Going to Be Away from 3 Year Old for Five Days - HELP!

She says she misses you.
It is good, she can verbally express that.
Just validate her.
Don't reason it out or overly intellectualize it.
A child just needs validation.

When I was in the hospital for a c-section for 3 days with my 2nd child, my daughter was 3 almost 4. She'd tell my Husband who was home with her, that she missed me. She said that a lot.
My husband comforted her.
She missed me... but was okay actually. She was just expressing her 'feelings.' She is real close to me and attached.
But, She was not in angst or trauma or having emotional breakdowns about it. She just missed me. And would say so.
That is good. That is healthy. She could say so.
We did not try and convince her she did not miss me or rationalize about how many days etc. A child will not know, what 3 days are or 5 days.
They just miss you.

My Husband meanwhile, just kept her in her regular daily routines and bedtimes. And kept her busy.
She did fine.
YES she missed me. But she was okay.

all the best,
Susan

I deal with separations the OPPOSITE way. Instead of talking up my leaving; I talked up kiddo "GETTING a whole week with NANA!!! Oh boy! How exciting!"

In my experience it's all about the spin. Whether I'm having my toddler (in the past, obviously...he's 8 now) throw hugs and kisses through the ceiling to daddy who's at x place with big grins and silly stories about how they crash into him, or when I'm phoning home and NOT talking about how much I miss him but instead asking him how much fun he's having (good idea to get prompts from whomever is watching them BEFORE talking to the wee ones so that one can ask about specific things), or whatever... I'm highlighting THEIR adventure & fun time.

Kids just take so many of their cues on how they're supposed to think/feel about any given subject ... that even if I'm saying I'm going to miss him - it's never ever with a sad face or tone or seriousness... it's with tickles and "Oh! I'm going to miss you giggler! Can't wait to hear your stories when I get back!!! You're going to have so much FUN!!!"

Parents are like gods to their kids. If "it's" something scary enough to make mommy or daddy worried/ sad/ cry... it must be the end of the world! It must be terrifying!!!

Nonchalance + excitement = happy, stress free kiddos.

Even when they're sad I put a grin on my face before saying that it's okay and then TOTALLY redirect them to the fun stuff. It gives them somewhere to GO with it instead of just leaving them in the lurch. "Oh yeah, I get sad and miss ______, too!" huge grin / conspirator whisper or wink "What I do is _______________."

My husband was gone on business for more or less 3 months straight last year. He and my son are very close. We just told our son (then 3) that Daddy had to go away for a few days, but that my son and I would get to have special time just for us. Even though I am home with him every day, we made sure that there was always something special going on.

My suggestion for your husband is to make you going away a good thing. Tell your daughter that because you are going away, she and daddy get to have special dates together. While you are gone, have your husband take her to the movies, zoo, museums, anything special that she may not get to do normally. Maybe have dinner with someone special or, even better, go out to eat as a "date" just the two of them one night. Once we made it special, and not sad, my son was perfectly fine.

Tell her you will call her every day, and if you have two computers (one being a laptop), maybe you could even Skype with one another. Hope this helps and good luck!

I would tell her a day or two before you have to actually leave -- then you're not springing it on her but you're also not giving her a week to stew about it. A few things we have done:
Make a "countdown the days" craft (you can even use sticky note and she can throw one away each day until you get home).
You can Skype -- then she can see you too!
You could make an animal with her at Build-a-Bear and record you're voice telling her you love her.
She could do/make something for you everyday (like a picture of what she did) and give them to you when you get home.
Your husband could hide a small gift (like stickers, or crayons, etc...) around the house each morning that you are gone, so she has a little something to look forward to.
A 3 year old is old enough to understand that you have to go away for work sometimes but that Mommy always comes back. Yes, she will miss you and may cry too (which always breaks your heart) -- but be calm and don't stress. Once she realizes that you aren't freaking out about leaving, she'll start to learn that she doesn't need to either.

Bring your laptop - download Skype (its completely free) and you can video chat with your daughter wherever in the world you are. She will feel better being able to see you, and vice versa. Do this daily/nightly while you are away. You can even read her a story (over skype) or other things to make her not feel so sad.
Do not tell her days in advance, the day you are leaving you can 'break the news' just stay calm and tell her you will be back very soon, you have to do something for work, but guess what ? I have a big surprise, we are going to video chat on the computer to one another !' You can even do a 'test run' at home and show her from different rooms how it will work. By distracting and putting a positive spin on this, she may be more accepting of doing this. Also maybe letting her know you will get her a souvenir/toy that you will bring back from where you are going, etc.

I'd let her know about it in casual conversation. When we are going to be away from our kids, whether it's one or both of us, I make a calendar for them covering the week before the trip up until we come home. All you need on it is the days of the week, and then under each day, the major parts of their day (breakfast, lunch, nap, dinner, bedtime, etc.) as well as anything special that may be happening that day (church, a play date, doctor appt., etc.), so you end up with 4-6 things each day. You might put Mommy coming home for each day that you're in town. As each even takes place, she can put a sticker on the event. I always put our return in really big print, in a different color, so it's easy to see where the kids are in relationship to the return. I've been doing this with the kids since our oldest was about 18 months old. It works really well for our kids.

We also try to Skype several times during an absence -- it's free so why not. That seems to help. I usually do it shortly before bedtime, so the kids can share something special about today, plus share what they are looking forward to for the next day. We do ask that the kids be all ready for bed first, and then they can talk, and then they have a few minutes of downtime before bed.

I'd be willing to bet that it won't be as hard as what any of you are expecting if you and Daddy stay calm and talk about it casually for a few weeks before time. GL!

Last August I had to spend 3 weeks in TX training for a new job. I was franitc about leaving my then 4-year old for such a long time.

Skype helped a lot...he was able to see and talk to me every night. I also left him "Weekly gifts", little token gifts and cards that he got to open once a week. I told him before I left that after he opened 3 weekly gifts it meant I'd be home the next day. That really helped solidify the timeline in his little head.

write your own story. Sienna's Daddy stays at home caring for her and her Mama goes to work. Some morning Sienna cries when Mommy goes away for the day. It is perfectly all right to cry when you won't see someone until it gets dark outside.

You get the idea. Illustrate it with magazine cut outs.
I did that when I had to explain something too big for a 3 year old's concepts to take in. I still have the story.

do you have a laptop with a webcame? and a home computer that you could get a webcam for? and if you dont buy two and skype with her, its free and she can still see you every night and talk to you