Going to the Gym Twice a Day...too Much?

It is important to stay healthy, but it will backfire if hubby is overwhelmed by doing the childcare alone. Could you compromise and see how going 2x a day a couple of times a week helps the both of you? Or how about going back to the gym after the kids are in bed and you've been there for evening routine?

Well, think of it this way, would you be annoyed if he went to the gym twice a day and left you with the majority of the house/kid load before and after work and school? Personally, I'd be mad at my husband. I think it's a lot. I would miss my girl - there's no way I could be away that much. How do your kids feel about it? Honestly, I don't blame your husband for being a little put out - I would be. Cut down to a few days a week maybe? I think it's totally awesome that you lost so much weight and you're taking good care of yourself - truly! I'm not trying to be a downer for you, but I honestly think 5 days a week morning and night is too much. Not only for your husband and kids, but sooner or later you're going to hit a wall if you keep going the way you are. You're going to wear yourself out.

You could work out in the morning at the gym and then do family walks in the evening. That's what I did with my family. That way we could still talk about our days, school, sports .....we were spending time together...and I made it a habit for my family to get excersize every day. Win win!
L.

You sound like a friend of mine. She had major ppd and took antidepressants. Her husband encouraged her to get out and exercise. She started with going for long walks. He got them a gym membership . She found that she REALLY liked it and felt great. No more meds. It started to interfere with her family life. She only spent weekends with the family, otherwise she worked out everyday and got home when the kids were getting ready for bed. They went to counseling and worked out a plan where she would go 3 days one week and 4 another, with 1 morning each weekend. The reason she was willing to change,and no one here has mentioned, she was getting addicted to exercise. The counselor had to really work with her to get herto see that. The thing that points out in your question is that you are the one that would "lose" if you change your schedule. My point is to be careful. Think about what can be done. Sit down with your husband and talk about it. Not working out twice a day everyday may not lead to taking meds again. You may find that you can fit in the exercise a different way.

As much as I believe in working out, yes, with two kids and working full time, going to the gym twice a day is too much. That means your husband has to do everything.

Once a day is plenty to keep away depression, and more than most people do, so your statement about having to go back on antidepressants to make him happy is kind of extreme. And you also don't need to work out twice a day to keep the weight off. Just find one thing you can cut out of your diet daily, and your weight won't creep up. Most regular workouts don't burn more than 300 or 400 calories, and you can eat more calories than that with a bowl of ice cream.

I recently cut juice out of my diet, since I consumed probably 700-800 cals. per day of fruit juice, and now I can eat just about anything.

Why not work out at home for 30 minutes BEFORE work and BEFORE The kids get up (get a few dvds and follow them) this way you can help with the mornings with the kids, and then your husband can do the afternoons, its a fair trade, this way you can stay off of your medication and stay in shape and also make your husband a little happier

Well, I'm going to give my opinion. Take it or leave it.

What about your kids? If you are going in the morning and evening, and working...how much time are you spending with your kids? I think more then you and your husband, it's your kids who are being cheated. The truth is, working parents only get to see their kids a few hours (if that) a night. Of course, that's life! However, working out and seeping into that time with your kids...I don't understand that. Will you look back on your life and regret not working out at night, or regret having almost no time with your children?

Find a happy medium. Can you take what you learn from the trainer, and do those things yourself? That way, you can go to the gym AFTER your children are asleep. There is no reason to HAVE to work out while your children are awake, in my opinion. In fact, I don't understand how you don't feel a little unsettled about missing so much of them.

Understand, this isn't about making him happier. This about pulling your weight and contributing to your family. Being a mother and a wife first, and then fitting in time to exercise. It's called comprimise. You are not compromising. You are sacrificing your family time, peace with your husband, and investment in your home life. You can certainly not do those things and still work out. You just have to be willing.

Instead of going to the gym 2x/day, what about taking a walk once you've put the kids to bed? That way, all of the childcare doesn't fall on him during the week, and you still get to excercise morning and evening.

