Handling Annoying but Not "Bad" Behavior in Toddler

That is adorable from an outsider's perspective, I have to say, but I can see how challenging it would be! My son does a, "look at me, mom" marathon everyday and I tell him that I will look two more times (for that session, seriously, it is endless) and then I need to finish doing what I'm doing. He seems to get that. I would try to set a limit and then stick to it. Redirect her if she starts to get too upset. Then try again. It will take time.

She needs, feedback.
That is a how a young toddler, with limited understanding of complex emotions, does it.
They need feedback and validation.
It is normal.
This 'irritating' phase, is actually teaching them something: ie: how to have 'conversations', how to ask questions, how to speak up for what they need, how to fathom emotions, how to bond with their Mom, how to socialize, how to figure things out, how to ask for help, how to interact etc.

Repeating, is how kids learn. It is through 'repetition' that they learn and practice it.
Like learning how to ride a bike.
Except, communication and emotions are a lot more complex and takes a lot longer, to master.
Some adults have not even mastered communications or their feelings. For example.

By the time the child starts to 'yell' their statements/questions/wonderings... they are already, fed up.
They have no more patience, for the parent. Either.
They have tried. And gotten no response. So then they yell. It is an act of last resorts.

Its okay.
She is verbal.
That is good.
Many girls are.
Mine included.
Its okay.

What you need to do is: Teach her about feelings and the names for it. Or how to say anything, in order to express herself... more articulately as she gets older.
Teach her, that you are there for her. A parent has to actually SAY this, "I am here for you...." to the child so they u.d.e.r.S.t.a.n.d
Then show her how you are there for her.
Just like an adult, would need that, too.
Confirmation of it. That you are there for her.

It is a phase.
But a NEEDED phase.
It also reflects: a Toddlers fledgling and unknowing 'skills' at rudimentary communication and expression of feelings.
This is GOOD.
If you clip their wings about it... then you will have a child that will NOT tell you anything. And will turn inward. Because they will 'learn' that their parent is not listening or there for them, nor confirming, them. It is also a reflection of their changing 'cognition' and imaginations.
Which is GOOD.

She is fine.
She is normal.
She is developing... in the right direction.
That is good.
Envelope her for this, with your heart and arms.
So that she has and DEVELOPS: a sense of self, self-assuredness, and confidence. And knowing who she is.
This is how, a Toddler, gains these abilities.
Or not.
Nurture her.
She is at an age, in which she needs these things. It is an intrinsic developmental phase.

2 year olds, ARE attached to their Moms. This is normal.
They need to be close to their Mom.
"Bonding" also affects their brain development too.

An older child, in a sense needs more time with Mommy.
And, they do not suddenly become perfect or more 'grown-up' just because they are now the oldest. They are their same age. Not older. Just because a baby is around.

all the best,
S.

My grand daughter does this exact thing. Shes almost 4. Shes been doing this since she could talk at 18 months. It is really exhausting at times. most of the time. And I spend a lot of time on the floor talking, playing and taking part in this script she has written and insists we take part in word for word. Her frustration is so high if we dont do it just like she wants and she falls apart if we refuse at times. I think it has gotton better lately and I see some light at the end of the tunnel. She has always been able to play on her own for a while, and shes getting better about being willing to wait a bit until Im not busy. I have really thought about this need for control she seems to have and think its because she knows her life is not in her control. She has mommy at their home, and spends a lot of time with me at my home while M. works and goes to school. She then goes to her dads house on Friday nights to Sunday afternoon. Dad lives with his girl friend in her parents house. She also goes to his moms house, and his sisters house and we know she spends nights with them. Also her dad takes her to see his dad, and she has stayed with him and his wife. So, you can see how many homes she has and Im sure shes confused at times. When she was 2 and 3 Im sure she didnt know what to expect next and where shed be sleeping that night, and she just had to gain some control somewhere and her role playing was the only place she had control. I try to go along with it, but I do sympathize with you. It is hard, and tiresome and frustrating. But for whatever reason, she needs to do this.

could you try asking her why the penguin is going up the hill? what does he see when he gets there? or other questions. that way she has to continue to use her imagination and come up with answers. my kids never made me repeat what they said or vice versa, but they are talkers :) and i always ask questions or like you say uh-huh. or wow! really?!

