Hi! Well my daughter is now 10 yrs old and she has all things puberty on her mind now that her grade has gone through the all-girls gym unit on Your Changing Body. She asked for the American Girls book called the Care and Keeping of You, so we looked through that and talked through that together but I wasn't all that impressed with it. I wish there were pictures of real girls and not just drawings. I think that would have been more relatable. NO NO NO I don't mean pictures of the private things, but photos of real girls of different ethnicities and sizes, what pimples actually look like, that kind of thing. They also had one tiny drawing of a girl being offered a beer and a cigarette by these arms coming out of nowhere and the girl has this horrified look on her face with her hands waving in front of her. The smoke coming out of the cigarette curled up and formed into a skeleton or something in the air. I mean, I just don't think that's that helpful or honest. When they do get offered those things it will be by their best friends and it won't seem scary like that at all, so I thought that AG could have done a better job of being honest about the dangers of it, the grossness of it--yellowed teeth, and offering a script of how that conversation might go, with the girl standing firm and being smart.
SOOOO, I was wondering if any of you know of a good book that is straightforward, helpful, honest and encouraging for my daughter's age group on the subject of "growing up"....Thank You!
Thanks for all your replies! I agree the American Girl series is a good starting place for these topics and I'm glad that they offer that to help us educate our girls. Reading through it gave me ideas of certain topics that I think my daughter might benefit from getting more information on and I thought I'd ask you all for some recommendations on other books.....Tara, I did not know of that place in Hinsdale. Sounds interesting and I'll take a look at the link--thanks!
I'm just glad that my daughter and I are having good conversations about this now so that by the time she goes through those changes she will understand what's going on and know she has me to turn to anytime.
Thank you again for your help, suggestions and encouragement!
We actually liked that book.
I also ordered a videotape (yes a long time ago) for my daughter that was offered on a tampon box. I think it came from Playtex. It was an informative video of "real" girls talking about changes to their bodies.
It's old but still effective, Are You There God, It's Me, Margaret.
No pictures of real girls, though.
My kids also liked the Chicken Soup series, Chicken Soup For The Pre-Teen Soul would be a good one for 10.
But most of all, just never ever stop talking to her and answering her questions. Use humor a lot.
:)
C., your tag says you are located in Gurnee, IL. I grew up in the Chicago surburbs, & still remember trips that our classes would take to the Robert Crown education center, located in Hinsdale, IL, not too far from you.
They have an extensive list of programs geared towards children of all ages, and many of them are about development & sexuality. I'm attaching a link below to their site & the programs offered for K-8. They do breakouts by age group, & have different sections for boys & girls on some topics.
The "Linda - Puberty education for girls" includes a comprehensive booklet to take home. Now, it's been over 20 years since I went through the program myself, so I'm not sure what the booklet would look like, but this might be a great opportunity for you & your daughter to attend & then talk about afterwards.
Additionally, since they are a center geared towards education, they might have additional resources available, or be able to point you to the types of books you are looking for. I remember when I was a bit older than your daughter, my mom gave me her copy of "Our Bodies, Our Selves", but I don't know if that is a book that would be appropriate for 10 yrs.
http://robertcrown.org/gradePK8.shtml
Kudos to you for being an involved momma!! T. =-)
My daughter actually liked that book a lot. It was one she referred to over and over. But I learned that, you are her best book. Talk with her about the things you just posted. Point out all the variety of girls and women at the mall. Talk to her about reality. Talk with her about your experiences when you were young and even now. Talk with her about your feelings about your body, the media, your fears, your likes and dislikes, and how you care for yourself.
You can find pictures online of some of the things you want to show her. The website Upworthy has some great videos of how the media photoshops women for ads and show the reality of the illusion that is portrayed. Your open, honest, ongoing conversations with her are the best thing she can have.
Also, pay attention to the things you say about your own body and other women's bodies. Sometimes we are unconsciously putting ourselves and others down and don't even know it. Pay close attention to what words you use. Modeling is how our girls learn. Get really conscious of how you see the world and know that that is how she will see it too.
This may be a bit old for her, but you could work with her through it...
Every single woman should own and study "Taking Charge of Your Fertility".
I read it for the first time at 30, and WISH I'd have known even half of what was in that book earlier in my life!
my daughter really liked the American Girl series
Take a look at the web site www.amightygirl.com. They have many suggestions for books on this topic.
I have to say, my daughter is 11 and got that book (The Care and Keeping of You) when she was about 9. No, the pictures may not have been lifelike, but it provided a great jumping-off point for our discussions, and provided information in a way that wasn't intimidating to her. I think it's really the job of us as parents to provide additional, detailed information to our girls as needed. For instance, when it came to my daughter's skin getting a little oily and starting to break out, that was my cue to take her to Sephora, buy her a Clairsonic and the whole line of Murad acne products, and teach her to use them properly. Had I thrown all of that at her when she was 9, including giant pimple pictures, she would have really worried about it, I think. Some girls might do just fine with more detailed information, and/or may really NEED it. And then some girls will never have a pimple in their lives. It really just depends on the child.
Anyhow, just a slightly different perspective.
I bought both of my daughters' (now ages 15 and 11) the American Girl Book. My older one referred to it alot. It's written for a child versus an adult and I like that. I also got Are you there God, it's me Margaret by Judy Blume. My older daughter loved it.
