Handling Stress

This is a wonderful time to call in favors from friends, if you can do it. You need somebody to help with the deep cleaning, and *definitely* some people to help with the co-op, both because of your current health and the fact that you'll be out of the country for a while. You'll have to say this is something you can't handle by yourself right now. I'd be glad to come over and help, but I'm a little too far away.

Also, can you find a reliable high-school girl who can come a couple of hours a week and hit some of the high points of your regular housework? That will take a little more burden off your shoulders until you feel better (and give a young girl some practice).

Meanwhile, you're getting overwhelmed. Make yourself get out in the fresh air at least once a day, or twice a day if you can do it. Walk - or just sit - but be outdoors. Take your children with you - it will be good for them, too. Instead of watching television, read books to your children. (I don't know how old your children are, actually). That's something you can do even if you can't sit up - which I know from personal experience. Put on some music and encourage them to dance, or to draw pictures of what they hear. This could be a great time for them to learn to use their imaginations to keep themselves occupied.

I'm another of those people who wakes up in the middle of the night when stressful things are happening. I don't often actually get up (I've done it once in a great while), but I'll pray, and memorize poetry, and do other positive mental things while I'm lying there awake. I consider that when my mind that goes around in circles it's an enemy of my health.

You are NOT worthless. Your family doesn't think your are, and neither do your in-laws (I hope). Your body and your mind are just in cahoots against your feelings right now. Hang in there, and your feelings will come round.

Don't worry about a bigger house. You don't know that it *won't* happen - you only know that you need the money for this emergency instead. You may be surprised what will happen in a few months or a few years.

I'm praying for your family members in Ireland.

I am so sorry to hear about your FIL. I'm glad you are going to see him. That is such a loving, important thing to do.

Make sure you take care of yourself & your pregnancy. Rest. The housework can wait. For instance, the freezers? They can wait a bit. Thy pantry? It will have to wait, too.
What's important right now?

1) That you visit your FIL.
2) Your health & that of your unborn baby's.

Find something that helps you sleep: some decaf chamomile tea? (ask your OB), comfy temp, comfy position. Stress will always wake you up so find a way to tell yourself & your brain that things will get better. They will work themselves out. They always do......in time.

The cleaning can wait. Just do what is necessary (like laundry) & topical cleaning (counters, toilet etc).

Also, since your pregnant AND stressed, sit down & watch TV. You're allowed. Your health is top priority.

Let the kids do some fun indoor things like craft, forts etc.
Rent a movie for them ($1 redbox or Netflix delivered to your door).
If you feel good enough at any point take them to a park or indoor play place.

For the trip, let them take plenty of lap toys to keep them enganged while flying. Even buy a few new toys. Not sure of their ages but coloring books, pens, erasable pens & boards, travel games, neck pillows etc.

I will pray for your FIL

Updated

I am so sorry to hear about your FIL. I'm glad you are going to see him. That is such a loving, important thing to do.

Make sure you take care of yourself & your pregnancy. Rest. The housework can wait. For instance, the freezers? They can wait a bit. Thy pantry? It will have to wait, too.
What's important right now?

1) That you visit your FIL.
2) Your health & that of your unborn baby's.

Find something that helps you sleep: some decaf chamomile tea? (ask your OB), comfy temp, comfy position. Stress will always wake you up so find a way to tell yourself & your brain that things will get better. They will work themselves out. They always do......in time.

The cleaning can wait. Just do what is necessary (like laundry) & topical cleaning (counters, toilet etc).

Also, since your pregnant AND stressed, sit down & watch TV. You're allowed. Your health is top priority.

Let the kids do some fun indoor things like craft, forts etc.
Rent a movie for them ($1 redbox or Netflix delivered to your door).
If you feel good enough at any point take them to a park or indoor play place.

For the trip, let them take plenty of lap toys to keep them enganged while flying. Even buy a few new toys. Not sure of their ages but coloring books, pens, erasable pens & boards, travel games, neck pillows etc.

I will pray for your FIL

I don't really have a great trick for all this, but I just wanted to say that I am so sorry you are going through all of this, and with everyday, it will get better. Try not to overwhelm yourself with all the "to do's", and take it day be day!

J., I am so sorry to hear about your FIL. My prayers go out to all of you.

My suggestion is to go next month, don't wait until
after the baby is born. It will be good for your kids to see their Grandpa before he gets too sick.

As far as the co op and housework, I agree that you need a little help. With regards to the co-op, have you thought about maybe putting it off a little longer? Can you start it next year instead? Can you have someone else take over for now? I'm sure that's not what you WANT to do, but maybe it is something that is best to do, for now. Housework, all of us as moms know that it takes most of our time to keep a tidy house, the big stuff always is last. :) the best advice I can give is make a list. This really does help. Write down all of the things that you HAVE to do first. Phone calls, bills etc. then write down the things that you really need to do, like your pantry and freezer. Do all of the HAVE to dos, first. Tackle one, need to do, within 5 days. When you write all these things down, it may seem huge, but as you cross them off your list it will make you feel so good. Also, when you write things, that you have to do, down you are less likely to wake up stressing about everything because it will no longer be running through your head. Things run through our head because we don't want to forget them. When we know everything is written down we tend to relax more because it's on paper. Weird but true.

Kids. Get them a babysitter. I know you want to spend time with them, but a sitter a couple days a week is great for everyone. My girl's love when they have a babysitter. Especially when the babysitter is there during the day and they can do fun stuff besides watching a movie and going to bed. You are going to need the sitter not just so you can get your "need to do" list done, but to get everyone packed and ready for your trip to Ireland. Geeze, packing for a trip is hard enough, never mind adding the stress of why you are going on top of it all. A sitter will allow you to get the things, that have to be done and need to be done, finished so that you can have some quality, stress free, time with your kids. That way you can plan a trip to the zoo or museum, something bigger and more fun. A day that you can leave the house, knowing that you will come home not having a million things to do.

Dinner. The best way to handle dinner is to have your menu for the entire week planned out. Not made ahead of time, just planned. Another list. :) write down what you are making each day. This will help with grocery shopping as well. If you are doing burgers on the grill one night, then get the meat, buns and a side. Done. Day two spaghetti, pasta, sauce, bread or rolls. Done. And so on...., you will be amazed at how less stressful dinner can be. Also, have an easy backup plan. Cheese quesadillas are my easy, last minute, favorite, because everyone eats them and no one complains! I make rice on the side. Chips and salsa are a staple in our pantry.

No one can take your stress away completely, but just a little load off can make the world of a difference.

Good luck and God Bless to all of you.

Take out a paper and pen and line up what you really have to do and what you don't. I don't understand your co-op at all. Does it pay something? If not, then chuck that to the side or distribute the work if others are involved. So your freezers need cleaning, and cabinets and pantries-you are invited to my house if you'd like and take a look, I am in the same straights and do not have all these issues going on. Do you need to make an amazing meal everyday? Why aren't lunchmeats and fruits or veggies good, or pick up something on the way home from the grocer. Or crock pot early when you are not so tired. I know for myself, I stress myself with the SHOULDS. So, repeat after me, I WILL NOT SHOULD ON MYSELF. Do only what you have to. I often spend time cooking things for hours that cost very ltitle difference or make salads that could be purchased just as easily premade through mcDonald's and round off a dinner of meat and frozen potatoes. Just start cutting corners. Now back to this co-op. What is that? And I am so sorry about your Father in law. That is very tough and I will say my prayers for him and family.