Going on Vacation with a Friend

I'd have no problem with it. My kids are all very independent though. They started going to week long sleep away camps at age 8.

If you think the trip is dangerous in and of itself such as going out on a boat for a week then no way. If they're going to a park where kids have a good time then that would worry me less but I'd also worry about her being taken by a stranger. If they were going to a place where it's a basically safe venue then I'd let her go. Otherwise why not plan a joint vacation someplace with this other family next year. Then you can all go and watch the kids and have a blast.

Our daughter is our only child and we took a friend all expenses paid 100% for every Spring Break from about age 12-17. She now does her own thing with friends since she's almost 21.

8 is a bit young but it depends on the maturity of your child, how well she adjusts, how well you know and trust the family taking your daughter.

Has she been away from home for a week before? Our daughter did overnight camps for a week from 8-10 ( plane ticket away) .

I don't think there's a right or wrong answer. It just boils down to what works best for your family. Could it work? Of course! Could she be a little young? Yes. You know your daughter and this family better than we do!!

there's no way i'd stand in the way of a kid this age having an awesome adventure with people i know and trust.
i missed my kids like fire when they were away from me. i miss them now that they're grown and gone. but raising them was about them, not me. and raising confident kids means you let them out of your sight when great opportunities come along.
khairete
S.

Does she want to go? Ask her.
It really does depend on your child.

My kids started going to week long camps at that age, a four hour bus ride away.
They loved it and I'm glad I was able to give them that experience.
But it really depends on your daughter and how mature and experienced with travel and overnights she is.

Our son couldn't do it at that age but other kids would be fine with it.
It depends on your kid.
If she ends up miserable - are you going to go 12 hrs away to go get her?
That kind of distance isn't trivial.
You and Hubby really need to discuss it and come to a decision.

We often took friends with us on trips - but only really good friends whose families we knew well. I would decide if you trusted this family or not and whether or not you approve of the plans and allow her to go if you do. It was almost always a benefit to us to have a friend in tow since my stepkids didn't always enjoy extended family bonding. We plan to do the same when DD gets older since she will otherwise be alone. If your daughter is being asked, she must be considered 1. a good kid and 2. a very good friend.

If your DH doesn't want her to go, why is it? If your DD doesn't do well away from home, then that's one thing. We had a girl cry and cry and I thought we'd have to call her parents to come get her. But most of the time the kids did fine. It was a big slumber party. If we rented a beach house and mostly bought groceries/ate in, then one more kid didn't make or break our vacation. No one had to feel beholden to us for paying for their kid. We were paying for the house anyway.

If SHE does not want to go, then that's the answer right there.

ETA: So is the issue the distance, then? The location? I'm a little unclear because you said she's spent a week with them locally so I'm trying to see why you don't want to send her.

Really depends on your child. If she's been away from you before for any period of time (camp, sleepovers, stints with grandparents, etc.) that would help you judge whether she's ready - that would be most helpful.

If your child is laid back and sleeps well and wouldn't get homesick - I guess that's what I would be looking at. I have one that wouldn't have been able to handle it - but others that probably could have. The overnight camp my kids go to starts week long stay-overs around that age, so while mine didn't go that young lots of kids do.

You don't mention why your husband isn't ok. It has to be something you're both on board with for sure. And the one thing I would consider is are you willing to go get her if she's homesick? Nothing worse than having calls from a child who isn't having a good time and having other parents having to deal with that on their trip.

If you're not sure - it's a bit of a long trip to have to make. Good luck :)

Depends on the kid. My oldest I would have absolutely let her go. The youngest, I'd have to think about it. Maturity plays a big role...but I would like to think if a family was asking this, then they would feel comfortable to keep my kid in line if needed. So my answer would likely be YES.

My oldest had a friend from Kindergarten on who was an only child. My daughter went on vacations with them every year and had a blast starting in second grade. I guess you would know best, do the girls get along well enough to spend a week together? Is your daughter pretty independent? Will she speak up for herself? etc. Mine did fine and had lots of fun on those trips. I always sent her some spending money and I usually bought a gift certificate for the parents for dinner (and kept their daughter) but I did let them pay for her as they could afford it and really wanted her along to keep their child busy. It was win/win for all.

Nope! 8 years old is too young to be away from family for a whole week, in my opinion.

I would let my kids go. Good luck

Hey this one is your call. For me it would depend on how comfortable I felt (and daddy). That's all it boils down to. If you don't think she's ready, then just be honest and say she's not ready/she's too young/maybe next year. Don't sweat this decision. It's entirely yours and either answer is equally as valid. Sorry I'm not more help - if anything I'd say don't overthink it. Not letting her go is fine!

As others have said, depends on her maturity level. If you are 100% comfortable that the adults in charge will be keeping a watchful eye on her, then it would boil down to HER comfort level. Will she be able to speak up for herself when needed? If she gets hurt or doesn't feel well, will she be OK with you not being there to take care of her? I sent my 8 year old to Disney (on a plane for the first time too) with my sister and she had a blast but she was like a second mother to her. Talk beyond the "fun" factor of the trip and see if she is mature enough to handle being that far away from you for that length of time.

Totally depends on the kid. Has she been away before for a while? Is she independent and confident? Does she sleep well in a bed other than her own? Does she like this other child well enough to be joined at the hip for a week, or do they get on each other's nerves? Sounds dumb, but is she a good eater and able to manage in restaurants and someone else's kitchen? Does she have good manners and will she be polite and accommodating with the parents? Do the other people have a similar discipline and supervisory style when it comes to letting the kids off by themselves or swimming or other potentially dangerous situations? If yes to all of these, then it may well be a terrific experience.

And finally, will she pick up the hesitation and concern on the part of both of her parents? If your husband is against it, then I think you need to listen to that. If your daughter has never been away with a friend or a grandparent or to camp for at least a long weekend, then I would say no to 12 hours away for a week. What's your plan if things don't go well? Will you drive/fly out to get her? If you don't want to do that, they tell the people you think she is too young or inexperienced.

I think it would be fine. It's not really any different than going off to summer camp or something. The girls are used to each other and have proven they can spend a lot of time together. You trust the family. Let your daughter have this amazing experience.

Hi Fivesmom,

Given what you've written I would let her go and not deny her this experience. At 10 my DS went to Disney for a week with a very good friend and his family and he was just fine.

Please don't forget though that the parents are going to need written permission with a signature (and perhaps even a notary stamp) that they have the right to secure any medical attention she may need at any time while she is in their care. Make sure they have all her stats, DOB, weight, height etc....and all the insurance/payer information they will need just in case of emergency.

Since mine was going out of state and they were flying, I did have the release notarized but that's just me. If it had been a road trip, like I get the sense you're suggesting, the signature should be sufficient. And, if she takes any regular medication, be sure to add that into the release that they have permission to administer and or supervise while she self administers.

I hope she has fun. :-) S.