J.,
Whoa!! Information overload! :-)
We have quite a bit in common, but I'm a SAHM. I'm a latina mother of three living in the Bronx. I, too, am enrolled in an online master's (MBA) program. I will try to address some points you have brought up.
First off, congratulations on your newborn. To maintain your daughter's current skills and improve upon them, try the LeapFrog products that you can get at Toys R Us. They're fun and educational, and they have products for specific ages that will challenge them in a fun way. To enhance her interest in the moon and stars, check out the NY Hall of Science http://www.nyscience.org/exhibitions/explore_exhibitions
They have a preschool room as well. Your daughter will love it. There's so much for them to absorb, and the price is reasonable. It's in Queens.
Go right on ahead and begin speaking spanish to her. She will not become confused at all. I grew up in Brooklyn, and my parents had alternate spanish-speaking days. So if we wanted something, they acted like they didn't understand us unless we spoke spanish in the house. Clever. As a result, we can communicate in spanish as well as read it and write it. I do that with my kids now, though not as often. As time has passed, my preferred language is english, but I speak to them in spanish, and they'll respond in kind. I want the kids to acknowledge and appreciate their culture, as I'm sure you do too.
Don't rush your daughter and don't expect too much from her at this tender age. She's still learning, and she will come around in her own time. If you're concerned about her milestones (based on your description, you shouldn't be), discuss it with her doctor, but she seems to be on point, perhaps even further. You will be amazed at what she's retained by the time she's 4 years old. My 4 year-old seems like an old soul. Sometimes I catch myself actually negotiating with her----a 4 year old! Also, don't worry about her mimicking you. That's the ultimate compliment.
I think watching tv responsibly is not bad at all. Sesame Street, Dora, Noggin channel and the like are very good sources of preschool education. However, hours at a time may not be helpful because they do need the physical exercise and other mental stimulation--books, music, etc. You can even print some exercises from the internet to get her adapted to holding a pencil (Ticondera) or crayon and scribbling at first. Pretending to read a book is a good sign. Try to squeeze it in your schedule to read to her. It doesn't necessarily have to be at nighttime--even if it's a few pages.
It certainly is not too early to start her in the mommy & me class. I did that with my youngest, and she was the same at the very beginning. Stay consistent in going every week, and she will come around and actually start to enjoy the classes.
I started researching schools while I was on maternity leave. It's never too early to start looking. Set up interviews and grill them about everything and anything that you need to know about. Write a list of all questions you have for them, so you leave fully informed. Check your local listings, get referrals, and stop into nearby places of interest. Hubby and I interviewed a "Christian" school, and at the end, we finally asked for a brief tour of the facility. She paused a bit, then explained that she kept the Christian kids in one part of the building, and the rest of them in another part of the building. Not very Christian of them. Needless to say, we never returned. Things like this are better to know way beforehand.
As for your son, again, Leapfrog has products for all kids' ages. My kids attend a Catholic school here in the Bronx, and I am very content with it. My youngest is in the pre-school program.
I think I touched on everything. Overall, you need not worry. It seems that you're on the right track. Keep up the good work!
M.