i agree with conversating with her. maybe when she was the only that's how you communicated, by repeating what she said. she's little, i get that you were excited she was verbalizing so well. now she is the "big sister" - and she's getting older, too. so when she says, "mommy the penguin is going up the hill!" like the previous poster said, ask her questions. "ooooh and what does he see up there?" or "is he going FAST or SLOW?" anything at all. with new baby in the house she is needing that validation even more. change up your response and maybe you won't get so frustrated sounding like a broken record... :)

My daughter is the same age but mostly she will repeat me, not the other way around. I think both are attempts to imitate the back and forth aspect of a conversation. Usually she can't get a word in if her brother is around chattering away. With my older one I sometimes half listen and try and ask follow up questions. Have you tried asking her questions related to what she is saying? Like with your penguin example you could say ask "what he is doing at the top of the hill" or just state he is now at the top. Any variation so she knows you are listening but isn't a word for word repeat is good. Also if she is showing a strong feeling you can state the feeling with it.
I do tell my 5 year old chatterbox that I am busy (like when driving) and can't talk right now.

S., I know how irritating this can get - I have 4 daughters and the 3 that can talk are taking after mommy and talk ALOT!!! But I would suggest that instead of just repeating her, which makes for a very 1-dimensional world for her you should expand the conversation. If all she needs from you is talking while you're busy cleaning, resting, nursing, etc. you really do need to be relieved! Many toddlers demand to be held, included in diaper changes, read to, etc. and if they don't get it they throw tantrums on the floor waking the baby and making you quit what you're doing to discipline them!

When she wants you to repeat something I would suggest a couple things: 1. Turn it into a question. "Where is that penguin going to be when he's done climbing the hill?" 2. Make a silly mistake. "The penguin is driving to the mill?!?" 3. Continue the story. "When the penguin gets to the top of the hill I think he will find a polar bear to play with!" In this way you are repeating her phrase, yet teaching her the back and forth of conversation as well as how to respond and be involved with another imagination. You will soon want to have a notepad handy for some of the really great things that she'll come up with!

When you're really tired and need a break, I agree with a previous mom who suggested books on CD. My 3 year old really likes those and she can listen to them over and over on her own if I put the CD on repeat. (In her own room, too! Quiet for me!!)

It is normal. One thing I would like to say here. If your children are three years apart this kind of behavior is less likely as they are more capable of finding things to do on their own.
Since she is a sweet child just help her to be occupied when you need time alone with the baby. Also engage her in helping you to change her little brother like bringing you a shirt he can wear and a fresh diaper. In a month he'll be more playful and she will be able to talk to him and hold toys up he can reach for.
Set aside a big sister time that is just hers. Tell her it is her time and that she will have your full attention then. When she gets insistant remind her she will be having your full attention right after lunch or whenever it is scheduled.

Yes, this is very, very normal. Continue to engage in conversations with her, mixing it up a little to add variety. It is also okay to sometimes say firmly "Mommy is busy right now. You will need to build the nest by yourself."

Bringing some other kids into the house can also help. If you are the only talking person in the house, all conversations will be directed at you. Bring some extra kids into the house and they talk each other's ears off instead of yours. When you're at schools, church, playgrounds, etc, watch for 5-9 year olds who are entranced with your daughter and play well with her. Invite them over for a playdate. With a good match, three kids can be easier than two.

i think it is a stage and you've gotten some great responses.

Just wanted to say, that if you need a little break and don't want to plop her infront of the tv. you might want to consider some books on CD. when my kids were little, I would put on some old disney cassette tapes or go to the library and get some books with CD's and put them on and they would love listening to someone "read " them a story when mommy was busy. Even regular kids music cds can help too, we loved Raffi. it isn't entirely bad because there is alot of rhyming and vocabulary building going on, and if you read them teh book first and show them the pictures then they can listen to the story over and over and make connections to what they experienced with you. HTH oh ( i know there is a book and Cd for Puff the magic Dragon, alot of Curious George books, If you give a Mouse a Cookie, John Lithegow has some great ones, and Skippy John Jones) your librarian can help you.

Is it normal? Yes. Is it Typical? NO! a typical 2.5 yr old with a new sibling is showing signs of regressing, crying more, talking less, clinging and demanding and a LOT of Misbehaving to get your attention away from the baby. She has found a great way to get your attention! She sounds VERY bright and clever to get your attention without making you put the baby down. I know it's exhausting for you but it sounds like the two of you have found a way to keep worse behavior at bay. The tone of your voice may be more important than your words, try "OH, look at that!" with a smile and a bright excited voice.