as if you're handling it sensibly. don't tip too far over into shaming him.
you say it's not working, but how long has it really been? when our kids are doing something that makes us grapeape it feels interminable, but it's probably not.
don't succumb to the temptation to punish him for it. continue to help him with no-drama reminders.
yes, peer pressure WILL have an effect given time.
khairete
S.
How long has this been going on? I wonder if he is subconsciously interested in his own "development"? Maybe a talk with a strong male figure (his dad?) would be helpful.
It could be worse - he could be absentmindedly putting his hand into other people's pants....
In my classes where kids do this I call out random, "hand check" and everyone has to put their hands up in the air. I would suggest buying him pants with pockets, and teach him to put them in his pockets. I think this will work especially well since he isn't "doing" anything with them. I have a feeling he is just looking for a place to put them out of the way.
Give him something to hold.
How about one of those squishy tension relief stress balls?
Is he in a growth spurt. Maybe he's getting used to his new long arms and is figuring out what to do with them. In any case, keep on him. It's not something he wants to keep doing.
Get him a stress ball and tell him that he has to use that instead of putting his hands in his pants.
It's a habit. Whether for nerves or comfort, it's still inappropriate. I've seen grown men do this in the comfort of their own homes, but in front of people who are not just their own family members. Not cool...
I'd ask your ped what to do if he can't remember to stop.
Put a belt on him and fasten it where he can't put his hands down out of habit. He is doing it because it's a habit. Help him find his pockets. If he's wearing pants out in public that don't have pockets then you might want to rethink that. If he starts putting them in his pockets it's still hiding them but he's not putting them against skin.