Just my opinion here: I do think twice a day EVERY day is a bit much and over time will be quite limiting. Some days, maybe....but each and every day? What happens if you and your husband want to go out one night? Or kids want to do something? Would you be willing to give up your evening routine? While the exercise makes you feel good and you're reaping physical and emotional benefits from it, (which is GREAT!), I hope the exercising doesn't become an obsession with you to the point where you become inflexible to the exclusion of other activities in your life (kids, husband, family, friends). Not trying to be mean or judgemental.....just something for you to think about.

Best to you and your family.

J. F.

I think you're going to have to compromise. Can you do the morning workout & then wait until everyone's in bed & then do the 2nd work out? Can you get some exercise equipment for your home? That would make your life (and everyone else's) a lot easier.

Just think of how you would feel if the situation were reversed. Putting yourself first is good, but not when it is obsessive or gets in the way of your family life. It sounds like he's a semi single parent right now, and that's not fair to anyone. I also really hope that you're not using the depression as a manipulation tool, which it kind of sounds like you are doing.

If it were me, I'd cut back to one time a day. Granted, you do feel great, but this is a lot to ask of your husband. Marriage is always about reasonable compromise. Perhaps you could do twice a day a couple times a week when he has the extra energy to be alone with the kids and then see how it goes, or go once a day on weekends-- or find a gym with childcare?

If this has bigger issues involved, maybe go talk to a counselor to figure out what feels equitable for you both...

Congrats on the weight loss! Go once a day, and then find a time at night or in the morning to workout in the home... it is possible to get a good workout in that way, so you aren't compromising your health and depression. Maybe you can have one or two days a week that you go twice, like a Tuesday and Thursday, but not every day... you still have to be there for your family.... that means your husband and your kids. You have to compromise here and not going twice a day every day isn't going to jeopardize your health, but going twice a day every day can jeopardize your family's health.

I'm glad people are encouraging you to cut back. In a way, you're now not being a mother during the week. We'd all love that sometimes... I work full time and don't work out at all unless it's before everyone else gets up or the kids are in bed. I can't have it all. Call myself a mother when I'm only with my kids on weekends by choice. So sorry but I side with your husband.

Try to do the morning workout at home and keep the evening workout with the trainer. Perhaps extend the evening workout by 15 mins.

Yes he should be supportive of your new lifestyle, he wants a healthy wife and mother for his kids. However, what is the point of the new healthy life if you lose so much time with your family?

Without having read any responses yet, I think you are becoming obsessive about exercise, and you need to re-evaluate your priorities. If you are working FT, and spending 2+ hours per day at the gym, when are you spending time with your kids, or your husband?
I know that exercise can become addictive-I've been there. And its hard to see the addiction when you are in it-been there too. So, my friendly advice is exercise 5x/wk for 60-90 minutes each time. Mix it to be sometimes before work, and sometimes after, but never both. You WILL burn out on your current regimen. It took 2 years for me, but I still burned out. You WILL burn out. And then you may find that you lost your family during that time.
As far as gaining weight back, if you are eating under about 1600 calories a day, and working out 5 days a week, mathematically, you just WON'T gain the weight back. And as far as the anti-depressants go, no one can give you an answer on that. Why were you on them? What were you on? For how long? Only while you were overweight? There are to many unknowns to be able to answer whether the weight loss or the exercise is responsible for you being off them, but I don't think you are going to slide back down to depression just by backing off the exercise a bit, and actually LIVING your life a bit.
Are you getting something at the gym that you aren't getting at home? Extra male attention? Plenty of compliments on your "new" body? You need to evaluate the reasons you feel compelled to be there and not with your family. Evening exercise can come in the form of a family walk, or even a jog after the kids go to bed, if its really just about the exercise.....

I work out twice a day too. Workout at night keeps me out of the kitchen and after I work out I never feel like eating. I however workout in my basement. Could you get an exercise bike, eliptical or rowing machine, or a bench and some free weights and just work out at home. I understand your husbands's point and I do not think it is fair for you to say you are risking gaining the weight back and going on antidepressants. You are in control... Not your husband. There are plenty of ways to workout at home.

