Good One Liners for Being Introduced to the New Girlfriend of Your Ex=) Jff

you took all the good ones!

How about -

Do you like that thing he does with his tongue? I taught him that.
You're much slimmer than he described
So, how do we do this? Do I hand you a baton or something?
I'm looking forward to comparing notes with you on his bedroom skills
If he gets grouchy, J. up his fiber intake.
Have you met his mother yet? You look eerily like her.

I was going to bring you a bottle of vodka.... but you're only 3 months in, so you're probably still drinking wine at this point.

Abreva helps the outbreaks.
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Sorry about setting the bar so high.

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Ask him about the Three Eyed Turtle position - it's awesome!

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Girl to girl - skip the float trip. Have you seen the movie "Deliverance"?

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I hope for your sake that he's stopped wiping boogers on the pillows he doesn't use.

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I'm sooooo happy he finally dumped Dave!

The phrase "O. man's trash is another man's treasure" comes to mind.

....J. wait...you'll see

...I'm the lucky one....I got away.

Run Forest...Run...

Enjoy it while it lasts ...

J. wait until the shine wears off.

To my husband's ex - Thank you for being stupid.

Off topic but my husband's ex is hooked up with an old friend of theirs (a guy they double dated with when still married). This guy was always trying to give my husband advice, especially parenting advice. One time my mild mannered husband turned to this guy and said, "You were -ucking her while we were still married. Don't give M. advice." Sometimes you J. have to be in the moment to have the inspiration.

how about "wow, you are one lucky girl!!!"

Are you the girl he met in therapy?

Wow, I remember when I was stupid enough to date him....

Have you seen him in drag yet?

Blink twice if you are being held here against your will.

Or the ever popular RUN GIRL RUN?

Well Tom tried to hide her behind Troy's van, which I found very amusing. I J. went up and said oh Genna has told M. so much about you. :)

I got my satisfaction later when she said I knew the things he said about you weren't true. :p

I wanted to go with god help ya, or some variation on the theme.

Who I would really like to meet is Troy's ex J. so I can ask are you stupid!!! I am glad she is stupid but I J. wonder if she has figured it out.

I taught him How to do it right! ;-) lmao!!
Or I see you enjoy my leftovers.
Oh, you look better than the last one!
Have you met the other one?
Good luck with his family! :-P

Maybe turn to your ex and say - does this mean you're finally gonna stop bugging M. for sex?

If I spoke to him still I would say something to the effect of...Make sure he wears a raincoat or you might end up with baby #3 he won't see or pay child support for + an STD!

Better you than M..

or

Hang on to your wallet.

Last year some time a poster vented about her husband and all of his controlling issues that she was subject to, well our very own Grandma T responded to her and this was classic to M. and I am itching to use it one day.......

Sounds J. like my EX, maybe he (meaning her husband) should be yours!

I hope I quoted her correctly. LOL!

"Welcome to the fold."

So, what did you do with that money we gave you for your high school graduation???

No wonder he's discovered it best to keep her away from M. ;-)

Oh thank you ladies for these laughs! I am in the process of filing and I needed this today!

I had a guy friend who met his ex's new boyfriend and said "hey how's my d**k taste?" I thought it was kinda funny, they had only dated no kids together or anything so it wasn't something that would cause problems in the future.

to the new girlfriend-- whats it like to be second best!!