Habits

Hi C.! I personally think that this is a learned phase that he will go through since he is so young. Maybe you can lovingly suggest to him, "Please say Yes Grammy or No Grammy when I ask you if you can hear me". You can also say, "You sound just like Grandpa! But I would like for you to tell me, Yes Grammy or No Grammy when I ask you something."
I know grandparents are sometimes not appreciated for making corrections, but I have found that as long as it is made lovingly, the child will be able to learn more manners and social skills than with just a mom nagging day after day.
And I have also learned that even the most annoying habits will eventually fade on their own if you don't make a big fuss about it.
Best Wishes!!

Hi C.,

My son is almost 4 and went through this phase for about 3 months and it was MADDENING. I did the SAME thing with whispering behind him, thinking his hearing was bad...NOPE...he heard me JUST FINE...and would laugh at me doing that! It just stopped recently and left as quickly as it came. I found it happened mostly when he was distracted with a toy/TV/activity. I also think that it's somewhat a "man thing" with selective hearing! He'll jump up and run if I whisper from across the room "Candy". But when I ask him to clean up his mess, forget it....it's like he has sound-proof glass surrounding him! He also has sensitivity to loud noises/crowds, but I don't think this is unusual for a small child...he's also a bit shy. I've learned that I must speak his name and have him look at me if I need to really get a message across to him...he's too busy to stop what he's doing/thinking about! Best of luck!

C.

My mother had a large hearing loss in her 40's and it's gotten worse as the years have gone by. I also do not like the "huh" or "what" that she gives me when I'm talking to her. I've learned to say, "Mom" or "Mom, I have to tell you something." That gets her attention so she listens. This has really cut down on me repeating myself. She seems to always miss the beginning of the sentence and when I get her attention first, she is more aware of hearing what I say. Don't know if this will help, but it's really saved my sanity. It's maddening to repeat yourself all the time. Best of luck.

Did he have a lot of ear infections and or tubes put in? My daughter did the same thing and you're right... it can get very irritating repeating everything. We did the same thing by saying "you heard me". Sometimes she actually did and others she did not know what was said. Her pediatrician sent us to an pedo audiologist (she was 4 at the time) to get a hearing test. Sure enough she had 40 - 55% less hearing per ear. At this time, she had had ear infections almost constant since she was an infant. We were in route to getting tubes many times but were often interrupted with a move to another state. There was no nerve damage it was just so much fluid trapped behind her eardrum (which wasn't actually infected) so it was like she was hearing everything as if she was underwater. I felt like Mom of the year since I didn't ask about it sooner, but instead dismissed it as "you heard me!"

Bravo! How wonderful of you to do that:) My daughter is three and she went through a stage of saying "huh", "what". I too worried about her hearing, but the pediatrician told me that it is "age-appropriate" so did her pre-school teacher. It has to do with learning new words, trying to put them together, and their attention ability. She is now starting to get out of that habit/stage:) Good luck!

If I were you I would take him to a hearing specialist and have his ears checked. Even though he hears you whisper behind him does not mean he does not have a hearing problem. There are a lot of different types of problems children have with their ears. It's better to get it checked out now than to be sorry later.

Hi, C., my name is C. and I am really terrible with the computer so bear with me. I recently retired from having spent 32 years as a school psychologist, so as I would tell the families I work with it is probably nothing to be alarmed about and the odds are it is a developmental issue, or a habit as you said. However, to me there is a potential red flag. Clinically he might have some sensory integration issues (SI) as we refer to them on the job, and he may be hyper-sensitive to some stimuli (such as loud noises). He may also have a mid-range hearing deficit, so maybe an audiological eval and a screen for central auditory processing disorder. I always like to rule out potential issues, that way if there is no problem you can deal with it as simply a habit he is unaware of , or he just isn't paying attention. At three years old, your grandson is entitled to necessary evaluations by the public school system in which he resides. I would talk to his parents, perhaps his pediatrician, to see if a referral for assessment might be in order. One way or another it would be good to know. So much of early learning goes on during the first few years, it would be a shame if he was at a disadvantage because he is missing some auditory input......again, I STRESS the probability is that he is perfectly fine, but if he were my grandbaby, I'd look into it. You are so fortunate to be a grandmother.....my daughter is 28 and shows no indication of being aware of a biological clock. Hope all goes well, Sincerely, C.

Ho C.,
I too am a Grandma.

You may be right in that the hmmmmm is patterning after Granpa however the loud noises hurting his ears is another thing. That problem seems to run somewhat in my family tho not everyone has it. Actually it is a minority of people who do. There is no cure that I can see. He will just have to learn to adjust and love a different lifestyle as the majority of society thinks that loud noises equate to enjoyment.
His family, loved ones and friends can help him throughout life if they merely keep this in mind and do not try to think it is all in his head. You can do a great deal to help his self image that will develop later in life Help him to undestand this as what it is & to understand his aversion to places where he will know that there will be loud noises. (like football games)
I have never enjoyed gatherings where there is alot of chaotic noise. O can go if it is really really important but I can only take so much. He will find that for times when he feels that he needs to attend something noisy that frequent quiet breaks may help him through it.
He may actially have musical talent and it may be his reaction because he is so sensitive to sound. Then again there is the outsode possibility that his ears are sensitive heading towards trouble.

Siellyn

It is normal for loud noises to scare them or not be liked as I am sure you are aware. However, if there is some fluid build up in the ear it can cause it to vibrate and sound even louder. At the same time, fluid in the ears can cause children not to hear well. It probably is a stage of saying "huh" but if you are concerned, take him to an ENT (Dr. Cressman is AWESOME and has offices everywhere) and have his hearing checked. If he hasn't had his hearing checked since birth, it is probably a good time to do it. My step mother is a speach therapist and made me have my boys hearing checked once a year since birth. They both had ear issues that required tubes, all related to fluid build-up. They never had a bad hearing report, but the Dr. said that there was probably some blockage at some point in time.

Good luck - You are a GREAT Grandmother for being concerned!!! :-)

Hi C.!

sorry I have no suggestions on what to do for you, but wanted to wish you good luck!

I do believe tho it is a faze they go through sometimes because my son did the same thing as well. You are right for not repeating yourself, that is what I started doing after weeks of repeating myself over and over again (I would say 'you heard me the first time, and I'm not saying it again') and eventually he stopped doing it...

just hang in there, he will get over it, and things will go back to normal :)

Hi C.,

I just read your question and browsed through the responses since I didn't want to just repeat what was already said.
I am a daycare provider 13 years now, and a mom. You may have a both and situation going on. It is developmentally appropriate for children to be distracted and not listen or hear but their budding independance chooses not to respond.
Mimmicking and habits are also a possible factor. But you knew this and something bugged you enough to write.

As a mom of a child who had sensory integration dysfunction,
what the school psychologist recommended was also on the money. What she didn't say was that research showed that if you catch a child with sensory problems before the age of six and get treatment within that time, the brain can grow new neuron (sp) connections and in essence eliminate or reduce processing problems. A good book on the subject is "The out of sync child". If you check out a copy from the library, read it and see any other signs, an evaluation may be in order and the sooner the better. Treatment is Occupational Therapy. No drugs. It did wonders for my then four year old.
He had some of the signs and not to the extremes, but this really helped. Anyway, check the hearing and maybe the way he processes what he hears.

If all is good, have the child repeat to you what you said. This will help him to remember, be accountable, and let you know if you have put it simply enough to begin with.

Hope this helps,
B.