I would take a look at the workouts you are doing and if you are getting the most bang for your buck. You can do a shorter workout and burn a lot of calories and actually get more benefit because the intensity is higher. Twice a a day isn't necessarily bad unless it starts having negative impacts on other parts of your life and that sounds like the case. You should be able to find a compromise and perhaps alter your workout routine. Also take a look at your what and how you are eating. If you are working out regularly and still struggling modifications can be made here too. http://www.sparkpeople.com/ is a great resource for exercise routines and eating habits.

I guess the real question might be is it the weight gain you are most concerned about or keeping your routine.? You have done a great job getting healthy but there are many creative ways to maintain that. Don't let one aspect of your life take over and compromise other aspects of your life.

so you work full time.. 8 hour days.. + commute.. + morning and evening work out?? you must be gone from home 12 or more hours a day. When do you see your kids and take care of them?

I can understand your husband being upset.. I think you have to drop morning or afternoon workout.

maybe you can get a video or weights and work out at home while hubs and kdis are home.. you can also take a walk or run outside.. free.. and doesnt take so much time away from everyone.

If he seems unhappy then I think it is time to sit and talk with him about it and find a compromise that works for both of you. Perhaps you can go just 3 days a week in the morning and/or afternoons and do a workout at home the other days. Keeping peace at home is important too. Cutting back on gym time doesn't mean that you have to gain your weight back just find a new way to make it work. Congrats on your weight loss.

It is fantastic that you have adopted a healthier lifestyle and lost so much weight. It is also an added benefit that you are off the antidepressants. Too often mom's put themselves and their health on the back burner. So it is good that you have carved out some time for yourself.

But what you see as a healthy lifestyle change, your family is seeing as selfish. You are simply not there. You are now putting them completely on the back burner so you can do what you want. There is a compromise here, you can get up earlier. You can go to the gym after the kids are in bed. You can change your workouts to include family. You can follow any of the suggestions given. The point is, you need to bend a little here. Your husband and kids need you and want you around more. Something has got to give. Like so many have suggested, if the shoe were on the other foot, you would not be pleased. Your husband is going to hit a wall doing it all alone and you'll hit a wall trying to keep up a crazy schedule.

I think you're gone too much and I'd be frustrated too if I was him.

I have a friend who lost a lot of weight (over 100 pounds) and now she is training for a body figure competition. It's gotten out of control with her though. She is at the gym 3 times a day and her body is more like what a skinny man would look like and not a female. Just my opinion.

Can you go on your lunch break? Can you incorporate a run with the kids riding their bikes along side? Is there a daycare at the gym? I think you need to do something to play your part in the family more fairly.

Start by putting yourself in your husband's shoes. What if HE was the one to go to the gym every morning and evening, and YOU were the one at home doing all the things HE is currently doing. Would you be annoyed with him? Would you think that it wasn't fair that he got to go to the gym while you were at home taking care of the kids/house? I think you just need to talk to you hubby and the two of you find what would be a good balance for both of you. Congrats on your weight loss!

In the vein of compromise...
Have you considered going to the gym mornings/evenings on alternate days?
For example, do morning gym time M,W,F and after work gym time on T,TH. Then, do an alternate 2nd workout also. On MWF evenings, take a walk with your husband/family. On T,TH mornings, go for a walk/run on your own before work, then get your shower and be there to help with the kids before school/work.

OR, just do alternate times and skip having 2nd workouts on the same day altogether. It really is a LOT of gym time. And a sure way to get burned out, or injured. OR to fall into obsession with it, like another poster mentioned.

Even going once a day every day M-F is more than most people do. And you shouldn't have a dramatic change in your state of mind or your health/weight if you are still exercising 5 days a week. As long as you eat healthily and get adequate sleep/rest.
Congrats on all the hard work so far. :)
Perhaps the two of you could find a physically active hobby to take up together on the weekends. ?

Go once a day in the morning and focus on your kids after work. You can even go on walks or bike rides if you want to. I don't think it's fair to your husband(or kids) and you also risk starting to injure yourself working out too much. Congrats on the weight loss:)

WOW.. I applaud your having lost the weight and feeling better too without having to take meds... way to go!!!
As for the exercise routine... Couple of suggestions.. while at the gym, what about varying and intensifying your workout a bit so that in one setting you get more of a workout than you would in two? OR........ do you have space at home for some workout equipment? what about a space for a mini gym at your home? this way, you can either get up really early to do the wkout at home or later at night.. basically, whenever the mood strikes you. Also, the space could have a t.v. whereby you could play your favorite wkout videos and exercise along? nowadays, you can find lightly used equipment online for cheap.. something to think about..

keep up the great work!!

Yes, going to gym twice a day is too much for anybody who is not a professional athlete. You should be going every other day. Just like you have the discipline to go to the gym, you can make the right choices of what you eat. It's not fair to your family that your new preferred lifestyle is somewhat selfish.

Honestly, twice a day to the gym 5 days a week is a bit excessive. I go to the gym 4 days a week for 1 hour each morning for a bootcamp workout. Tues/Thurs I go at 5:30am so I am back home before hubby leaves for work and our daughter leaves for school. The rest of the week I go 8am after everyone leaves for school/work.

You can find things to do at home to keep active without escaping to the Gym. Play tag with your kids, go for a bike ride with the family, go for a nice brisk walk, pop in a tape and do some power Yoga, Mow the yard (with a push mower), weed flower beds, walk during your lunch break. All these things will keep you moving, burn calories, and increase your endorphins.

Expecting your husband to take care of the kids while you run off to the gym is a bit selfish on your part. Sort of like some husbands that run off to the ball game all the time while the Wife takes care of the kids.

It depends. How long are you at the gym, and how long are you away from home each day? "Going to the gym" could mean 45 mins or 2 hours.

But, maybe you need to have a discussion and find a way to compromise. As others have said, there are ways to get in some of your workouts at home, or after the kids are in bed, or at noon.

I would think about which workouts are most helpful, is it the morning routine that gets you going for the day, or is it the trainer-led workout that really helps the most? Which days of the week help you the most? What other kind of physical activity could take the place of what you do at the gym on some days.

When I was first married, with two young step kids, I liked to work out at the Y a lot. We talked and agreed to which days of the week I would make dinner, leaving the rest for me to work out after work. I would go for a run later, on the days that I cooked dinner.

You are right, though, that exercise can relieve mild to moderate depression. Read the book "SPARK: The revolutionary new science of exercise and the brain" by John J. Ratey and Eric Hagerman for the scientific evidence of this.

There's room for compromise.
How about twice a day 3 times a week and only once a day the other days?
I was told that rest is an important part of an exercise routine.
Constant motion/use can stress your muscles/ligaments/joints.
You need balance - with your needs, family and work.
Are you sure you are not hyperthyroid?
They tend to need to move move move all the time and it wears them out (heart and eye problems are common).

There is nothing like a good work out (sorry going on a family walk is not a work out to me). I do think a conversation with the hubster is in order. Find out what is more important to him and see if you can't work our a compromise.
Does your trainer ever come in in the morning? Can you combine two of your work outs at one time??
If you are running or doing straight cardio in the am, can you do it earlier??
I have had to work out at home and even then, my husband has to watch the kids there. I can't be in the middle of a set and then someone ask for water and I have to drop what I am doing, etc.
Talk to him, really explain and see if there is a way you can help him (set out kids clothes, prepare a quick breakfast so all he has to do is set on table, etc)
You are not being selfish. You have spent years taking care of others. Time to take care of you too!

Twice a day is too much. Your body will not respond as well if you don't let the muscles recover first. Work out in the mornings, and in the evenings take the family for a walk, bike ride, play ball outside, anything to keep moving for a bit, but also allow you family time. It's great that you have lost the weight and feel better. My husband and I have done the same thing. I have started getting up earlier in the morn while everyone is asleep, get my workout in and then I am home to help with kids and have hubby time. Talk to your husband! He is probably feeling a bit overwhelmed and he needs alone time for himself as well as attention from you as his wife, not just a daddy figure. You can also excercise at home with a video after everyone is in bed if you feel like you MUST but if you continue eating right and the morning routine, you will prob be able to maintain your weight. If you gain a pound or 2, then cut back a bit on your food intake! This is manageable. You are very fortunate that you have a husband to help! He and the children should get at least as much time each day as one of your workout routines! Good luck and keep us posted on what you decide!

I think you should aim for one workout at the gym and one at home. That way you can be there with the kids and hubby even though he may be doing the morning routine. I think it's great you lost the weight but I agree also that you will burn out or push your hubby away because you are gone so much. I like the idea of cutting back to 5x a week for 1-1.5 hours.

Instead of the morning routine, is there some kind of work-out you could do during your lunch? Or find a piece of equipment you can have at your house to use in the mornings? Just a few thoughts!

Congratulations on losing weight, getting healthy, and getting off your antidepressants! That is wonderful and I'm sure you feel fabulous! I think there is a way to get everyone's needs met, with a little negotiating. Can you put the kids in a bike trailer and go riding in the evening? Or does your gym offer childcare so that your husband could have some time off during your second workout of the day? I think you have legitimate concerns, but so does he. Ideally there would be a family activity that you could all enjoy together while you still get the exercise you need to be healthy, physically and emotionally.

First off Congrats on your recent huge weight loss and not needing anti depressants! Working out 5 times a week twice a day is not necessarily too much as you are probably doing different type of workouts. Talk to your husband and come up with a compromise. He is not going to like an unhappier you, and definitely he should not support you having to go back to taking antidepressants. Maybe you could cut out one or 2 of the workouts and go walking with him or doing something active with him and your daughters, and maybe do a workout during Saturday or Sunday when the daycare at the gym is open so you can drop off the kids and your husband can come workout with you, or relax at home, or do something he would like to do. It is not unfair for you to expect his support, but you also have to listen to him and communicate so you can both be happy and keep your marriage intact. Best wishes and God bless!

How about 6 mornings per week, one night and may be at home or during work sessions of planks and things.

Hello,

I am a stay at home mom with 3 boys. I have been so overwhelmed this summer.. My 2 boys are in elementary school so they are gone during day in school year, and my youngest is almost 2 but is into everything. I have been on an antidepressant for a long time, and actually started going to a therapist last month. What I have realized going to therapy is that my whole life if focused on my kids and husband and not at all on myself. I have lost 20 lbs this year and have about 20 to go. I workout at home almost daily and while I am working out I feel so good. I have a gym membership as well, but it doesnt have childcare. Just yesterday my therapist said I need to do what makes me happy and I mentioned going to the gym at night to get out of the house, but that I feel so guilty. She said I needed to get over that and do what I need to do to make myself happy. I have been questioning my marriage a lot lately but can't pinpoint what it is, and I am starting to think it is that I am not happy with myself, therefore can't be very fulfilled in my marriage.

I think as long as you are spending time with your kids at night and able to do what you need to do around the house with your husbands help, you should continue. My husband has had to step up because I have gone out to dinners etc at night with friends. If I knew I could get off my meds by doing something healthy for my body I would do it! You being happy makes you a better mom and wife too.

I think it is great you have motivation to go twice a day! I look up to uou for that! Good luck!!!

Don't cut back on exercising because your husband is annoyed.

It IS fair to expect him to be supportive - this is something that is making you REALLY happy, its good for your, and healthy. You will live longer and be a better mommy because of it.

I don't think its unfair to expect him to take care of his own kids.

You have ten workouts where your husband is watching the kids - this is what - 10-15 hours a week? If you can make a few adjustments, your husband can watch them 5-7 of those times. They ARE his kids.

A couple of options - replace a couple of your morning work outs with a morning walk/run/bike ride that your kids can come on.

Bring your kids to the gym with you one or two nights a week.

Do you work out of the house during the day? Can you go one or two days a week on your lunch break?

You have done something GREAT and AMAZING which is to lose 60 pounds. Your husband should be supportive.

I havent read the other comments, but I really hope no one tried to make you feel guilty with neglecting husband/children foolishness. I suspect you have been neglecting your needs for your families needs for a long time.

I do think you can continue with an exercise routine you are happy with AND still parent and be an attentive wife.